Metal Heads different ways of saving the Princess.

Spruce Goose

Then Goose me up woman!
Apr 17, 2001
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This is the situation....there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon......here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.....


POWER METAL:

the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:

the protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and f**ks her.........easy

HEAVY METAL:

the protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and f**ks the princess

FOLK METAL:

the protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing)...then all leave....without the princess

VIKING METAL:

the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving

DEATH METAL:

the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess and kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:

the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle.....then sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the princess next to the dragon

GORE METAL:

the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts.....then he f**ks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the last time

DOOM METAL:

the protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert...that's the end of the sad story

PROGRESIVE METAL:

the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the technics and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory...the princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:

the protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearence and let him enter.....he steals the princess make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color