I'll post a stories a few of my mates made.
It's our fictional characer Lord Edge.
A bit of a description on Lord Edge. Lord Edge is a fat long haired greasy ignorant, arrogant bastard, he is the Lord of the Kingdom of Towne.
He has a cook named Cookie, A witty Jester named... Jester, and a few other characters.
Lying in a cold sweat, Lord Edge knew it was that time of day again. The royal jewels that dangled between the thick tree trucks known as Lord Edge's legs had become mad with itching, the same type of itching you get from 1000 wasps stinging the bollocks off you. Ringing the bell to summon the royal Bollox scratchers, Lord Edge awaited patiently upon their arrival. Ten minutes had passed and they still hadn't arrived, so quite naturally Lord Edge became infuriated as his itch was getting worse. Seeing Lord Edge had not seen his jewels and todger since he was a little edgling due to his fat pot belly, it was impossible for Lord Edge to scratch himself.
Rising slowly from his bed, Edge rolled downstairs to the royal Bollox scratchers chamber. "I have not made sweet love to my wife in over 25 years" said a deeply saddened Boris Bollox. He continued "not after my wife got..." then he trailed off. Explosively, Lord Edge entered the room and roared "You little shite, bow to my might! End now your frolics and scratch my bollocks." A whimpering Pigmy Bollox chirped "No, why should we?" "You DARE question me little man? To the beheading chambers both of you! As further punishment...I shall ravish and have my way with your wife Boris!!" Lord Edge then chuckled and joined his fingers and a fit of glee. As he had his way with Boris' wife, fits of laughter could be heard from Boris and Pigmy. The laughter could be heard all around the castle which provoked an ill tempered demon to surface within Lord Edge. The royal jester who was present in the room Lord Edge was shagging in started to snigger at his fat master. "What is jesting you faithful jester?" inquired Lord Edge.
"Oh sire, didst thou not know why Boris had not rogered his fair maiden in 25 years?" Lord Edge looked at his witty jester, a look as blank as the sperm he produces. Continuing the jester explained "She has stage 4 syphilis." Oh if only Lord Edge knew his fate. On top of him being ugly, fat and retarded, he was to turn blind and his little burnt Edge would depart from him.
In saying this, the worst had still to come. It seems that not all of Lord Edges sperm were blanks. Boris wife gave birth to many mini Edges, each as hideous and disgusting as their father. Tragically after birth the mother died, not because of child labour or her prolonged stage 4 syphilis, but because the ugly babies were so horrid she took a heart attack. From that moment Lord Edge became both mother and father of his hideous sprogs, who sucked his breasts dry and and used all his government benefits on drugs. With looks resembling the hunchback of notre damme you would feed your cocaine addiction too to act as a cushion from the harsh realities of life.
Lord Edge's untimely death came about one night, when a blind intoxicated Edge who had spent the night drinking away his sorrows stumbled into the Bollox's chambers and impaled his fat body on the royal scratching rake. Reports say he looked like a skewered tortoise with a pineapple head. If Lord Edge had have been a religious man instead of a self glorified fuck, he would have lived by "You must not commit adultery", so how's that for fuckin irony eh?
It's our fictional characer Lord Edge.
A bit of a description on Lord Edge. Lord Edge is a fat long haired greasy ignorant, arrogant bastard, he is the Lord of the Kingdom of Towne.
He has a cook named Cookie, A witty Jester named... Jester, and a few other characters.
Lying in a cold sweat, Lord Edge knew it was that time of day again. The royal jewels that dangled between the thick tree trucks known as Lord Edge's legs had become mad with itching, the same type of itching you get from 1000 wasps stinging the bollocks off you. Ringing the bell to summon the royal Bollox scratchers, Lord Edge awaited patiently upon their arrival. Ten minutes had passed and they still hadn't arrived, so quite naturally Lord Edge became infuriated as his itch was getting worse. Seeing Lord Edge had not seen his jewels and todger since he was a little edgling due to his fat pot belly, it was impossible for Lord Edge to scratch himself.
Rising slowly from his bed, Edge rolled downstairs to the royal Bollox scratchers chamber. "I have not made sweet love to my wife in over 25 years" said a deeply saddened Boris Bollox. He continued "not after my wife got..." then he trailed off. Explosively, Lord Edge entered the room and roared "You little shite, bow to my might! End now your frolics and scratch my bollocks." A whimpering Pigmy Bollox chirped "No, why should we?" "You DARE question me little man? To the beheading chambers both of you! As further punishment...I shall ravish and have my way with your wife Boris!!" Lord Edge then chuckled and joined his fingers and a fit of glee. As he had his way with Boris' wife, fits of laughter could be heard from Boris and Pigmy. The laughter could be heard all around the castle which provoked an ill tempered demon to surface within Lord Edge. The royal jester who was present in the room Lord Edge was shagging in started to snigger at his fat master. "What is jesting you faithful jester?" inquired Lord Edge.
"Oh sire, didst thou not know why Boris had not rogered his fair maiden in 25 years?" Lord Edge looked at his witty jester, a look as blank as the sperm he produces. Continuing the jester explained "She has stage 4 syphilis." Oh if only Lord Edge knew his fate. On top of him being ugly, fat and retarded, he was to turn blind and his little burnt Edge would depart from him.
In saying this, the worst had still to come. It seems that not all of Lord Edges sperm were blanks. Boris wife gave birth to many mini Edges, each as hideous and disgusting as their father. Tragically after birth the mother died, not because of child labour or her prolonged stage 4 syphilis, but because the ugly babies were so horrid she took a heart attack. From that moment Lord Edge became both mother and father of his hideous sprogs, who sucked his breasts dry and and used all his government benefits on drugs. With looks resembling the hunchback of notre damme you would feed your cocaine addiction too to act as a cushion from the harsh realities of life.
Lord Edge's untimely death came about one night, when a blind intoxicated Edge who had spent the night drinking away his sorrows stumbled into the Bollox's chambers and impaled his fat body on the royal scratching rake. Reports say he looked like a skewered tortoise with a pineapple head. If Lord Edge had have been a religious man instead of a self glorified fuck, he would have lived by "You must not commit adultery", so how's that for fuckin irony eh?
