I had to euthanize my dog

[Bacchante]

The most animal lovers I know are on this forum, and I want to share this with you. I know many of you have gone through this recently, and I figure this will mean something to somebody. It's a story about a life. It's long. If you don't want to read it, then by all means, don't. I spent the last several hours writing this, and everything just poured out. I meant everything I said.
Please share your stories with me, too.
I feel like my soul has been torn apart and scattered. I'll be listening to a lot of Nevermore during the next few months.

Here's the link:

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=6887541&blogId=525697231

I still can't express how much I loved her. Words fail me every time.
This was the day that replayed over and over in my nightmares.
I'll keep our memories in the special place in my heart.

Goodbye, my Penny
4/1/1994 - 1/12/2010

 

[Chipmonkcheeks]

This happened to us not to long ago as well to our old boxer. Hope you start feeling better soon and stop thinking of the bad bits and only the good memories

 

[El Stormo]

I've read the entire story, and there's nothing I can say that might possibly help, so all I can do is wish you all the strength you need. You've had great years together and shared wonderful moments, and that must count for something, right?

 

[Dead_Lioness]

Oh no Lesa
I am so sorry babe... what a shitty thing to go through. I wish dogs could live to be a 100..
Be strong, and remember how loved and happy she was!

 

[Pure_evul]

Well, all I can say is that at least your dog lived a great life filled with love, care and the warmth of a house. Moreover, she passed away with her best friend by her side, certain that she was never alone. If you could talk to her, I am sure she would have no complaints and would thank you for everything you have done, just as you feel thankful towards her for everything she was. I know it's a huge burden for you, I too have been in your position, but at least try to feel optimistic about her life, since death is inevitable.

 

[azal]

so freakin cute

stay strong

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

Sorry for your loss, Lesa. She seemed like a very special dog. It reminds me all too much of my Bruce. This May will be 3 years, and I still miss him so much.

 

[Lordlucid]

I'm sorry to hear that Lesa Poor lil' Pennpenn. She had a good life with her master though. Her pain is gone and thats all that matters now. Penny was always a joy to have around and play with. She had a very unique personallity and I'll never forget all the fun I had with her. Like tossing her around at the lake or watching her demolish tennis balls, sometimes with almost surgical precision. She was a great puppy. May she rest in peace now.

 

[buzz21]

I know a lot of people that don't share these types of bonds just don't understand the pain, but it is real - stay strong.

 

[~Lynn~]

it just flat out sucks.

 

[Shpongled]

Much love Lesa. I don't really know what else to say. You two were very lucky to have each other

 

[Super Mahrio]

Lesa. I totally know how it feels to do that. Omg, its the fucking worst feeling in the world. Especially with a dog whos been your friend for so long. D:

*Big bear hugs*

 

[Bacchante]

Thank you for your kind words, everybody. Talking/being with people is keeping me in a safe place. I'm so glad I'm not alone right now. I have hundreds of amazing memories with my doggie, and they're all sort of cycling through my head. It's like every time I close my eyes for a minute, they all flood in. I was just thinking about the first time we took her to the beach.

*Justin, it was SO funny when we were tossing her off the raft into the lake to fetch her toy. She LOVED doing that! She used to jump off the rocks at the ocean to go catch her ball in the water! haha*

I'm going to Healdsburg today to have lunch and watch Yuppies...or something. Maybe I'll drive down to Bohemian Grove and try to sneak in. I dunno, I need to constantly be doing something today. The shock is wearing off, and reality is starting to seep in. I really want to start designing the pawprint tattoo, and I also had an image from The Learning/Sentient 6 pop into my head. I'll try to draw it and keep myself occupied.

Thank you everybody. I really love you guys

 

[Iris]

Sending you my hugs and thoughts.
Stay strong, Lesa.

 

[Nightshade]

I'm so sorry, Lesa! I did much the same thing as you when Vern died -- I wrote everything down that I could remember. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me. I read your whole blog. It is beautiful. The thing that helped me the most was a random post by someone else who'd gone through something similar. It was a "letter" she wrote to herself from her beloved pet. In it, she reminded herself that while a pet's life is far too short by our standards, their life with us is perfect: you were there for her, for her whole life. You were there by her side as a baby, through her life, and at the end. It's all she could have ever wanted or asked of you. I hope it helps you to remember that, regardless of the incredible loss you feel, she never felt anything but your undying love and support... for her whole life. As much as she meant to you, you meant all that to her and more, and you never let her down. You never left her. She never felt the loss of you. It is a precious gift that our pets give us, and they show us that they feel it is an equally precious gift that we give them.

Bright Blessings to you, Lesa. *e-hugs*