Happy Birfday Dark One!

[Dark One]

LOL - I enjoy happy birthdays that contain real or even artistic renditions of hot women. I seem to like those the best.

 

[Dark One]

Fuck that dude, if you do that, she'll already know that she can fuck you over time and time again and you'll just happily roll over and take it. Drop-kick the bitch and go find someone that'll actually stand by the promises they make.

[/EVERLOSTINDEADETERNITY]

 

[Dark One]

Yeah, I'm pretty upset, but I know that the pussy in me will still talk to her as if nothing happened if she ultimately calls and is like "hiiiiiii, I hope you had a nice weekend....."

You guys are not going to believe this. I just got a text message from her and it said, and I quote, "Did you have a nice weekend?"

I swear I am not making this up.

 

[dill_the_devil]

On the subject of crazy bitches, I was just round my mate Jack's, and he got the single most crack-addled, raving lunatic phone call from his most recent ex that I have ever witnessed. So naturally, I whipped out my MP3 player, pointed the built-in mic at him, and hit record to capture his side of the conversation (for 'conversation', read 'furious venom-spitting shit-storm'. Anyone interested? It's half an hour long, but there are some moments of comedy gold.

"DING DING DING! Give the girl a fookin' prize!"

"What if you changed? Well, pigs might fly!"

 

[lurch70]

You guys are not going to believe this. I just got a text message from her and it said, and I quote, "Did you have a nice weekend?"

I swear I am not making this up.

please tell me that you did not send her a reply other than Fuck Off Cunter

 

[NAD]

You guys are not going to believe this. I just got a text message from her and it said, and I quote, "Did you have a nice weekend?"

I swear I am not making this up.

Tell her yes and then send a photo of you porking her sister/mom/uncle.

 

[Dark One]

She went all sappy on me so I did exactly what I expected to, went all pussy and made nicey nicey. We'll see what happens - I'll leave NAD's plan in the braintrain caboose as a fallback measure, LOL.

 

[Necromunchkin]

Dill- post them shits.

Dark One- d'oh. Well, back up plan C: See if you can't get a pic of her, and if she pull some shite of that again, text back a pic of yourself blowing a hot load over the pic. Either it will freak her out beyond reprise, or she'll be on you like Juarez crop-picker on a pork rind.

 

[dill_the_devil]

Just gotta convert it to MP3 and upload it. Listening to it again myself at the moment. Holy shit, the rage coming from Jack is palpable.

EDIT: Shit, can't seem to convert the bastard recording, and there's no way I'm uploading a 32 minute, 41 second .WAV. I'll try and figure it all out at some point, maybe just edit together the best bits.