In light of the recent Opeth lyrics thread.. Is this poem of mine good/bad?

[mindflesh]

I like your poem, especially the second paragraph. Lines 5-7 and the third paragraph could probably flow better. Anyway, nice work!

 

[demon talented]

Originally posted by Fervisson
Well I'd get angry if there was reason for anger, but there's not so..

I see what you mean now about the Opeth presence in it though. It has a Still Life-ish feel, when the character is returning to the village, etc.

That wasn't intentional though. I've never tried to make anything I've written sound like anything but something I'M writing.

I would never try to imitate Opeth lyrics. If I wanted Opeth-like lyrics, I'd read Opeth's lyrics, ya know?

Yes, I completely understand. You can't help but do it sometimes. I'm just saying, it's not impossible for you to edit it and make it slightly more "personal" stylistically.

If you can do it, it's a lot more rewarding. I know.