It's baaaccckk... the joke corner!

[Wrathchild]

The eternal question, why did the chicken cross the road?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information

The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication.
In fact, we do not even have a chicken.


HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

GEORGE W BUSH


We don't care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

TONY BLAIR


I agree with George.

JOHN HOWARD

I agree with George and Tony.


KIM BEAZLEY

There is no challenge to the chicken at this stage, but if I were crossing the road ....

SIMON CREAN


@#@#!!@ Chicken. No one crosses the @#@#!!@ road without my @#@#!!@ say so. It's time for the chicken to put up or shut up.

PETER HOLLINGWORTH (Governor-General)

I am not aware of any impropriety in the chicken crossing the road. In fact I am led to believe that it was the other way around and the chicken asked for it.

DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


OPRAH

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but its not the only hen.

MICHAEL JACKSON


There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.

ARISTOTLE


It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.


ARSENE WENGER

What chicken? I did not see it.

ALEX FERGUSON

The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not bigger than this club.


SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and
internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.


ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON

I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!


THE BIBLE

And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

HOMER SIMPSON

Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n

W

 

[Blitzkrieg]

heres one my girlfriend told me this afternoon:

A man had been dating a beautiful woman for a long time,and he felt it was time for them to marry. As she came from a rich family, he thought he should propose properly, and went to her parents mansion to ask her father for his daughter's hand in marriage. When he arrived at the house, the father was not around, but the maid showed him to a room in which his girlfriend's mother sat, who was even sexier than the daughter. The mother was flirting with him outrageously, and eventially stated that she wanted to have sex with him, before he was a married man. Upon leaving the room, she told the man to think about it, and that she would be waiting in the bedroom, ready for a good romping. The man sat and thought about this, thinking of his beautiful girlfriend who he loved, then got up and walked out the front door. Walking towards his car, his girlfriend's father jumped out of the bushes and cried "my boy, you passed the test! you said no to my wife, and will therefore make a great and loyal husband for my daughter!!" and the two were happily married for years to come.



MORAL OF THE STORY: Always leave your condoms in the car.

 

[Winmar]

The 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

 

[phlogiston]

I'll admit Blitz's took me a little while to get. I read it and thought, that's not very fucking funny. Blitz has wasted my time, I'm very dissapointed in him. Then I read the moral, and nearly shat myself.