Is depression weakness? Should I be ashamed?

[LostinReverie]

I'm posting this here because I value the opinions of those I know share my love for music that's always made me feel better. And lately, I've come to wonder whether I need to seek medicinal help.

I'm 28, I have my life ahead of me; graduating college in May, have a wonderful girlfriend, no debt, my health, yet something is awry. I feel lost at times, I let the littlest things in life are too much. I get irritated at the smallest of things. My girlfriend is slowly being pushed away by my irritability and mood swings.

So far in my life, I've self medicated: Pot, Alcohol, anti-anxiety drugs, money, girls. But that's all changed, and here I am. Depression runs deeply into my family; my mom attempted suicide and has manic depression, it's also on my fathers side.

My problem is I view it as weakness, and I don't want to change who I am. I love metal, I love my cynical, sarcastic side, I don't want to take a drug that will change who I am. I know I need it, but I don't want it. I think I'm too strong for some anti-depression drug, but I know I might need it.

So in my time of need, please give me advice. To those with depression, or those who have sought help, give me something to run with. Because I can't hide from this any more.

 

[Brave.Archangel]

I'm on an anti-depressant due to major clinical depression (genetic as well). It has helped me immensely. I hardly notice any difference; it is not like a drug that gets you high. It just takes the edge off for me. As someone who's struggled with major depression most of my life, I highly recommend anti-depressants as a harmless method of taking the pain out of depression.

 

[Heliotropic_Rose]

you shouldn't be ashamed. we are who we are, i was on anti-depression/anxiety pills for years, and alls I got to say is, man you sound like you have a lot more going for you than I do, and more going for you than you think

 

[FlawedCoil82]

and alls I got to say is, man you sound like you have a lot more going for you than I do, and more going for you than you think

I agree with this. I'd be thrilled to have half of the things going for me that you have listed. Depression is much more than just a mood though. It's a medical situation. Faith and my family are the only things that keep me sane and keep serious depression at bay. Music is just a temporary distraction for me.
Jack

 

[daimonion]

I know I need it, but....

But whatever. If you need it, you need it.

If that makes you feel ashamed, too bad! Get over it!

Actually it seems weaker to me to not be doing what you know needs to be done.

 

[verma]

i had a hard time through depressions. you should just find something in yourself, that is capable of destroying fears and hopelessness

 

[nymphx]

Hm, i totally understand your story and the thing i did when i was 3/4 years younger was finding help at my doctor. he directed me to a psychologist.
You should tell him/her your problems and they can give you a clear view of what's going on in your head. it can really give you a clear sight of what you gotta do to make your life better.

But most people just don't believe in it.

 

[dwoakee]

No, it is not a weakness. No, you shouldn't be ashamed. Go to a doctor or psychologist now. This means less trouble later.

 

[heavy metal]

seek medical help. i suffered from depression in the mid nineties. only thing was i didn't know i had depression, just several other symtoms. after being diagnosed the doctor put me on prozac, which i took for two weeks before binning them. once i knew what the problem was i had to beat it myself, in my own head. it took nearly four or five years before i was toally rid. and even now i can get an odd poor day. but it's a thing of the past. but a lot of people don't realise that it is a genuine illness. good luck for the future lostinreverie.

 

[Nightmare_Heaven]

Never be ashamed, like heavy_metal said it IS a genuine mental illness and it's not your fault.

 

[Pelata]

Do not be ashamed. Too often, depression is due to brain chemicals being offset. It's nothing you can control. I'm on anti-depressants myself.

 

[isolation_years]

ive had depression for a long time, its been terrible this year especially, but at the same time, i wish i had a girlfriend, i wish i didnt self medicate, i wish i could feel better about myself. I have great friends, some of which ive been friends with for more than 3/4 of my life, sincce kindergarten. but that doesnt stop me from feeling alone constantly.

but i guess i have good days and bad

i wouldnt be ashamed, but be glad for the things that you have, because some people arent as lucky (and im not talking down to you or anything, i feel like i understand to a certain degree). and at the same time i know that you can't just "feel better" because sometimes its a chemical imbalence

 

[To Rival Heaven]

Although you say depression runs in your family and have considered there likely a biological element to the way you are feeling, it might also be worth considering, as nymphx suggests, speaking to a mental health professional about the different options available.

I'm certainly not trying to dismiss the use of medication, but there are also, for example, a number of forms of counselling/therapy which could be an alternative or even used in conjuncture with drugs.
You mention some of the good things in your life, and it sounds like there is no obvious confronting problem besides feeling 'lost', however from my experience there can be things we would like to be different in our lives but which, for whatever reason, we may not be fully aware of.

You make it clear that you do not want a treatment that will change who you are, and you may find that an opportunity to talk may even help you to discover parts of yourself you did not know about before.

Even if you were to take medication, your association of depression being a weakness and shaming might be an interesting thing to explore with someone if it is preventing you getting help?

Good Luck

 

[LostinReverie]

well, I went to the doc today and they prescribed me Cymbalta. I took one and I feel a bit nauseous and hot but here is to it helping!

Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts. I'm still not sure medication is for me, but I'm going to give it an honest try I think.

For those of you who do take medication, what do you take? and does it help? side effects?

 

[the mourner13]

well, I went to the doc today and they prescribed me Cymbalta. I took one and I feel a bit nauseous and hot but here is to it helping!

Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts. I'm still not sure medication is for me, but I'm going to give it an honest try I think.

For those of you who do take medication, what do you take? and does it help? side effects?

How could they prescribe you rgiht away? I mean I know nothing about these things but it's kinda weird..

 

[Demonite]

I'm posting this here because I value the opinions of those I know share my love for music that's always made me feel better. And lately, I've come to wonder whether I need to seek medicinal help.

I'm 28, I have my life ahead of me; graduating college in May, have a wonderful girlfriend, no debt, my health, yet something is awry. I feel lost at times, I let the littlest things in life are too much. I get irritated at the smallest of things. My girlfriend is slowly being pushed away by my irritability and mood swings.

So far in my life, I've self medicated: Pot, Alcohol, anti-anxiety drugs, money, girls. But that's all changed, and here I am. Depression runs deeply into my family; my mom attempted suicide and has manic depression, it's also on my fathers side.

My problem is I view it as weakness, and I don't want to change who I am. I love metal, I love my cynical, sarcastic side, I don't want to take a drug that will change who I am. I know I need it, but I don't want it. I think I'm too strong for some anti-depression drug, but I know I might need it.

So in my time of need, please give me advice. To those with depression, or those who have sought help, give me something to run with. Because I can't hide from this any more.

As a person with bi-polar disorder, I can relate to your problems. Here's how I look at it bro, depression is something that happens to all of us. No one is perfectly safe from the world's troubles. Depression is not a sign of weakness, but how you deal with it is the determining factor. I've been on 4 different medications, and I've torn myself apart looking for the keys to my existence. In the end, we all die, and eventually we are lost in time... No one will know about our deeds and no one will care. While this may be true, it shouldn't make you feel bad. It should make you live your life and have as much fun as possible. Find your reason to live. Unless you give life meaning, it has none, at least that's how I look at it. And hey, we'll never be able to comprehend the big picture, so you might as well enjoy what you have while you have it. And here's another thing, without suffering and pain, the good things in life mean nothing. After all, we have to have a standard in which to measure our pain correct? The pain is but the absence of what we care about... If you keep pushing forward, I promise that it will be worth it.

 

[Jinn]

Through my struggles with depression and severe anxiety, it all boils down to a simple solution:

It's only a weakness if you do nothing about it.

 

[Elennare]

I really know what you're talking about since I'm through something similar. I'm having professional help but what really helps is having your friends and family close to you, knowing what happens. It makes the whole situation easier.

But never, really, never feel ashamed. You're not guilty or anything like that, have it in mind.

 

[Dora]

I think it doesn't matter what it is, because it's real anyway, and life and time and chances go by. Maybe it's a good idea to find help, a psychologist, if you don't want drugs, and not because they could talk you out of it but there are many techniques, skills one can learn to cope with situations, feelings and so on. What others think doesn't matter, as long as you have doubts about yourself.. And whatever you do (or don't), it'll always be your choice, your life, your time. Get well!

 

[MiniMoose]

Lots of good advice here. Good people on this forum. And yes, they are right..to hell with shame. Doing nothing is the true weakness...I agree 100% with this.

You are 28? Good, had you been under 25 those anti-depressants should have been way harder to get.

You medication won't start to work until 2-4 weeks have gone by.

Side-effects: Nausea and dry mouth 1 out of 10 get that statistically from Cymbalta. Headache and dizziness is also within the 1 out of 10 range. I won't mention the rest..cause just the power of placebo is oh so big.

I'll give you the short version today since I feel it's in general very risky to give advice over the net. I work at a Acute Psychiatric ward and encounter a lot of differen't illnesses every day. I'll just give you the most important tip I can think of right now.

If you're going to get therapy, as you really really should, cause Antidepressants alone is seldom very good. Seek Cognitive Therapy. It's very well proven to be the best therapy for depression. And it makes you much more able to deal with this without medication after a while. I've actually bought Cognitive Therapy for Dummies cause also I have some minor depressive issues. And I must say that's it's a great way to learn about negative thought patterns which we all really have. Sure, a lot of it you know already probably, but a LOT of it isn't as obvious and the good thing is that you get many ways to deal with it when you read through a book like that (I say a book like that cause there's probably lots of others..but this one I know myself)

Or just go to a therapist...either way...make it a Cognitive Therapist, cause I promise you...it's way better than the "old way" cause it makes you less passive in the process and you don't need to talk about your childhood for too long as you probably will if you go to a psychologist who don't use cognitive therapy.

The second most important tip is: Don't just all of a sudden quit the medicine. It's very common for people to do it and it's NOT smart. Talk to your doctor before you do that, cause fucking around with drugs like this IS dangerous. Please take this advice and read it carefully...cause way to many lives have been lost because of sudden medicine stop. You will almost always get some really shitty side effects in the beginning of use, but most will go away after a while. If not..and you feel it's making things worse, talk to your doctor first and make him give you another medicine. There are many good options out there. And again...don't fuck around with this. It IS serious medicine. If you don't take it seriously and just think it's something to be taken lightly...you might be doing yourself great harm. Doctors can often just say this very quickly and sometimes they don't say it at all..but it IS serious stuff which you must be careful with.

Third tip...if you're a heavy drinker...try to cut down and find alternatives. Alcohol is VERY much related to depression.