holy shit Omegle is hilarious

[Damian B]

K, this website just lets you chat with a random strangers. It's hilarious!!

http://omegle.com

Here are some conversations I've had:


Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: I want to expell my seed into your rectum as many times as you will allow.
You: well honey baby you can do it all night long!!
You: how many times can you cum?
Stranger: fag
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney
You: OMG MEEE TOOOOO!!!!!
You: WTF!!! Stranger: yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: what's your life story?
Stranger: well
Stranger: when i was just 16
Stranger: i stumbled upon a laboratory in neo-tokyo
You: fascinating...
Stranger: and i hopped on a bike, and i got telekinesis
You: keep going..
Stranger: and then i blew people up
Stranger: and my friend kaneda went
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOO TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: and then this idiot named katsuhiro otomo took my life story and turned it into a goddamn manga
You: harharhar
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: hi :O
You: HEY
You: WHAT'S UP?
Stranger: WHY THE CAPS
Stranger: OMFG
You: I'M SHOUTING
You: DUH
Stranger: EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: HEY
Stranger: howdy ho
You: WHAT'S UP?
Stranger: not much
You: THAT'S COOL
Stranger: you ?
You: SAME HERE
Stranger: caps key stuck?
You: NAHH I USE SHIFT
Stranger: Why ?
You: CUZ
You: IT'S MAKES ME MORE IMPORTANT
You: LOLZZZ
You: YOU SHOULD JOIN ME
Stranger: heh
Stranger: YOU GOT IT
You: ALRIGHT
You: PARTY TIME NOW!!!
Stranger: NOW WE ARE EQUALS
You: YEAH
Stranger: WOO
You: IN THE EYES OF THE LORD
Stranger: OH NO
You: HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT JESUS?
You: HAVE YOU ACCEPTED HIM INTO YOUR HEART?
Stranger: ITS BEEN MENTIONED TO ME
You: WELL, HAVE YOU?
Stranger: I DONT BELIEVE IT
Stranger: JUST A STORY
You: DON'T BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF JESUS CHRIST, YOUR SAVIOR?
Stranger: NEVER MET HIM
You: YOU POOR LOST SHEEP, LET HIM BE YOUR SHEPHERD!
Stranger: ARE YOU SERIOUS ?
You: THE WAY OF THE LORD IS INFINITE AND WONDERFUL!
You: WHAT COULD BE MORE SERIOUS THAN YOUR SALVATION?
Stranger: WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THIS STORY ?
You: DO YOU WANT TO BURN I NTHE FIERY LAKES FOREVER?
Stranger: FEAR ?
You: I KNOW JESUS IS MY SAVIOR!
You: HE HAS SPOKEN TO ME!
Stranger: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
Stranger: YOU HEAR VOICES
?
You: I TALK TO JESUS WHEN I FEAL ALONE!
You: YOU SHOULD TRY!
You: IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO LEAD A JUST LIFE!
Stranger: DOES HE TALK BACK ?
Stranger: THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE
You: HE WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR PRAYERS!!
You: ONLY ONE TRUE WAY MY FRIEND!
You: ALL OTHERS ARE LOST!
Stranger: THATS 3 ABSOLUTES
You: THERE IS ONLY ONE ABSOLUTE, AND THAT'S THAT JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!
You: I WANT TO HELP YOU MY FRIEND!
You: WHY DO YOU NOT BELIEVE?
Stranger: BECAUSE ITS JUST A STORY,
Stranger: ITS FICTION
You: THE WORD OF GOD IS NOT FICTION
Stranger: IT IS
You: IT IS THE WORD
You: THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL WORDS
Stranger: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
You: MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY MAN'S WORD!
Stranger: IS IT WRITTEN IN CAPS TOO ?
You: OPEN YOUR HEART AND YOU WILL SEE!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


etc...

 

[Pedro Teixeira]

Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: \
Stranger: *
You: I'm a professional rapist, you?
Stranger: I'm a professional police, nice to meet u!
You: crap!
You have disconnected.

 

[Chryst Krispies]

You: Helllloooo.
Stranger: hi
You: How's it hanging.
Stranger: well pretty good
Stranger: and how are you hanging ?
You: Low and to the left.
Stranger: ok lets see
Stranger: o i see you now
Stranger: get out of my friends yard
You: How do I get jollies then?
You: Without creeping in yard?
Stranger: jollies ?
You: Ya know. Spread my "seed." All over the ground.

 

[NickL]

I'm using this power to try and get information on the swine flu. So far nobody in Mexico has popped up, but a lot of Europeans have never even heard of it haha

 

[Razzee]

been using it for almost 3 weeks now
strange things happen, don't take anything serious

___________________________

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: boo
You: hai
Stranger: why spell it like that?
You: it sounds german
Stranger: are you german?
You: whaT IF i am?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

______________________________

Stranger: Greetings.
You: hoi
Stranger: Quick check... Are you american?
You: nope
You: going to disconnect if you know where iam from
You:
Stranger: Oh, good. I'm sick of going after them for my taxes.
You: :/
Stranger: Oh, I don't know.
Stranger: They owe us 250 years of back taxes!
You: so you're from?
Stranger: The UK =)
You: hehe
You: german here
Stranger: Shit!
Stranger: *mans the air defences*
You: haha
Stranger: You'll not take us!
You: you have no chance!
Stranger: We're working on ressurecting Winston Churchill.
You: we'll dominate you!
Stranger: Beat THAT.
You: hitler was never dead
Stranger: Hm. Operation Sealion just postponed, eh?
Stranger: Well, tell you wa
Stranger: *What
You: ?
Stranger: You take france. Honestly, we don't want it.
You: what? you think we want it?
You: no wai
Stranger: Damn.

________________

You: hi
Stranger: HELLO THERE COMRAD
Stranger: VOULD YOU LIKE A SANDVICH?
You: you're the engineer from tf2?
Stranger: NO I AM HEAVY
You: em
You: sry
You: I meant that
Stranger: VHAT
Stranger: THIS IS GOOD SANDVICH, OMNOMNOM NOM
You: that you are the heavy
Stranger: YES I AM
You: gettin pawned by scouts lately?
Stranger: I JUST SAID SO SILLY BABY
Stranger: YES I CRUSHED SOME BABY SKULLS YESTERDAY
You: feeling overpowered?
Stranger: VAIT, ARE YOU FROM RED TEAM?
You: nope
You: medic
Stranger: BUT THEN VHY IS YOUR NAME IN RED
Stranger: ARE YOU SPY?!
You: yours is red!
You: mine is blue
Stranger: VHAT?! NO ITS NOT!
Stranger: I AM NOT SPY
Stranger: I AM HEAVY
You: IT IS DUMPFBACKE
Stranger: GET BEHIND ME DOCTOR SO WE CAN GET THE INTEL!
You: roger
You: verstanden!
Stranger: UBER ME DOCTOR!
You: not yet ready!
Stranger: VAIT FOR IT!
You: ja!

_____________________________

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: PWNED.
You: rick rolled
Stranger: Never gonna give you up.
You: Never gonna let you down!

________________________

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *sigh*
Stranger: ~~~
You: just follow the instruction
You: and say "hi"!^^
Stranger: Greetings!
You: heeello
Stranger: I am the one horseman of the Apocalypse.
Stranger: I'm a Death Night Rider! Muh ha ha ha
You: the 7 year old girl next door is scarier that you
You: poor poor performance man
Stranger: ……
Stranger: Feel my rath!
You: sounds like youve got no teeth
You: eel my raaath

_____________________________

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: .hey
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i am jesus and i wake up from the dead tomorrow
You: so?
Stranger: who are you?
You: you arent dead yet?
You: judas
Stranger: not anymore i am bored in my cave
Stranger: waiting for tomorrow
You: ah
You: I see
Stranger: and you put me in the cave judas
You: so what can I do to prevent that?
Stranger: you can move the stone in front of the cave
You: it is already....
Stranger: that i can escape
Stranger: ohh really
Stranger: let me see
You: what?
You: no
Stranger: no there is a large stone
Stranger: i cant escape
You: I don't want you to get free
Stranger: why
You: what can I do agaomst that?
Stranger: i am jesus everybody likes be except allah
You: what do you think?
Stranger: you can put another stone in front of the cave
You: what do you think why have I betrayed you?
You: I'll do that
Stranger: because i fucked your girlfriend
Stranger: ....twice
You: so when are you trying to get free?
You: what? you did?
Stranger: yes
You: damn
Stranger: i thought you know?
Stranger:
You: I didn't
Stranger: but thats fine we can do what ever we want to
Stranger: because god forgives everything
Stranger: thats the good thing to be a christian
You: so I can kill you twice?
Stranger: no
Stranger: mh
Stranger: yes
You: why not?
Stranger: today
Stranger: and tomorrow
Stranger: but you have to hurry
You: so where will we meet?
Stranger: judas?
You: yes?
Stranger: can i choose how to die?
You: sure
You: but dont get artistic
Stranger: whats option 1
You: you name it
Stranger: k
You: I'll get an big stone hammer for option 2
Stranger: i want you to build a big pyramid made of plastic
Stranger: and i want to be inside
Stranger: then you put the pyramid in water
Stranger: and everytime i breath
Stranger: the pyramide is sinking
You: whats plastic?
Stranger: more and more
Stranger: until i drown
Stranger: plastic.......its.....
Stranger: ....touch the titts of your girlfriend
You: dude don't fool me
You: everybody knows that you can walk on water...
Stranger: : D
Stranger: damn
You: you're quite a son of god
Stranger: yes
Stranger: you ever met my sister?
You: no
Stranger: judas
You: but I would love to!
Stranger: i want to forgive you
Stranger: because i am jesus
Stranger: and you can have my sister
You: you already had
Stranger: yes
Stranger: she is .... a bit used
Stranger: worn out
You: but I'll take her as long as shes pretty
Stranger: but still a "woman"
Stranger: well...
You: damn, sonds like I do not want
Stranger: the won the contest of the pigs 2004
Stranger: *she
You: and thats the daughter of a god?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: she took all the bad things of the world of all women
You: I think you're lying
Stranger: thats why she looks like that
You: hrm
Stranger: (ok not of all everybody knows that)
You: just that?
Stranger: but when you kiss her
Stranger: she will become harry potter
You: whos harry potter?
Stranger: harry potter is my future brother
You: oh
You: I see
You: so who will kill him?
You: Will I still be around?
You: I would like to
Stranger: sure
Stranger: you can kill me twice
You: cool
Stranger: and when you kiss my sister you can kill him as well
You: and your brother?
You: I do not want
You: damn you jesus!
Stranger: dont talk to me like that
You: so why did you like cock?
Stranger: or i put out my mobile phone and call my father
Stranger: i bet you still use your hands and knee down to talk to him
Stranger: hahaha you fool
You: I mean there must be a reason to take 12 guys with you every step
You: I'm just curious why I never seen it happening
Stranger: ok its true
Stranger: i take them with me
Stranger: and then the women are alone
Stranger: and my best friend
You: god?
Stranger: is banging them
You: or your sister?
Stranger: no my best friend
Stranger: his name is bush
You: is god or your siser?
Stranger: george bush
You: never heard of him
Stranger: well
Stranger: thats strange
You: why?
You: should I?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: he is the gaylord nr.1
Stranger: i thought you know everyone that is gay
You: I know no gaylords
You: but seems like you do
Stranger: ah sorry i made a misstake
Stranger: it was your father
You: who?
You: thats down with all the women?
Stranger: who knows every gaylord
Stranger: look judas
You: jesus does
Stranger: i am the biggest player in the world
Stranger: i am jesus!
Stranger: half of all women are praying to me
You: and you can buy what from that?
Stranger: what about you?
You: you are dead
Stranger: maybe 2?
Stranger: tomorrow is different
You: I will be in the history books of the one who hunted you down
Stranger: everyone is celebrating and i fuck all of them
You: the much much more will pray to me than you
Stranger: mh
Stranger: i think we need a duel
You: so you don't remember I will kill you again today?
Stranger: k
Stranger: i wait for you
Stranger: naked
You: I'll bring a cross
You: it worked one time
Stranger: and nails
You: should work another one
Stranger: but this time a bit smaller please
You: sure
You: why?
Stranger: and rust free
You: you already got that marks
You: ill take bigger
You: so you cant escape
Stranger: noooooo
You: dont try to fool me
Stranger: you can use ropes this time
You: we did use ropes the first time
You: you use ropes on every crucification
Stranger: k
Stranger: listen judas
Stranger: you take a cross
You: you were passed out...
You: ok
You: stay where you are
Stranger: and i will fight you with my deep trust in god
You: I'm coming for you
Stranger: k
You: see you there!
Stranger: i have to hide
Stranger: bye
You: dont hide
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

__________________________________

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: .hi
Stranger: well hey
You: asl?
Stranger: 40 m quahog
You: lol
You: name peter?
Stranger: how did you know????????

________________________________

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: .hi
Stranger: haai
You: asl?
Stranger: what?
You: age/sex/land
You:
You: 21/m/ger
Stranger: 17,yes,holland
Stranger: you?
You: as aboce
Stranger: female
You: *above
Stranger: i see
Stranger: i'm not fucking stupid
You: I live 20km away from the boarder
Stranger: waht the hell are you thinking?
Stranger: homo
Stranger: gaylord
You: thought you missed it
Stranger: no fucing
Stranger: fucking
Stranger: but
Stranger: i still love you
Stranger: do you want sex with me?