I have decided to do standup comedy

[Lies and Perfidy]

I thank/blame Bill Hicks, God rest his soul.

Now all I need is material. So far I have three bits–"new country music sucks," "the time a naked guy crawled into my bed," and "my job at the Pita Pit is a soul-sucking nightmare and I am surrounded by yuppie scum." What else do I hate?

 

[lizard]

Oprah

 

[Chromatose]

Bill Hicks was the greatest man there ever was and ever will be.

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

Oprah

IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF CELEBS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO SQUEEZE IN A JOKE ABOUT MICHEAL JACKSON

 

[Will Bozarth]

man, you must record anything you do and send it to me. and i am dead serious.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

dude, do it

 

[deathstrike from hell]

hey rueben, what does michael jackson and caviar have in common?






they both only come on little white crackers \m/

 

[Chromatose]

I ate caviar on a rye cracker a few weeks ago tbh

 

[deathstrike from hell]

hahahaha. yuck.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

It's weird, I hate caviar, but I love fish roe sushi.

That's not going to be part of my act, by the way, because it's not funny. Instead, I'll do a bit on idiotic observational comics who think people care that the airline lost their luggage, ho ho ho, airlines losing luggage, isn't that wacky, CHOKE AND DIE YOU BANAL DIPSHITS.

I'm going to get my ASS kicked.

 

[El Stormo]

http://www.bassiciammazza.net/simpsons/mcbain.asf

 

[ms. anthrope]

get 'em, killer!

 

[El Stormo]

Ay el McBain Español!

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

DON'T THINK ANYONE WILL CARE BUT...
DRAWN TOGETHER HAS ALSO BEEN TRANSLATED INTO SPANISH

 

[Lunar Still]

Maynard told a bunch of Michael Jackson jokes when APC played here back in '03...it was quite amusing.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

Acne waits until puberty to come all over your face.

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

Acne waits until puberty to come all over your face.

 

[AALLGOD]

Hmm, I miss Rodney and Mitch... too bad they are both dead.

I like the one-line guys best.

 

[NinjaKitten]

Whats Micheal Jacksons favorite things about twenty-four year olds?
Theres twenty of them!