MOST PEOPLE IN BAGHDAD DON'T LEAVE THEIR HOUSES at night. They don't rent movies. They don't go to bars. Mostly, they sit huddled in dingy shacks and wait and watch and hope that the occupying army will lift its curfew and everything will become safe enough for them to go outside one day. Fat chance.
It'd be nice to nip out without the fear of being blown to bits, but it's just not possible. Thinking of meeting up with chums for a movie and a pizza to briefly lift the ever-present fear of sudden death? Forget it, buddy. Nightlife in Baghdad fucking sucks just as much as it did before Shock and Awe. The only people on the streets after dark are Glock-toting maniacs out to rape, rob, and kill whatever they can. Get that? EVERYBODY on the streets at night, including the old-age pensioners, is packing heat and looking to unload clips into your face. Like, "You got a fresh bottle of water in your pocket, bitch? Blam! Blam! Blam!" "How about that dog pissing in the alleyway? Blam! Blam! It's suppertime!" They are shooting and killing and eating the dogs made homeless by the bombings.
Because everybody's being woken up at 3:30 a.m. by the cracking sound of gunfire and sobbing American soldiers attempting to hang themselves from every available broken lamppost, there's an inescapable feeling of terror and doom everywhere. It makes the end battle scene of the last Lord of the Rings look like a rehearsal of the original line-up of the Bee Gees.
No wonder then, there's an emerging group of young Iraqis who're expressing their pain, hatred, and sorrow by playing in an underground Baghdad metal scene that nobody thought existed until now.
Bands like A.Crassicauda (scientifico for black scorpion), pictured here, are one of a small number of hate-fueled groups influenced by Western devil-worshippers like Slayer, Dimmu Borgir, and Mayhem (three of the most popular groups in the Iraqi metal world).
Before Saddam was toppled courtesy of The Red, White, and Blue, most young people had their music brutally censored by the murderous pedophile Uday Hussein, who banned just about all genres of punk and metal (death, gore, speed, black metal, and power electronics were particularly frowned upon).
The airwaves were filled with traditional Islamic wailing songs as well as Dannii Minogue and Shania Twain. That sort of shit sounds great if you're getting fellated by five teenage girls at your father's palace in a bathtub full of calf's milk, but if you're poor and young and scared of wearing a Metallica shirt for fear of being beaten by the military police, it just sounds scary.
If you want to hear A.Crassicauda or any of their ilk, don't bother going on the internet or pestering the guy at your local record store. You have to slip down Kerada Street in eastern Baghdad at sunset to their shabby practice room that smells like if a kebab shop owner shat in your face.
The double-bass-drumming, cymbal crashes, and chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-waaahing of four Iraqi kids raised on bootleg cassette tapes and glitchy MP3s of the last 30 years of heavy metal sound so different from the everyday Baghdad musical diet of prayer calls and Arab techno that, mixed together, they're like your worst-ever ketamine overdose at a fetish party you shouldn't have been at anyway.
Made up of four intelligent kids who work as journalists and translators, A.Crassicauda sing about pain, death, and destructionoccasionally getting political, but never enough to have risked intrusion from Ba'athist political police. To define their sound, they plugged traditional Iraqi instruments into distortion pedals and used broken-down TVs as pre-amps for some songs. You guessed it. It sounds like hell. Just like proper metal should, right?
No one in the band flinched when the first U.S. bomb dropped on Baghdad, but staying alive took precedence over band practice. This meant their plans to get signed to a big Western record label and tour with the Ozzfest (yes, that's their goal) were put on hold for a few days while they figured out whether or not the band had "broken up" due to death or mutilation. It was of great relief to the Baghdad metal scene that everybody in the group was okay, and after a few weeks, A.Crassicauda were back to their old routine of screaming and soloing and wearing tight black jeans and white Reebok basketball shoes with the laces pulled too tight.
"The war made it difficult, but we got back to practicing as soon as we could," says singer Waleed "Blood Master" Rabiaa. "We needed the music, because if we didn't play it we'd all go insane." Drummer Marwan agrees. "We would hear boom boom outside, and it just got to be so much that we wanted to make that noise back," he says, thumping the bass drum emphatically.
Waleed smiles. "Now we are," he says.
When I visited A.Crassicauda at practice they were bickering like any other bandhuge egos in bloom in a tiny glass front shop with eggshell foam taped to the walls to (ineffectively) muffle the sound. The air was so thick with dust and smoke that I could hardly breathe. Graffiti was scratched on the walls and a solitary flyer for a prewar metal show was the only evidence in the whole city that a metal scene even existed.
Because the music they played me was so completely fucking bananas and deafeningly loud, it was easy to forget the frightening instability of the broken city outside and briefly imagine that I was in somebody's basement back at home in the States. That feeling didn't last long, though. Once I was back on the streets, I was so scared of everything around me I almost wet my pants.
Daily life in Baghdad is no longer about dodging Saddam's flunkies. At least they kept a kind of jackbooted order. These days it's about dodging myriad unknowns. Failing water, failing power, tangled traffic, huge gas lines, unchecked crime, unemployment, and old grudges have sprung open a trapdoor of terror and chaos and confusion and misery that nobody, least of all the fucking kids in the underground metal scene, knows how to control.
The disgusting, lawless human behavior all around has had the same effect on A.Crassicauda that it did on almost everyone else in Iraq. It sucked out the hope of their hearts and forced them to accept the fact that they could face death at any second.
The result? The band's music became even more hate-filled and intense and fucked than ever before.
Waleed says the moment he lost faith in his country was when he saw a drunk Iraqi mow down his own sister with an assault rifle in broad daylight. No one who watched the scene flinched. "When I saw that happen, I just thought to myself, Damn, we're in a jungle.'"
In the last eight months, despite the curfew, the four members of A.Crassicauda have kept on going to practice every night. This is why they are all more "metal" than anyone you will ever know. And not in the "Blackie Lawless is the World's Fifth Biggest Badass" VH-1 documentary way, you idiot. In a real, sustained, HOLLEEE SHIITTT METAL way. The music they played me was so ugly and doomed it made all those face-painted Norwegian black-metal fags who burn down old ladies' churches seem scary as warm chocolate milk.
While most Western metal bands lose sleep over hair loss, shelling out for new speaker cones and wondering how to pay for Viagra, these kids have had to make real sacrifices for their bandlike going to practice with a hand gun stuffed down the front of their pants. This isn't just because good amps and equipment are a choice find for Baghdadi looters, it's because Marwan's job as a U.S. Army translator has put him on a Fedayeen "guys we're gonna kill" list.
Now he totes a 9mm Tareq with him everywhere he goes. When I tell him that the only other guy I know who does that is the Nuge and ask if he thinks practicing in a blind alley is really a good idea, he doesn't seem to care. "When they start booking bands again we really want to put on a show and we can't suck, so we have to be ready," he tells me.
"I'm not really worried about anyone trying to kill us while we're at practice," Waleed adds, in between drags off foul-smelling, beetle-dung Iraqi cigarettes. "What better way to go out than playing fucking music, man?"
Presently, A.Crassicauda are pooling their money to record demos and figuring out a plan to escape Baghdad and tour the world. Order has to come back to Iraq first, though. Then, and only then, can they start courting A&R guys.
"Metal is worldwide, man," Waleed says with wicked smile on his face. "Just look at these guys." He's waving a Dimmu Borgir CD in my face. "I'd really love to tour and play our music for audiences and see how they'd react. What do you think our chances are?"
I smile and give him the same bullshit answer that I've learned to give any talented young band starting outsome tongue-twister pabulum about the need to work hard and keep trying. I don't want to let even an ounce of doubt come out of my mouth. But Waleed doesn't care. He's got to get back to practice and he doesn't want to head home too late after dark tonight.
ANDY MOORE
Your email:
Their email:
Comments:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: we still rocking ?!?!?!?
Date: Mar 25 2004 03:10:17 AM
Author: the blood master
hay guys ....
i'd like to confierm that we're all ok and doing fine as matter of fact i was near that boom ,thanx for concern sandman,but the thing is i'm find ,but i don't know for how long i''ll be to be honest ,cuz this is my job i cover the news ,and you know breaking news like a boom ,is something i have to go to ,and baghdad in general is a fucked place by now ,not as it used to be B4 ,but it'll be fine ,i'm writing a song now about what happened in khadhemyha and karbalha the shrine thing ,as well as another one about ???
or i'll leave that later ..
but i'd like to thank all the people whom they're giving their support ,it's really usefull and great ,i'm sure it'll be a time when we're going to do the same and not let you down .
at the end i thank kanu and matt and all the others for their good words about the band .
last word for you all keep your minds pure from ??????????????????
i think you can get it ,i don't have to mention.
we are every where????
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Subject: bombing at hotel in karrada district
Date: Mar 17 2004 07:55:57 PM
Author: sandman
this is near where the bloodmaster himself and company played their last show, so.. let's hear a shout to know none of them were near it when it happened.
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Subject: awesome kids
Date: Mar 17 2004 06:32:33 PM
Author: kanu
they kick ass, man, although i haven't heard them play. i mean, would any of you losers be able to write lyrics if you were in a situation like that, or even think, or remember your name? no fucken way, you'd run home to your momma crying like a scared lil baby.
they may be angry and fucked, but you know why that is. they didn't just become like that outta nowhere. america did this, saddam did this, every fucken capitalist did this.
good luck to you guys, waleed and the others in the band. you guys are brave young men. see ya someday at your concert ;-)
hey maybe you should write an anti-bush song?? that'd be awesome
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Subject: yeaaaaa gooo metal
Date: Mar 14 2004 08:29:22 PM
Author: matt
hey waleed,you have me to blame if you get random emails from iraqi metal heads. but maybe that's a good thing. i saw you on tv last year and hunted down your email address... hope you've made some good contacts
btw, what's up with hamsa, aisha, haider and saif? talk to them at all? they ok?
dragnink
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Subject: here we r
Date: Mar 13 2004 02:01:10 PM
Author: the blood master
???????????????????????
i think this how i should start what i'm intending to write ,cuz it's pretty shoking and amazing plus a bit sad at the same tie first i have to say i didn't get the chance to read the artical, but in fact i read almost all the comments ,and i wonna have the chance to say somthing ,it's really cool to find that lots of people r reading and knwing about you after a very long time living in a dark cave ,although i think that there's lots of guy don't seem t understand few things ,1st it music and it's metal ,means it's not any kind of music ,it's the glory and the best thing that humanty ever knew so far this is what i think plus for the person who said isn't it enough that we stole your money and whatever and now we wonna take over your music, i say ( we did not ask your people or government to come and innvade r country and be the super hero of 21 century ??
just put this in mind and you'll understand ,plus the excuse your government were claiming that it's enough to invaide r country ( WMD) you know it's a fgucking big bullshit lie or whatever they couldn''t prove not even a simple thing yet ??
till then ,it's your government you should blame for spending your money to kill other people and your people same time ...
i think this is enough talking about that!!!
guys i really wonna write all what i have inside just to let all the people shar this feelings ,but the thing is i'm working so bad ,but the thing was stronges
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Subject: Hope
Date: Mar 03 2004 09:56:05 PM
Author: iraqi_guy
A.crassicauda! One day you guys gonna shake hands with slayer, Black Sabbath and AC/DC.
If you guys don't make it to OZZFEST 2004, then you can make it to OZZFEST 2005. Keep practicing and always look at the bright side of this world (i know it's fucked up at the moment), but wait and hope till you guys gonna be the Kings of Metal and your dreams will come true.
All the Best to you guys and to the great people of Iraq.
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Subject: ......Baghdad's Hardest
Date: Feb 28 2004 06:22:15 PM
Author: Troy
Baghdad today, as seen by the Iraqi:
http://messopotamian.blogspot.com/
http://iraqataglance.blogspot.com/
http://healingiraq.blogspot.com/
http://www.iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/
http://hammorabi.blogspot.com/
Live Baghdad Cam:
About halfway down on the right side of the FoxNews website is a live webcamera with a view of the square where the Saddam statue was torn down, Baghdad's al-Firdos (Paradise) Square. http://www.foxnews.com/
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Subject: damn, that's tough
Date: Feb 25 2004 01:20:11 PM
Author: kashe
i guess with a life like that how can you help but be extremely hardcore metal?
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Subject: Huge Explosion Rocks Bagdad
Date: Feb 24 2004 01:29:20 PM
Author: Dirthead
they shoulda called themselves Huge Explosion or maybe Car Bomb or something...You get the joke
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Subject: BLACK FUCKING METAL
Date: Feb 23 2004 10:24:56 PM
Author: Killer of Pooftah Journalists
Black Metal FAGS??!! Fuck off you ass-licking cum-sucker. Buy it, rent it, steal it, but for fuck's sake GET SOME TASTE and learn how to fucking write. Asshole.
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Subject: Yay!
Date: Feb 23 2004 04:50:09 PM
Author: Hurray!
Metal sucks, but guess what.. this article actually was decent and made a point. For once Vice has a good article..
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Subject: meta-miracle
Date: Feb 23 2004 05:37:02 AM
Author: gok
well fuck me jesus!
someone wrote an article!
about something but himself!
or his hairdo!
okay now I wanna hear them?????
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Subject: Remeber to give J. Lee c/o Blind credit
Date: Feb 22 2004 06:56:48 PM
Author: SevenAteSix
for the title....
eye opening article.
good job.
Peace
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Subject: ha ha
Date: Feb 22 2004 03:22:41 PM
Author: Abadona
SHit I rember the same censor ship in russia. Altho, I am currius to listent to this band, as any other. I am shure it will not be good yet.... It dose not mater where you are from in my book, or wether you live in shity connditions. If you rule you rule if u suck you do....
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Subject: holy shit
Date: Feb 20 2004 01:13:52 PM
Author: metal label
I run a small label and want to sign these guys immediately. I dont even need to hear em. How do I get in touch with them?
I'm serious.
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Subject: die
Date: Feb 20 2004 11:34:33 AM
Author: Girth
piss poor article. learn how to write. better yet, just hang yourself from the nearest broken lamppost.
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Subject: it
Date: Feb 19 2004 02:13:25 PM
Author: another one
http://www.reason.com/hitandrun/001015.shtml
this one has an actual posting from the bloodmaster!!!
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Subject: for it
Date: Feb 19 2004 02:12:52 PM
Author: link
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thes
tar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1074986108184
&call_pageid=1038394944805&col=1038394944443
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Subject: gy
Date: Feb 19 2004 12:29:51 AM
Author: The Black
GIDEON YAGO (thumbs up icon)
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Subject: ha ha
Date: Feb 18 2004 08:18:22 PM
Author: Philbert
is this where beavis and butthead were dropped off or what?
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Subject: fuck that!
Date: Feb 17 2004 03:22:49 PM
Author: some guy
It's not enough that they're costing our nation millions of dollars in "liberation" fees they're gotta steal our trailer-trash music too? Enough is enough. Get back in there Bush!
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Subject: Hey Burry
Date: Feb 17 2004 02:23:42 PM
Author: Morpee us
that looks like the falafel selling dude across the street from my upscale jew crib.
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Subject: fucking hell.
Date: Feb 17 2004 04:39:23 AM
Author: literati
finally an actual article in this rickety crack house of a magazine. good work bitches. now how about an article on pakistani drone bands?
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Subject: speechless...
Date: Feb 17 2004 12:06:45 AM
Author: D-Tech
I feel like beating up Dave Matthews after reading this...
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Subject: article
Date: Feb 16 2004 05:55:53 PM
Author: nice
sheesh
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Subject: dead
Date: Feb 16 2004 04:17:07 PM
Author: euronymous
Cheers Andy, that was the first decent article that I've read in this piece of shit.
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Subject: Huh?
Date: Feb 16 2004 10:42:17 AM
Author: Dignan
They were forced to listen to Dani Minoge and Shania? Those evil fucking BASTARDS!!!! No human should suffer so much.
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Subject: the
Date: Feb 16 2004 06:58:54 AM
Author: bomb
Punk. As. Fuck.
How did you get into Baghdad?
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Subject: Metal
Date: Feb 16 2004 04:53:25 AM
Author: 39
Black metal-loving Iraqis kick ass.
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Subject: sweet
Date: Feb 15 2004 07:04:36 PM
Author: Metal
Keep fighting the metal fight, everyone deserves to shred the guitar and scream as loud as they want.
It'd be nice to nip out without the fear of being blown to bits, but it's just not possible. Thinking of meeting up with chums for a movie and a pizza to briefly lift the ever-present fear of sudden death? Forget it, buddy. Nightlife in Baghdad fucking sucks just as much as it did before Shock and Awe. The only people on the streets after dark are Glock-toting maniacs out to rape, rob, and kill whatever they can. Get that? EVERYBODY on the streets at night, including the old-age pensioners, is packing heat and looking to unload clips into your face. Like, "You got a fresh bottle of water in your pocket, bitch? Blam! Blam! Blam!" "How about that dog pissing in the alleyway? Blam! Blam! It's suppertime!" They are shooting and killing and eating the dogs made homeless by the bombings.
Because everybody's being woken up at 3:30 a.m. by the cracking sound of gunfire and sobbing American soldiers attempting to hang themselves from every available broken lamppost, there's an inescapable feeling of terror and doom everywhere. It makes the end battle scene of the last Lord of the Rings look like a rehearsal of the original line-up of the Bee Gees.
No wonder then, there's an emerging group of young Iraqis who're expressing their pain, hatred, and sorrow by playing in an underground Baghdad metal scene that nobody thought existed until now.
Bands like A.Crassicauda (scientifico for black scorpion), pictured here, are one of a small number of hate-fueled groups influenced by Western devil-worshippers like Slayer, Dimmu Borgir, and Mayhem (three of the most popular groups in the Iraqi metal world).
Before Saddam was toppled courtesy of The Red, White, and Blue, most young people had their music brutally censored by the murderous pedophile Uday Hussein, who banned just about all genres of punk and metal (death, gore, speed, black metal, and power electronics were particularly frowned upon).
The airwaves were filled with traditional Islamic wailing songs as well as Dannii Minogue and Shania Twain. That sort of shit sounds great if you're getting fellated by five teenage girls at your father's palace in a bathtub full of calf's milk, but if you're poor and young and scared of wearing a Metallica shirt for fear of being beaten by the military police, it just sounds scary.
If you want to hear A.Crassicauda or any of their ilk, don't bother going on the internet or pestering the guy at your local record store. You have to slip down Kerada Street in eastern Baghdad at sunset to their shabby practice room that smells like if a kebab shop owner shat in your face.
The double-bass-drumming, cymbal crashes, and chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-waaahing of four Iraqi kids raised on bootleg cassette tapes and glitchy MP3s of the last 30 years of heavy metal sound so different from the everyday Baghdad musical diet of prayer calls and Arab techno that, mixed together, they're like your worst-ever ketamine overdose at a fetish party you shouldn't have been at anyway.
Made up of four intelligent kids who work as journalists and translators, A.Crassicauda sing about pain, death, and destructionoccasionally getting political, but never enough to have risked intrusion from Ba'athist political police. To define their sound, they plugged traditional Iraqi instruments into distortion pedals and used broken-down TVs as pre-amps for some songs. You guessed it. It sounds like hell. Just like proper metal should, right?
No one in the band flinched when the first U.S. bomb dropped on Baghdad, but staying alive took precedence over band practice. This meant their plans to get signed to a big Western record label and tour with the Ozzfest (yes, that's their goal) were put on hold for a few days while they figured out whether or not the band had "broken up" due to death or mutilation. It was of great relief to the Baghdad metal scene that everybody in the group was okay, and after a few weeks, A.Crassicauda were back to their old routine of screaming and soloing and wearing tight black jeans and white Reebok basketball shoes with the laces pulled too tight.
"The war made it difficult, but we got back to practicing as soon as we could," says singer Waleed "Blood Master" Rabiaa. "We needed the music, because if we didn't play it we'd all go insane." Drummer Marwan agrees. "We would hear boom boom outside, and it just got to be so much that we wanted to make that noise back," he says, thumping the bass drum emphatically.
Waleed smiles. "Now we are," he says.
When I visited A.Crassicauda at practice they were bickering like any other bandhuge egos in bloom in a tiny glass front shop with eggshell foam taped to the walls to (ineffectively) muffle the sound. The air was so thick with dust and smoke that I could hardly breathe. Graffiti was scratched on the walls and a solitary flyer for a prewar metal show was the only evidence in the whole city that a metal scene even existed.
Because the music they played me was so completely fucking bananas and deafeningly loud, it was easy to forget the frightening instability of the broken city outside and briefly imagine that I was in somebody's basement back at home in the States. That feeling didn't last long, though. Once I was back on the streets, I was so scared of everything around me I almost wet my pants.
Daily life in Baghdad is no longer about dodging Saddam's flunkies. At least they kept a kind of jackbooted order. These days it's about dodging myriad unknowns. Failing water, failing power, tangled traffic, huge gas lines, unchecked crime, unemployment, and old grudges have sprung open a trapdoor of terror and chaos and confusion and misery that nobody, least of all the fucking kids in the underground metal scene, knows how to control.
The disgusting, lawless human behavior all around has had the same effect on A.Crassicauda that it did on almost everyone else in Iraq. It sucked out the hope of their hearts and forced them to accept the fact that they could face death at any second.
The result? The band's music became even more hate-filled and intense and fucked than ever before.
Waleed says the moment he lost faith in his country was when he saw a drunk Iraqi mow down his own sister with an assault rifle in broad daylight. No one who watched the scene flinched. "When I saw that happen, I just thought to myself, Damn, we're in a jungle.'"
In the last eight months, despite the curfew, the four members of A.Crassicauda have kept on going to practice every night. This is why they are all more "metal" than anyone you will ever know. And not in the "Blackie Lawless is the World's Fifth Biggest Badass" VH-1 documentary way, you idiot. In a real, sustained, HOLLEEE SHIITTT METAL way. The music they played me was so ugly and doomed it made all those face-painted Norwegian black-metal fags who burn down old ladies' churches seem scary as warm chocolate milk.
While most Western metal bands lose sleep over hair loss, shelling out for new speaker cones and wondering how to pay for Viagra, these kids have had to make real sacrifices for their bandlike going to practice with a hand gun stuffed down the front of their pants. This isn't just because good amps and equipment are a choice find for Baghdadi looters, it's because Marwan's job as a U.S. Army translator has put him on a Fedayeen "guys we're gonna kill" list.
Now he totes a 9mm Tareq with him everywhere he goes. When I tell him that the only other guy I know who does that is the Nuge and ask if he thinks practicing in a blind alley is really a good idea, he doesn't seem to care. "When they start booking bands again we really want to put on a show and we can't suck, so we have to be ready," he tells me.
"I'm not really worried about anyone trying to kill us while we're at practice," Waleed adds, in between drags off foul-smelling, beetle-dung Iraqi cigarettes. "What better way to go out than playing fucking music, man?"
Presently, A.Crassicauda are pooling their money to record demos and figuring out a plan to escape Baghdad and tour the world. Order has to come back to Iraq first, though. Then, and only then, can they start courting A&R guys.
"Metal is worldwide, man," Waleed says with wicked smile on his face. "Just look at these guys." He's waving a Dimmu Borgir CD in my face. "I'd really love to tour and play our music for audiences and see how they'd react. What do you think our chances are?"
I smile and give him the same bullshit answer that I've learned to give any talented young band starting outsome tongue-twister pabulum about the need to work hard and keep trying. I don't want to let even an ounce of doubt come out of my mouth. But Waleed doesn't care. He's got to get back to practice and he doesn't want to head home too late after dark tonight.
ANDY MOORE
Your email:
Their email:
Comments:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: we still rocking ?!?!?!?
Date: Mar 25 2004 03:10:17 AM
Author: the blood master
hay guys ....
i'd like to confierm that we're all ok and doing fine as matter of fact i was near that boom ,thanx for concern sandman,but the thing is i'm find ,but i don't know for how long i''ll be to be honest ,cuz this is my job i cover the news ,and you know breaking news like a boom ,is something i have to go to ,and baghdad in general is a fucked place by now ,not as it used to be B4 ,but it'll be fine ,i'm writing a song now about what happened in khadhemyha and karbalha the shrine thing ,as well as another one about ???
or i'll leave that later ..
but i'd like to thank all the people whom they're giving their support ,it's really usefull and great ,i'm sure it'll be a time when we're going to do the same and not let you down .
at the end i thank kanu and matt and all the others for their good words about the band .
last word for you all keep your minds pure from ??????????????????
i think you can get it ,i don't have to mention.
we are every where????
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: bombing at hotel in karrada district
Date: Mar 17 2004 07:55:57 PM
Author: sandman
this is near where the bloodmaster himself and company played their last show, so.. let's hear a shout to know none of them were near it when it happened.
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Subject: awesome kids
Date: Mar 17 2004 06:32:33 PM
Author: kanu
they kick ass, man, although i haven't heard them play. i mean, would any of you losers be able to write lyrics if you were in a situation like that, or even think, or remember your name? no fucken way, you'd run home to your momma crying like a scared lil baby.
they may be angry and fucked, but you know why that is. they didn't just become like that outta nowhere. america did this, saddam did this, every fucken capitalist did this.
good luck to you guys, waleed and the others in the band. you guys are brave young men. see ya someday at your concert ;-)
hey maybe you should write an anti-bush song?? that'd be awesome
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Subject: yeaaaaa gooo metal
Date: Mar 14 2004 08:29:22 PM
Author: matt
hey waleed,you have me to blame if you get random emails from iraqi metal heads. but maybe that's a good thing. i saw you on tv last year and hunted down your email address... hope you've made some good contacts
btw, what's up with hamsa, aisha, haider and saif? talk to them at all? they ok?
dragnink
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Subject: here we r
Date: Mar 13 2004 02:01:10 PM
Author: the blood master
???????????????????????
i think this how i should start what i'm intending to write ,cuz it's pretty shoking and amazing plus a bit sad at the same tie first i have to say i didn't get the chance to read the artical, but in fact i read almost all the comments ,and i wonna have the chance to say somthing ,it's really cool to find that lots of people r reading and knwing about you after a very long time living in a dark cave ,although i think that there's lots of guy don't seem t understand few things ,1st it music and it's metal ,means it's not any kind of music ,it's the glory and the best thing that humanty ever knew so far this is what i think plus for the person who said isn't it enough that we stole your money and whatever and now we wonna take over your music, i say ( we did not ask your people or government to come and innvade r country and be the super hero of 21 century ??
just put this in mind and you'll understand ,plus the excuse your government were claiming that it's enough to invaide r country ( WMD) you know it's a fgucking big bullshit lie or whatever they couldn''t prove not even a simple thing yet ??
till then ,it's your government you should blame for spending your money to kill other people and your people same time ...
i think this is enough talking about that!!!
guys i really wonna write all what i have inside just to let all the people shar this feelings ,but the thing is i'm working so bad ,but the thing was stronges
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Subject: Hope
Date: Mar 03 2004 09:56:05 PM
Author: iraqi_guy
A.crassicauda! One day you guys gonna shake hands with slayer, Black Sabbath and AC/DC.
If you guys don't make it to OZZFEST 2004, then you can make it to OZZFEST 2005. Keep practicing and always look at the bright side of this world (i know it's fucked up at the moment), but wait and hope till you guys gonna be the Kings of Metal and your dreams will come true.
All the Best to you guys and to the great people of Iraq.
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Subject: ......Baghdad's Hardest
Date: Feb 28 2004 06:22:15 PM
Author: Troy
Baghdad today, as seen by the Iraqi:
http://messopotamian.blogspot.com/
http://iraqataglance.blogspot.com/
http://healingiraq.blogspot.com/
http://www.iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/
http://hammorabi.blogspot.com/
Live Baghdad Cam:
About halfway down on the right side of the FoxNews website is a live webcamera with a view of the square where the Saddam statue was torn down, Baghdad's al-Firdos (Paradise) Square. http://www.foxnews.com/
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Subject: damn, that's tough
Date: Feb 25 2004 01:20:11 PM
Author: kashe
i guess with a life like that how can you help but be extremely hardcore metal?
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Subject: Huge Explosion Rocks Bagdad
Date: Feb 24 2004 01:29:20 PM
Author: Dirthead
they shoulda called themselves Huge Explosion or maybe Car Bomb or something...You get the joke
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Subject: BLACK FUCKING METAL
Date: Feb 23 2004 10:24:56 PM
Author: Killer of Pooftah Journalists
Black Metal FAGS??!! Fuck off you ass-licking cum-sucker. Buy it, rent it, steal it, but for fuck's sake GET SOME TASTE and learn how to fucking write. Asshole.
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Subject: Yay!
Date: Feb 23 2004 04:50:09 PM
Author: Hurray!
Metal sucks, but guess what.. this article actually was decent and made a point. For once Vice has a good article..
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Subject: meta-miracle
Date: Feb 23 2004 05:37:02 AM
Author: gok
well fuck me jesus!
someone wrote an article!
about something but himself!
or his hairdo!
okay now I wanna hear them?????
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Subject: Remeber to give J. Lee c/o Blind credit
Date: Feb 22 2004 06:56:48 PM
Author: SevenAteSix
for the title....
eye opening article.
good job.
Peace
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Subject: ha ha
Date: Feb 22 2004 03:22:41 PM
Author: Abadona
SHit I rember the same censor ship in russia. Altho, I am currius to listent to this band, as any other. I am shure it will not be good yet.... It dose not mater where you are from in my book, or wether you live in shity connditions. If you rule you rule if u suck you do....
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Subject: holy shit
Date: Feb 20 2004 01:13:52 PM
Author: metal label
I run a small label and want to sign these guys immediately. I dont even need to hear em. How do I get in touch with them?
I'm serious.
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Subject: die
Date: Feb 20 2004 11:34:33 AM
Author: Girth
piss poor article. learn how to write. better yet, just hang yourself from the nearest broken lamppost.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: it
Date: Feb 19 2004 02:13:25 PM
Author: another one
http://www.reason.com/hitandrun/001015.shtml
this one has an actual posting from the bloodmaster!!!
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Subject: for it
Date: Feb 19 2004 02:12:52 PM
Author: link
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thes
tar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1074986108184
&call_pageid=1038394944805&col=1038394944443
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: gy
Date: Feb 19 2004 12:29:51 AM
Author: The Black
GIDEON YAGO (thumbs up icon)
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Subject: ha ha
Date: Feb 18 2004 08:18:22 PM
Author: Philbert
is this where beavis and butthead were dropped off or what?
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Subject: fuck that!
Date: Feb 17 2004 03:22:49 PM
Author: some guy
It's not enough that they're costing our nation millions of dollars in "liberation" fees they're gotta steal our trailer-trash music too? Enough is enough. Get back in there Bush!
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Subject: Hey Burry
Date: Feb 17 2004 02:23:42 PM
Author: Morpee us
that looks like the falafel selling dude across the street from my upscale jew crib.
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Subject: fucking hell.
Date: Feb 17 2004 04:39:23 AM
Author: literati
finally an actual article in this rickety crack house of a magazine. good work bitches. now how about an article on pakistani drone bands?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: speechless...
Date: Feb 17 2004 12:06:45 AM
Author: D-Tech
I feel like beating up Dave Matthews after reading this...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: article
Date: Feb 16 2004 05:55:53 PM
Author: nice
sheesh
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Subject: dead
Date: Feb 16 2004 04:17:07 PM
Author: euronymous
Cheers Andy, that was the first decent article that I've read in this piece of shit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Huh?
Date: Feb 16 2004 10:42:17 AM
Author: Dignan
They were forced to listen to Dani Minoge and Shania? Those evil fucking BASTARDS!!!! No human should suffer so much.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: the
Date: Feb 16 2004 06:58:54 AM
Author: bomb
Punk. As. Fuck.
How did you get into Baghdad?
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Subject: Metal
Date: Feb 16 2004 04:53:25 AM
Author: 39
Black metal-loving Iraqis kick ass.
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Subject: sweet
Date: Feb 15 2004 07:04:36 PM
Author: Metal
Keep fighting the metal fight, everyone deserves to shred the guitar and scream as loud as they want.
-Rivfader-
Klingons on Uranus
Todd Forrest says: "That looks like bamboo wallpaper." Polaroids of Will Lemon (left)and Leo Fitzpatrick byTim Barber
In the past two years, the tides have turned drastically in the world of recreational drugs. Boredom and unemployment have brought on a massive resurgence of acid and mushrooms.
The late 90s belonged to coke, and it made perfect sense. Dot-com brats on $10,000 mountain bikes were the most natural demographic for coke since hair-rocker brats got way too laid in the mid-80s. Then the bubble burst and everyone's confidence was flushed down the financial toilet like poo. One month, you thought nothing of dropping $120 on an eightball of "Mt. Everest" every fucking night. The next, you were lucky if you could afford a nickel bag of the world's worst pot. What happened?
The unemployment rate amongst the college-educated went up 7% last year, and thanks to the $87 billion funneled into Iraq, it shows no signs of improving. This "lost generation" is more lost than ever. After all, you can only drink so much cheap coffee before a stronger buzz is in order, and idle hands do the devil's drugs. Shit, have you seen daytime TV lately? It's all court shows and infomercials and blah blah. Watching it makes you hate yourself and turns blasting your brains into the strato-sphere for twelve hours at a time with high-powered drugs into an almost irresistible option. It's not like you have to be at workor even vaguely functionaltomorrow. The hippies, pampered kids who were afforded the luxury of rebellion, took sheet upon sheet of acid because they were rich and boring. We're taking it because we're poor and bored.
Music and art are already catching up to the insurgent summer of love that 2004 is sure to bring. Do you think the work of Forcefield or the fractured music of psych-folkie Devendra Banhart isn't fueled by copious tripping? You bet your ass it is. We've heard that Banhart gets handed so many hallucinogens by eager fans when he's out on tour that, if he were able to take them all, he'd be high until he was 46. And look at the hip movies of the 90s vis-à-vis those of today. In the time of coke, you had Pulp Fiction, a cranky, macho, faux-intellectual series of vignettes that was as jittery as Jayson Blair's hands after a bender. Now we have films like Spike Jonze's Adaptation, a multi-leveled, metatextual headfuck that you need to debate afterwards with your friends (why would he have a picture of her on his porno website?!).
The demand for mindbending trips has mushroom picking and acid production at staggering volumes. Vancouver and northern Florida, two of the biggest centers for psychedelic fungi, are becoming centers of culture in response to their sudden relevance to the rest of the US and Canada. This is evidenced by a sharp rise in art-college enrollment in Vancouver and a fresh crop of ever-stranger death metal bands from the Florida panhandle. San Francisco, still the acid capital of the world, is lumbering back awake like a gigantic sleeping hippie bum. The truth is undeniable: From sea to shining sea, everyone is hallucinating shining seas.
That is why, as we watch our previously square friends start turning on, it becomes ever more important to offer a helping hand and some cogent advice about swallowing drugs. What's the answer when your back's against the wall and the oblivion of hallucinogens seems like your only option? Or, to put the question more succinctly, which is more funacid or mushrooms?
The conventional wisdom about acid is that you go on a heavy trip of life-changing proportions and you see and hear beautiful and nonexistent things. The classic pitfalls: You might freak the fuck out and spend eight hours convinced your dead grandfather is eating from a dirty ashtray under your bed. Mushrooms are generally known to be more of an introspective and physical trip, with less visual hallucinations. Two of the most common downsides are panic attacks and the fact that they taste like eating out an ass. To settle the question and save you the $4 you might waste on acid if you're more of a shroom person, we sent two intrepid ne'er-do-wells into Brooklyn's Prospect Park on a recent Sunday. One (henceforth known as Subject A) was on a hit of high-quality blotter acid. The other (Subject B) ate about an eighth of the best shrooms we've ever seen.
HOUR ONE
Subject A (yes, that's the acid guy) first started exhibiting signs of tripping one half hour after swallowing the tab. He became shifty-eyed and a little apprehensivea common state when one feels the onset of the drug and isn't sure what to expect from the coming trip. "I just tripped out on some guy's pants. They were a weird plaid but I couldn't tell if it was the drug or not. People's faces are starting to look really pink. But I feel good."
Subject B was already getting off a mere 15 minutes after eating the mushrooms. He projected an air of quiet serenity. "I wish we'd eaten some breakfast first. It's happening a lot faster than I thought, which is nice because it's been a long time since it was like in the daytime, in the park " [Trails off and stares at the sun]
HOUR THREE
The subjects move deeper into the park at this point, and soon encounter a quintessential hallucinogen dilemma: Is something weird because we're high, or is it actually weird? Nobody seems to know if those creepy dudes we just saw in that fucked-up part of the park wanted to kill Subjects A and B or if everyone was just being paranoid.
Subject A is agitated and seems to have a surplus of confused physical energy. "I feel so good now that we're out of the basketball jungle. There were some really weird things going around. It didn't sound like nature. It sounded like cars and fucked-up shit. We could have been walking into an ambush. Those guys in there made it a point not to look at my face because they were about to slit my throat."
Subject B is on a bench calmly sipping Gatorade. "I think we just went into the part of the park you aren't supposed to see. The sketchy dudes, like, plotting our demise. They were ready to mug us in broad daylight. But I don't knowthe shrooms have been on forever now. It's, like, everything. Just walking in the grass, and the sounds It's, like, sensory."
HOUR FIVE
It's decided that even completely sober, Prospect Park would be a bum trip. At this point we adjourn to a nearby diner, thereby making one of the larger mistakes in relation to LSD: looking at food.
Subject A is visibly uncomfortable and muttering nonsensical half phrases like how he is glad he had his own entrance into the diner (something that nobody else can understand). He gradually kneads a cloth napkin into a tightly wound knot sculpture, which gets tinted gray by his sweaty hands. "There's some kind of metal in my tea here. I think it's magnesium. I feel like I can taste everything. Maybe I'm just paying all the attention."
Subject B manages to order food (chicken fingers and cream of chicken soup). He eats two bites before giving up. "God, this soup looks gnarly. It's like a mental hospital in here. [Looks at Subject A] I feel like we're hanging out with Ponce de Leon."
HOUR SEVEN
Back at home base (the VICE office), both subjects have reached the peaks of their trips. Subject A is almost completely incoherent, alternately pacing and laughing maniacally. "I can still see stuff moving. Like the table and all, it's shifting like an ocean. But it's OK. The best part of today has been talking. Like, we had the best crew. Everyone was talking, and just, the laughter, man "
Subject B started to come down, and has just eaten another handful of shrooms. "I'm in it for the long haul just hanging out with everything." [Closes eyes and stops talking]
HOUR NINE
Subject B is completely high again, and Subject A seems to still be peaking. Subject A's trip has taken on an edge of anger. At this point, we decide to take each of them out to the hallway one at a time and ask them what their favorite thing about nature is.
Subject A is nervous about being questioned, and doesn't want to be apart from Subject B for too long. "Oh, man. Fuck. Nature is the best possible thing. Nature is the everything that is not a human being, you know? We could all dieevery fucking person on the planet could collapse and die, and you know what? I don't know what's gonna happen. Compared with nature, humans are the worst, Mother Nature keeps on giving good things and we keep giving them shit. I mean, I smoke too, but cigarettes are like the most horrible thing that comes from nature. But I don't know. Fuck it. Nobody should be around to destroy it. But also, imagine if it was just a bunch of naked dudes playing with balls."
Subject B has a magnanimous glow and is unfazable. As a result, he also seems a bit distant during his private interview. "I like that nature is there at my disposal. For a guy who likes to do mushrooms, it's weird but I like it to be distant, like in parks and shit. I'm pro-nature, I guess. There's no answer to this puzzle. It's like, who's better, The Smiths or The Cure? There's no answer."
CONCLUSIONS
Subject A exhibited the quintessential characteristics of a person in the grips of LSD. He was wary, fragile, and difficult to speak with. According to his reports, he experienced mild visual hallucinations, a sense of utter detachment from the world, and uncontrollable laughter. He also reported feeling "fucking weird."
We recommend LSD for users 1824, people who watch more TV than they read books, and "dog people."
Subject B exhibited the classic symptoms of psychedelic mushroom intoxication. He was introspective but kind of endearing and, like Subject A, distant. Subject B reported feeling wise, physically warm, and "like, everything."
We recommend mushrooms for people 25 and older, those who are erudite, and, obviously, "cat people."
JERRY MCPHEERSON
Your email:
Their email:
Comments:
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 22 2004 09:24:08 PM
Author: R2
I used to take mushrooms all the time when i was 15-16, then one time i had the worst trip ever. I became completely infatuated with death, and i kept envisioning myself either killing someone there, or killing myself. Then i started getting CRAZY visuals... a huge, totally complexed network of gears all connected to this huge wheel with hundreds of numbers on it. The wheel was spinning like crazy, and for some reason i thought that was how long i had to live. I totally accepted the fact that i was gonna die, and that was scary shit. I'm 17 now, and i can safely say, fuck shrooms.
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Subject: lsdissertation (hi xtian...)
Date: Mar 12 2004 05:06:52 PM
Author: vic p
as a 40 year old who did most of his tripping during the early 80's when supposedly nobody was doing it (I see people are still saying "it's coming back;" it never left), I liked the article, although the conclusions about age and literacy levels are bogus.
Miscellaneous words of wisdom: after you do it often enough you will hit a point of saturation and you won't want to do it anymore. I did it about 50 times. If you find yourself becoming bored with endlessly groovy supportive surroundings, drop the psychic safety net and go confront the straight world. A bad trip can be a fine learning experience. Never tell people you don't trust that you are on acid while you are on it just because you think they 'must be able to guess' - they can't, and if they're really straight they would never even guess that a person on acid could even be functioning the way you are (you're doing just fine). A myth that might have finally been dispelled by now is that the only 'real' acid was available in the 60's; there was this presumption among old hippies that if nobody ended up in the emergency room it couldn't be real....actually, trippers after the 60's have brought less apocalyptic expectations and are thus less likely to leap from windows. One commentator brought up cellphones - yikes - I can't imagine having to deal with cellphones on a trip! The 80's sucked but at least there were no cellphones on trips. Have "fun" everybody...
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Subject: acid
Date: Mar 11 2004 07:32:50 PM
Author: kaa
i've been wary of acid ever since the last time i did it, which was sophomore year of high school. that's a really bad idea, acid in high school. you're too stupid to deal with putting together a presentable outfit in the morning, let alone navigate your way through the murky depths of a psychedelic experience. i was in this girl's house, and i didn't know her very well. everyone else had left to get food, but i felt too insane, so i was there by myself. this girl had one of those puffy miniature dogs that are all skittish and evil. it kept trying to bite me, and i started to think that it was a demon dog. immediately thereafter i began to smell burnt rubber emanating from said animal, and i completely flipped my shit and hid under the couch cushions. demented. when i thought the coast was clear, i peeked my head out and saw, hovering in front of me, a circle of thorns, in which, what looked like Mayan heiroglyphics were engaging in some sort of ritual dance. it was then that i felt truly ready to embrace the oblivion of insanity, as i just supposed that satan now owned my soul. however, my friends returned shortly thereafter, and proceeded to play that gay-ass blind melon video, the one with that fat girl in a bee suit, on repeat, and do dumb shit like try to make me trip balls to the pattern on a checkerboard. lame. as much as it sucked being alone with all the evil, it was a lot worse when i realized that all my friends were fucking morons.
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Subject: shrooms
Date: Mar 10 2004 11:42:16 PM
Author: 20 year old
Make sure you don't call anyone, just turn off your cell when on shrooms. I made the mistake of calling my parents and freaked out because I paused (what seemed like a long time) and hung up. Turns out it was only like a second, but seemed like a minute. Fucked my trip, i was paranoid to all hell, couldn't help it... But man was I halucinating BIG TIME.
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Subject: Shroms and acid and all
Date: Mar 05 2004 09:29:57 PM
Author: Helldyver
Well, the first time I took Acid , I took 10 hits. No joke. WTF was going on right? Naw. It was bugged, but fun as hell. I had a huge Apt. and I had these great lights and De La soul was on. i thoguht I was on the moon, and the leafs on the trees outside looked like Dragons. Acid is cool, but gives you a headache.
I did trip 3 days straight on Shrooms in Amsterdam. Good times, and no one cares about that goofy-ass look on your face. But yeah, past 24, stay away from the acid. Too much retrospect to deal with.
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 05 2004 05:06:05 PM
Author: wi-wi-wicky-wicky-wicky
mushrooms are and always have been the best for everyone in all age groups!
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 01 2004 01:15:44 PM
Author: high times in Van
The best times i've had on mushrooms are at concerts (can't do more than 2 grams) or going on hikes at night into the forest. Eating mush makes you get all philisophical and deep but really its all horse shit, thats why you shouldn't be around people who aren't on mush when your on them. You start thinking all conspiracy theory with the person who's not on mush being a secret undercover agent working for big bird in a seasame street ploy to feed you to their space muppets ( the ones that say whoooopa whooopa whooopa )
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Subject: lsd
Date: Feb 25 2004 08:33:40 PM
Author: K$
a friend and i took lsd in this field with a guitar and a yellow rudder ball. we started peaking and right when we begin to lose control, this obnoxious guy everybody called "rusty" came with his guitar and started demanding that my buddy play "hotel california" with him. i explored space with the ball a while when rusty started getting heinous on my friend for not playing it right. it was us three in a desolate field, two of us on acid... and rusty. we killed rusty.
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Subject: mush rooms
Date: Feb 23 2004 05:15:15 PM
Author: dondanger
last time I got down with them shrooms was intense, a friend like got shit with the mail from holland (I live in sweden, so it's not to far)and it was some heavy lab-fucked up-dutch cup..you get the picture..we sat down around the kitchen table in this one friends flat, I guess we were three people..and we started to eat that, like chewing it, but the juices was to weird so we figured it whould be a good idea to mix it in a coffe bean blender...we threw in the whole bag and we ended up with like 5 grams of fine powder, mixed that with orangejuice and drank it..it was cool..another dude came over, all sober and shit...he's a bit retarded at least a minor brain glitch..I was thinkin, maybe we should kill this guy..so I had one of the stoned dudes follow me out on the ballcony..and was about to tell him of my plan when he goes, "I think we should kill this motherfucker" ...we did'nt..but like an hour later I was standing looking at myself in the bathroom mirror admireing my beaty like never before. All of a sudden this idea stroke me that a friend of my (not present at the time) was getting a proper beat up downtown...and then like half an hour later we are sittin in the livingroom listening to some beats or whatever and the doorphone rang. This dude started to go on from down
In the past two years, the tides have turned drastically in the world of recreational drugs. Boredom and unemployment have brought on a massive resurgence of acid and mushrooms.
The late 90s belonged to coke, and it made perfect sense. Dot-com brats on $10,000 mountain bikes were the most natural demographic for coke since hair-rocker brats got way too laid in the mid-80s. Then the bubble burst and everyone's confidence was flushed down the financial toilet like poo. One month, you thought nothing of dropping $120 on an eightball of "Mt. Everest" every fucking night. The next, you were lucky if you could afford a nickel bag of the world's worst pot. What happened?
The unemployment rate amongst the college-educated went up 7% last year, and thanks to the $87 billion funneled into Iraq, it shows no signs of improving. This "lost generation" is more lost than ever. After all, you can only drink so much cheap coffee before a stronger buzz is in order, and idle hands do the devil's drugs. Shit, have you seen daytime TV lately? It's all court shows and infomercials and blah blah. Watching it makes you hate yourself and turns blasting your brains into the strato-sphere for twelve hours at a time with high-powered drugs into an almost irresistible option. It's not like you have to be at workor even vaguely functionaltomorrow. The hippies, pampered kids who were afforded the luxury of rebellion, took sheet upon sheet of acid because they were rich and boring. We're taking it because we're poor and bored.
Music and art are already catching up to the insurgent summer of love that 2004 is sure to bring. Do you think the work of Forcefield or the fractured music of psych-folkie Devendra Banhart isn't fueled by copious tripping? You bet your ass it is. We've heard that Banhart gets handed so many hallucinogens by eager fans when he's out on tour that, if he were able to take them all, he'd be high until he was 46. And look at the hip movies of the 90s vis-à-vis those of today. In the time of coke, you had Pulp Fiction, a cranky, macho, faux-intellectual series of vignettes that was as jittery as Jayson Blair's hands after a bender. Now we have films like Spike Jonze's Adaptation, a multi-leveled, metatextual headfuck that you need to debate afterwards with your friends (why would he have a picture of her on his porno website?!).
The demand for mindbending trips has mushroom picking and acid production at staggering volumes. Vancouver and northern Florida, two of the biggest centers for psychedelic fungi, are becoming centers of culture in response to their sudden relevance to the rest of the US and Canada. This is evidenced by a sharp rise in art-college enrollment in Vancouver and a fresh crop of ever-stranger death metal bands from the Florida panhandle. San Francisco, still the acid capital of the world, is lumbering back awake like a gigantic sleeping hippie bum. The truth is undeniable: From sea to shining sea, everyone is hallucinating shining seas.
That is why, as we watch our previously square friends start turning on, it becomes ever more important to offer a helping hand and some cogent advice about swallowing drugs. What's the answer when your back's against the wall and the oblivion of hallucinogens seems like your only option? Or, to put the question more succinctly, which is more funacid or mushrooms?
The conventional wisdom about acid is that you go on a heavy trip of life-changing proportions and you see and hear beautiful and nonexistent things. The classic pitfalls: You might freak the fuck out and spend eight hours convinced your dead grandfather is eating from a dirty ashtray under your bed. Mushrooms are generally known to be more of an introspective and physical trip, with less visual hallucinations. Two of the most common downsides are panic attacks and the fact that they taste like eating out an ass. To settle the question and save you the $4 you might waste on acid if you're more of a shroom person, we sent two intrepid ne'er-do-wells into Brooklyn's Prospect Park on a recent Sunday. One (henceforth known as Subject A) was on a hit of high-quality blotter acid. The other (Subject B) ate about an eighth of the best shrooms we've ever seen.
HOUR ONE
Subject A (yes, that's the acid guy) first started exhibiting signs of tripping one half hour after swallowing the tab. He became shifty-eyed and a little apprehensivea common state when one feels the onset of the drug and isn't sure what to expect from the coming trip. "I just tripped out on some guy's pants. They were a weird plaid but I couldn't tell if it was the drug or not. People's faces are starting to look really pink. But I feel good."
Subject B was already getting off a mere 15 minutes after eating the mushrooms. He projected an air of quiet serenity. "I wish we'd eaten some breakfast first. It's happening a lot faster than I thought, which is nice because it's been a long time since it was like in the daytime, in the park " [Trails off and stares at the sun]
HOUR THREE
The subjects move deeper into the park at this point, and soon encounter a quintessential hallucinogen dilemma: Is something weird because we're high, or is it actually weird? Nobody seems to know if those creepy dudes we just saw in that fucked-up part of the park wanted to kill Subjects A and B or if everyone was just being paranoid.
Subject A is agitated and seems to have a surplus of confused physical energy. "I feel so good now that we're out of the basketball jungle. There were some really weird things going around. It didn't sound like nature. It sounded like cars and fucked-up shit. We could have been walking into an ambush. Those guys in there made it a point not to look at my face because they were about to slit my throat."
Subject B is on a bench calmly sipping Gatorade. "I think we just went into the part of the park you aren't supposed to see. The sketchy dudes, like, plotting our demise. They were ready to mug us in broad daylight. But I don't knowthe shrooms have been on forever now. It's, like, everything. Just walking in the grass, and the sounds It's, like, sensory."
HOUR FIVE
It's decided that even completely sober, Prospect Park would be a bum trip. At this point we adjourn to a nearby diner, thereby making one of the larger mistakes in relation to LSD: looking at food.
Subject A is visibly uncomfortable and muttering nonsensical half phrases like how he is glad he had his own entrance into the diner (something that nobody else can understand). He gradually kneads a cloth napkin into a tightly wound knot sculpture, which gets tinted gray by his sweaty hands. "There's some kind of metal in my tea here. I think it's magnesium. I feel like I can taste everything. Maybe I'm just paying all the attention."
Subject B manages to order food (chicken fingers and cream of chicken soup). He eats two bites before giving up. "God, this soup looks gnarly. It's like a mental hospital in here. [Looks at Subject A] I feel like we're hanging out with Ponce de Leon."
HOUR SEVEN
Back at home base (the VICE office), both subjects have reached the peaks of their trips. Subject A is almost completely incoherent, alternately pacing and laughing maniacally. "I can still see stuff moving. Like the table and all, it's shifting like an ocean. But it's OK. The best part of today has been talking. Like, we had the best crew. Everyone was talking, and just, the laughter, man "
Subject B started to come down, and has just eaten another handful of shrooms. "I'm in it for the long haul just hanging out with everything." [Closes eyes and stops talking]
HOUR NINE
Subject B is completely high again, and Subject A seems to still be peaking. Subject A's trip has taken on an edge of anger. At this point, we decide to take each of them out to the hallway one at a time and ask them what their favorite thing about nature is.
Subject A is nervous about being questioned, and doesn't want to be apart from Subject B for too long. "Oh, man. Fuck. Nature is the best possible thing. Nature is the everything that is not a human being, you know? We could all dieevery fucking person on the planet could collapse and die, and you know what? I don't know what's gonna happen. Compared with nature, humans are the worst, Mother Nature keeps on giving good things and we keep giving them shit. I mean, I smoke too, but cigarettes are like the most horrible thing that comes from nature. But I don't know. Fuck it. Nobody should be around to destroy it. But also, imagine if it was just a bunch of naked dudes playing with balls."
Subject B has a magnanimous glow and is unfazable. As a result, he also seems a bit distant during his private interview. "I like that nature is there at my disposal. For a guy who likes to do mushrooms, it's weird but I like it to be distant, like in parks and shit. I'm pro-nature, I guess. There's no answer to this puzzle. It's like, who's better, The Smiths or The Cure? There's no answer."
CONCLUSIONS
Subject A exhibited the quintessential characteristics of a person in the grips of LSD. He was wary, fragile, and difficult to speak with. According to his reports, he experienced mild visual hallucinations, a sense of utter detachment from the world, and uncontrollable laughter. He also reported feeling "fucking weird."
We recommend LSD for users 1824, people who watch more TV than they read books, and "dog people."
Subject B exhibited the classic symptoms of psychedelic mushroom intoxication. He was introspective but kind of endearing and, like Subject A, distant. Subject B reported feeling wise, physically warm, and "like, everything."
We recommend mushrooms for people 25 and older, those who are erudite, and, obviously, "cat people."
JERRY MCPHEERSON
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 22 2004 09:24:08 PM
Author: R2
I used to take mushrooms all the time when i was 15-16, then one time i had the worst trip ever. I became completely infatuated with death, and i kept envisioning myself either killing someone there, or killing myself. Then i started getting CRAZY visuals... a huge, totally complexed network of gears all connected to this huge wheel with hundreds of numbers on it. The wheel was spinning like crazy, and for some reason i thought that was how long i had to live. I totally accepted the fact that i was gonna die, and that was scary shit. I'm 17 now, and i can safely say, fuck shrooms.
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Subject: lsdissertation (hi xtian...)
Date: Mar 12 2004 05:06:52 PM
Author: vic p
as a 40 year old who did most of his tripping during the early 80's when supposedly nobody was doing it (I see people are still saying "it's coming back;" it never left), I liked the article, although the conclusions about age and literacy levels are bogus.
Miscellaneous words of wisdom: after you do it often enough you will hit a point of saturation and you won't want to do it anymore. I did it about 50 times. If you find yourself becoming bored with endlessly groovy supportive surroundings, drop the psychic safety net and go confront the straight world. A bad trip can be a fine learning experience. Never tell people you don't trust that you are on acid while you are on it just because you think they 'must be able to guess' - they can't, and if they're really straight they would never even guess that a person on acid could even be functioning the way you are (you're doing just fine). A myth that might have finally been dispelled by now is that the only 'real' acid was available in the 60's; there was this presumption among old hippies that if nobody ended up in the emergency room it couldn't be real....actually, trippers after the 60's have brought less apocalyptic expectations and are thus less likely to leap from windows. One commentator brought up cellphones - yikes - I can't imagine having to deal with cellphones on a trip! The 80's sucked but at least there were no cellphones on trips. Have "fun" everybody...
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Subject: acid
Date: Mar 11 2004 07:32:50 PM
Author: kaa
i've been wary of acid ever since the last time i did it, which was sophomore year of high school. that's a really bad idea, acid in high school. you're too stupid to deal with putting together a presentable outfit in the morning, let alone navigate your way through the murky depths of a psychedelic experience. i was in this girl's house, and i didn't know her very well. everyone else had left to get food, but i felt too insane, so i was there by myself. this girl had one of those puffy miniature dogs that are all skittish and evil. it kept trying to bite me, and i started to think that it was a demon dog. immediately thereafter i began to smell burnt rubber emanating from said animal, and i completely flipped my shit and hid under the couch cushions. demented. when i thought the coast was clear, i peeked my head out and saw, hovering in front of me, a circle of thorns, in which, what looked like Mayan heiroglyphics were engaging in some sort of ritual dance. it was then that i felt truly ready to embrace the oblivion of insanity, as i just supposed that satan now owned my soul. however, my friends returned shortly thereafter, and proceeded to play that gay-ass blind melon video, the one with that fat girl in a bee suit, on repeat, and do dumb shit like try to make me trip balls to the pattern on a checkerboard. lame. as much as it sucked being alone with all the evil, it was a lot worse when i realized that all my friends were fucking morons.
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Subject: shrooms
Date: Mar 10 2004 11:42:16 PM
Author: 20 year old
Make sure you don't call anyone, just turn off your cell when on shrooms. I made the mistake of calling my parents and freaked out because I paused (what seemed like a long time) and hung up. Turns out it was only like a second, but seemed like a minute. Fucked my trip, i was paranoid to all hell, couldn't help it... But man was I halucinating BIG TIME.
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Subject: Shroms and acid and all
Date: Mar 05 2004 09:29:57 PM
Author: Helldyver
Well, the first time I took Acid , I took 10 hits. No joke. WTF was going on right? Naw. It was bugged, but fun as hell. I had a huge Apt. and I had these great lights and De La soul was on. i thoguht I was on the moon, and the leafs on the trees outside looked like Dragons. Acid is cool, but gives you a headache.
I did trip 3 days straight on Shrooms in Amsterdam. Good times, and no one cares about that goofy-ass look on your face. But yeah, past 24, stay away from the acid. Too much retrospect to deal with.
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 05 2004 05:06:05 PM
Author: wi-wi-wicky-wicky-wicky
mushrooms are and always have been the best for everyone in all age groups!
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Subject: mushrooms
Date: Mar 01 2004 01:15:44 PM
Author: high times in Van
The best times i've had on mushrooms are at concerts (can't do more than 2 grams) or going on hikes at night into the forest. Eating mush makes you get all philisophical and deep but really its all horse shit, thats why you shouldn't be around people who aren't on mush when your on them. You start thinking all conspiracy theory with the person who's not on mush being a secret undercover agent working for big bird in a seasame street ploy to feed you to their space muppets ( the ones that say whoooopa whooopa whooopa )
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Subject: lsd
Date: Feb 25 2004 08:33:40 PM
Author: K$
a friend and i took lsd in this field with a guitar and a yellow rudder ball. we started peaking and right when we begin to lose control, this obnoxious guy everybody called "rusty" came with his guitar and started demanding that my buddy play "hotel california" with him. i explored space with the ball a while when rusty started getting heinous on my friend for not playing it right. it was us three in a desolate field, two of us on acid... and rusty. we killed rusty.
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Subject: mush rooms
Date: Feb 23 2004 05:15:15 PM
Author: dondanger
last time I got down with them shrooms was intense, a friend like got shit with the mail from holland (I live in sweden, so it's not to far)and it was some heavy lab-fucked up-dutch cup..you get the picture..we sat down around the kitchen table in this one friends flat, I guess we were three people..and we started to eat that, like chewing it, but the juices was to weird so we figured it whould be a good idea to mix it in a coffe bean blender...we threw in the whole bag and we ended up with like 5 grams of fine powder, mixed that with orangejuice and drank it..it was cool..another dude came over, all sober and shit...he's a bit retarded at least a minor brain glitch..I was thinkin, maybe we should kill this guy..so I had one of the stoned dudes follow me out on the ballcony..and was about to tell him of my plan when he goes, "I think we should kill this motherfucker" ...we did'nt..but like an hour later I was standing looking at myself in the bathroom mirror admireing my beaty like never before. All of a sudden this idea stroke me that a friend of my (not present at the time) was getting a proper beat up downtown...and then like half an hour later we are sittin in the livingroom listening to some beats or whatever and the doorphone rang. This dude started to go on from down
Captain_Steel
80's thrash-miester
Andy Moore...who the fuck are you Micheal Moore's baby brother? You think it's cool that "Before Saddam was toppled courtesy of The Red, White, and Blue, most young people had their music brutally censored by the murderous pedophile Uday Hussein, who banned just about all genres of punk and metal (death, gore, speed, black metal, and power electronics were particularly frowned upon)." (and now they are having a metal scene)...yet you still throw in this anti-amerian propaganda bullshit: "sobbing American soldiers attempting to hang themselves from every available broken lamppost"
Show me one account of this actually happening, jackass!!
I fucking hate losers who make up bullshit because they think noone will call them on it. Just like your brother Micheal your a fucked up liar.
Show me one account of this actually happening, jackass!!
I fucking hate losers who make up bullshit because they think noone will call them on it. Just like your brother Micheal your a fucked up liar.
NGC 3370
Star Shooter Supreme
- Mar 6, 2004
- 227
- 0
- 16
Touche' 
Yep I agree totally with you Captain Steele.
Why play at Ozzfest anyway because if you were a metal band wouldn't you be aiming to play at say Tuska,Wacken,Summerbreeze or some other real metal fest.
Well the ultimate goal should be for them to play at Metal for the Brain but that aint gonna happen hehe.
Yep I agree totally with you Captain Steele.
Why play at Ozzfest anyway because if you were a metal band wouldn't you be aiming to play at say Tuska,Wacken,Summerbreeze or some other real metal fest.
Well the ultimate goal should be for them to play at Metal for the Brain but that aint gonna happen hehe.
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