Metalcore song in the works! Writing advice please :)

[abaga129]

Hey my band is working on a new song that is very different from anything we've written before. I really want some feedback on what everyone thinks about it as far as song writing! It doesnt have Unclean vocals recorded yet but i will update the link when it does. The cleans are recorded but i cant get them to set right in the mix to save my life... so i did what anyone would do.. drowned them in reverb haha some feedback on the mix would be cool too. (i know its awful at the moment)
Also the guitar tracks are rough. I recorded as i wrote so they are pretty sloppy. Will be fixing this soon!

Well here it is.

 

[Gujukal]

Really liked the intro. Maybe u should put that on a separate track and make it a bit longer to have it as the intro track on an ep for an example. The rest of the song is ok, the "chorus" has much potential, The riffs was pretty good but a bit generic. The breakdowns sound really off in a bad way, they are not like ABR breakdowns which have some complex rhythms but still flows really nice. This breakdowns have some odd rhythms but lack the flow to make the listener wanna headbang. The song has some potential though

 

[abaga129]

Really liked the intro. Maybe u should put that on a separate track and make it a bit longer to have it as the intro track on an ep for an example. The rest of the song is ok, the "chorus" has much potential, The riffs was pretty good but a bit generic. The breakdowns sound really off in a bad way, they are not like ABR breakdowns which have some complex rhythms but still flows really nice. This breakdowns have some odd rhythms but lack the flow to make the listener wanna headbang. The song has some potential though

thanks for the input man! When you say the breakdowns sound off do you think it is partially just because i played them like shit? I know they are off on parts but im not sure if thats what you're hearing. or maybe its a mix problem? (i always have trouble making everything gel together during breakdowns)
I will keep all of this in mind though!

 

[Gujukal]

I think it would sound a lot better if you played the breakdowns and some of the riffs tighter, you should also really looking into quantitize those parts to get that extreme tight sound you hear in Joey Sturgis productions. It will be pretty boring to editing it but there is no shortcut to badass breakdowns

 

[Jaosix]

The drums/bass sound decent together overall. The guitars are a bit too upfront/scratchy. And in the beginning after the guitars start playing, it feels like the mix is really lopsided to the left. Also, the vocals definitely need to cut through the mix a lot better. I think if you cut back the guitars a tad it would sound a lot better. Also, you'd have a really well-widened mix if you panned your cymbals a bit more and turned them up a tad, maybe 2-4db. And in the breakdown, there are really only a few notes that are off near the end of the it, and you could just easily quantize those.

One more thing, if you got some ambient type stuff and synth playing really quietly in the background of that intro, i think it would sound even better lol Reminds me of something Vildhjarta would do. Hope this helps!

 

[abaga129]

I think it would sound a lot better if you played the breakdowns and some of the riffs tighter, you should also really looking into quantitize those parts to get that extreme tight sound you hear in Joey Sturgis productions. It will be pretty boring to editing it but there is no shortcut to badass breakdowns

Haha definitely! I plan on quantizing them but there isnt much point right now since i plan on retracking all of the guitar parts with new strings.
Thanks again for the feedback though!

 

[abaga129]

The drums/bass sound decent together overall. The guitars are a bit too upfront/scratchy. And in the beginning after the guitars start playing, it feels like the mix is really lopsided to the left. Also, the vocals definitely need to cut through the mix a lot better. I think if you cut back the guitars a tad it would sound a lot better. Also, you'd have a really well-widened mix if you panned your cymbals a bit more and turned them up a tad, maybe 2-4db. And in the breakdown, there are really only a few notes that are off near the end of the it, and you could just easily quantize those.

One more thing, if you got some ambient type stuff and synth playing really quietly in the background of that intro, i think it would sound even better lol Reminds me of something Vildhjarta would do. Hope this helps!

Thanks for the feedback!
That thing that you are hearing in the beginning is actually because i only tracked that riff once and copied to the other guitar I will work on the tone though! How do you usually pan your cymbals?

 

[iarebrandon]

something going on with the panning. guitar left is louder than guitar right. turn the vocals up. the guitars sound raw. you need some surgical eq for the fizz, and hi and low pass. agree about the sloppiness. cleaner playing will help glue everything together...

 

[abaga129]

something going on with the panning. guitar left is louder than guitar right. turn the vocals up. the guitars sound raw. you need some surgical eq for the fizz, and hi and low pass. agree about the sloppiness. cleaner playing will help glue everything together...

Alright, like i said this is just a rough recording. I plan on retracking everything.
When you guys notch guitars what do you usually go for as in how wide do you typically set the Q and how far can you subtract the frequencies with out doing some serious damage to your tone?

 

[iarebrandon]

oh okay. i didnt realize you had said writing advice so thats my bad. the song i like. especially vocals.

for notching it kinda depends the cab or impulse, but its close to 4k usually. you can notch out as much as 18db as long as the q is set appropriately. my most commonly used setting for fizz is -10db q of 30 in waves Q8 EQ.

 

[abaga129]

Okay thanks! I'm surprised you like the cleans consider how badly mixed they are at the moment haha.
I typically use the pod farm tredplate 4x12 or a mesa 4x12 impulse with a HP at 100hz and LP at 12k. I never really know where to notch
Them or how much but I'll try around 4k like you said

 

[iarebrandon]

i know for fact the annoying freq are at 4000 - 4100 on the treadplate. a good eq for it would be 100-125 hi pass, surgical eq at 4k, 10-12k low pass, maybe cut some at 800 and i also cut some around 400-500 sometimes.

 

[abaga129]

i know for fact the annoying freq are at 4000 - 4100 on the treadplate. a good eq for it would be 100-125 hi pass, surgical eq at 4k, 10-12k low pass, maybe cut some at 800 and i also cut some around 400-500 sometimes.

Sweet man that will help me out a lot