Bored and angry after listening to this, so I wrote this review. Posted on MA.
Title: Awful
Score: 5
Imagine Band X. Band X made a name for themselves in the mid-80s with Awesome Album, which was hailed as a landmark thrash album and garnered them legions of fans. They toured aggressively, put on live shows that became legendary for their intensity, and built a solid fanbase. Their second album Rockin' Record successfully built on the strengths of the first while taking it further and won them even greater regard. It seemed like the sky was the limit for Band X.
But then, alas, tragedy struck in the form of December 30, 1989, when seemingly all the thrashy goodness was drained from the world. Suddenly, Band X found themselves in their late twenties, beginning to settle down and start families. With nothing to fall back on, this band was their job, and it was finally beginning to pay off. It sounded good, but sadly Band X were tired. They felt they didn't have another Awesome Album or Rockin' Record in them. They didn't feel like touring and drinking all night; they just wanted to stay home and watch movies. But everyone has to eat, and for Band X eating meant putting out another album. When they had first formed the band in 1982-3 they had sworn they would break up when they felt they were beginning to lose it, but that was a long time ago and things were different. Band X felt like they were in a bind.
Suddenly it occured to Band X that they didn't need another Awesome Album; they could shit out pretty much anything and a half million people would buy it before reviews came out warning them it was crap; they could tour and their fans would come see them as long as they always played some old songs. And so it was that Band X swallowed their pride and went into the studio with music they surely knew was not only weak, but not even thrash.
You may have noticed I haven't been using names in this review. That's because this applies to a whole bunch of thrash bands in the 90s. Some of this may not even apply to Flotsam and Jetsam; I only have this and High (bulk order, not like I wanted it) and while I plan on getting Doomsday soon I haven't actually heard it. F&J clearly suffer from 90s thrashitis, though, and really badly. I mean, Kreator produced some shitty albums in the 90s but they were shitty mostly due to production choices rather than the music being so awful, Metallica were actually decent in the 90s, and Megadeth produced a couple worthwhile bits post-Countdown, but this album is a trainwreck. With anthrax*. And Nazis. There is absolutely no reason why anyone would want to hear this.
The production is awful too, sounding really scooped and shitty, like they were in a studio one step above a garage and wanted to sound like they were in a garage but overdid it but in that way where it's artificially raw and overcompressed. Painful to listen to. Why can't bands just record shit with decent mics (cheap) and then mix it reasonable instead of being all "We must make it MEGAHEAVY! TO THE COMPRESSOR!" Not that it matters because the music is total crap.
*Not the band Anthrax, the shit that kills you.
Title: Awful
Score: 5
Imagine Band X. Band X made a name for themselves in the mid-80s with Awesome Album, which was hailed as a landmark thrash album and garnered them legions of fans. They toured aggressively, put on live shows that became legendary for their intensity, and built a solid fanbase. Their second album Rockin' Record successfully built on the strengths of the first while taking it further and won them even greater regard. It seemed like the sky was the limit for Band X.
But then, alas, tragedy struck in the form of December 30, 1989, when seemingly all the thrashy goodness was drained from the world. Suddenly, Band X found themselves in their late twenties, beginning to settle down and start families. With nothing to fall back on, this band was their job, and it was finally beginning to pay off. It sounded good, but sadly Band X were tired. They felt they didn't have another Awesome Album or Rockin' Record in them. They didn't feel like touring and drinking all night; they just wanted to stay home and watch movies. But everyone has to eat, and for Band X eating meant putting out another album. When they had first formed the band in 1982-3 they had sworn they would break up when they felt they were beginning to lose it, but that was a long time ago and things were different. Band X felt like they were in a bind.
Suddenly it occured to Band X that they didn't need another Awesome Album; they could shit out pretty much anything and a half million people would buy it before reviews came out warning them it was crap; they could tour and their fans would come see them as long as they always played some old songs. And so it was that Band X swallowed their pride and went into the studio with music they surely knew was not only weak, but not even thrash.
You may have noticed I haven't been using names in this review. That's because this applies to a whole bunch of thrash bands in the 90s. Some of this may not even apply to Flotsam and Jetsam; I only have this and High (bulk order, not like I wanted it) and while I plan on getting Doomsday soon I haven't actually heard it. F&J clearly suffer from 90s thrashitis, though, and really badly. I mean, Kreator produced some shitty albums in the 90s but they were shitty mostly due to production choices rather than the music being so awful, Metallica were actually decent in the 90s, and Megadeth produced a couple worthwhile bits post-Countdown, but this album is a trainwreck. With anthrax*. And Nazis. There is absolutely no reason why anyone would want to hear this.
The production is awful too, sounding really scooped and shitty, like they were in a studio one step above a garage and wanted to sound like they were in a garage but overdid it but in that way where it's artificially raw and overcompressed. Painful to listen to. Why can't bands just record shit with decent mics (cheap) and then mix it reasonable instead of being all "We must make it MEGAHEAVY! TO THE COMPRESSOR!" Not that it matters because the music is total crap.
*Not the band Anthrax, the shit that kills you.
