Happy New Year Guys

Yeah, happy fucking new year.
What was it that is my stupid music motto? "Whatever comes through me I will be"? Well, what comes through is a lousy shit for brains who can't keep the promises he makes for himself, who is too introspective, who keeps having delusions, yet not being realistic or logical enough to make himself happy. Amidst that I open myself to people who I partly hate and can't stand, but still call 'a friend'. See the hypocrisy? Bet you don't.
Also verbally abused a person who I consider friendly enough, due to just having taken enough self-abuse. So fuck you all and fuck this life and fuck everything, but still I'm not giving up. Just because I'm stupid/smart enough for it.

I keep making these posts, and I bet they too are all for nothing, but whatever. Helps me, or not. "I cling to a tree in a dream".
 
@TFH: don't be too hard on yourself.. i guess your environment isn't helping. still you have the power to change things.
i hope 2006 makes things better for you and that it'll bring you a true friend *hugs*
 
TheFourthHorseman said:
Amidst that I open myself to people who I partly hate and can't stand, but still call 'a friend'. See the hypocrisy? Bet you don't.
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Oh, I do, I do. Rather than the hypocrisy, I hate the idiocy of that, and the feeling of not having someone close who is really worth the opening up and maybe can be reciprocated. We should start a support group, I am in the same position as you and have found no solutions whatsoever. More often than not, I go out with people I utterly despise, and I am always just five minutes from telling them 'Shut the fuck up, I've had enough of your bullshit". Only, I keep quiet because they're there and I don't want to get into fights all the time.
 
My head aches, I feel kinda empty, but content. Ive just got up, its almost noon, gonna have some lunch and back to bed. But before that, happy new year, DT freaks! :p
 
I hope what I'm going through isn't a phase. I have managed to socially assert myself in recent days, and no matter how bad things are, I'm feeling cheery of spirit. Proper zen. Haven't been truly pissed off in about 3 weeks.

Partied new year in with my friends. Some of which got really drunk, uncharacteristic for them... and I didn't. I liked soberness more than vomit.

Happy new year all you people. New year resolutions anyone? I'm learning violin and going to reassert myself in vajoina.
 
hyena said:
Oh, I do, I do. Rather than the hypocrisy, I hate the idiocy of that, and the feeling of not having someone close who is really worth the opening up and maybe can be reciprocated. We should start a support group, I am in the same position as you and have found no solutions whatsoever. More often than not, I go out with people I utterly despise, and I am always just five minutes from telling them 'Shut the fuck up, I've had enough of your bullshit". Only, I keep quiet because they're there and I don't want to get into fights all the time.
Click to expand...
For a while there i thought i understood wrong, but i guess i didn't. I've been there too. Though i chose to stay alone.
What i want to say is that you shouldn't despair. When you least expect it you might meet a nice person who will become your best friend. I know, cause it happened to me.
 
Siren said:
What i want to say is that you shouldn't despair. When you least expect it you might meet a nice person who will become your best friend
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nice words for a hopefully better 2006.good motto.
anyway we all wanna have big changes in our lives when the new year starts,like love, job, joy, gender, haircolor, weight... but most times these changes come too fast or too slow to realize that they are there. so it all gets worse.like each year, each day ,each second. hope dies last:ill:
 
Siren said:
For a while there i thought i understood wrong, but i guess i didn't. I've been there too. Though i chose to stay alone.
What i want to say is that you shouldn't despair. When you least expect it you might meet a nice person who will become your best friend. I know, cause it happened to me.
Click to expand...

oh, i agree, i met a great person which is still my friend just when i was in a horrible moment when everything i called my social life fell and i saw how fake it was.

it can get better if you keep your mind open (and this not in a silly new age-ish kind of way).
 
Hiljainen said:
it can get better if you keep your mind open (and this not in a silly new age-ish kind of way).
Click to expand...

here's what was missing from this forum. :) so cool to have you back. i know, i already said it in another thread, but the quote needed applause.
 
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