Guitar legend Eddie Van Halen is reported to be near death today following complications related to a degenerative aging disorder. Doctors say the rocker, who's recently battled cancer, alcoholism, and hip replacement, "has the body of a man at least twice his age."
"Don't worry, I'm going to make it," Van Halen said through a band spokesman. "There's no way I'm going to let that fucker David Lee Roth outlast me. Rock on!"