Mall Metal

[Kvlt Wench]

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWNNNNNNNNN

DUN NUH NUHHH NUH
DUH NUH NUHHH NUUHHH NUHHHHH

 

[Captain Beard]

That song is so silly it hurts. I do wonder why more silly power metal bands haven't covered it yet.

 

[lad]

There can be only one.

That'll be me, Ted.

 

[Captain Beard]

You'll take on Connor MacLeod?

 

[Malergion]

No, I think he wants to take on Vercingetorix, but he might settle for Beowulf.

 

[lad]

No, I think he wants to take on Vercingetorix, but he might settle for Beowulf.

Fucking hell, that's his name? And sure I'll take on some French faux-Scot slightly pish actor. Shouldnae be too troublesome.

 

[Captain Beard]

God, if its the Lambert Beowulf, he can HAVE it.

 

[Malergion]

Go Scotland!

 

[Captain Beard]

I like kilts and bagpipes anyway.

 

[lad]

God, if its the Lambert Beowulf, he can HAVE it.

Naw, cheers.

 

[Captain Beard]

Please for the love of Odin. Have you ever SEEN that movie?

 

[Malergion]

I don't think he has. I believe it was banned in Scotland because theatre owners were worried about the physical integrity of their screens.

 

[lad]

I vaguely recall seeing some of it, then doing something else since I thought what I'd seen was shite.

 

[Captain Beard]

This wasn't just shite.

Glenn, how mad did I get?

 

[Malergion]

I think we actually tried summoning Satan to destroy the movie.

 

[lad]

Wait, so we're talking worse than the Mortal Kombat sequel bad, then?

 

[Malergion]

His makeup wasn't as bad in Beowulf, but the acting was at least twice as bad.

 

[Captain Beard]

It was BAD.

 

[lad]

Love how insulted you both are. Any early Bruce Lee movie has to feature the borderline worst acting ever, in my viewing experience.

 

[Captain Beard]

Damn you, go watch it and see.