Peewee's Playhouse:
Authorities invaded the popular t.v. set turned homeless shelter last night, only to find a plethora of various atrocities. When first walking in they encountered a hispanic man poking a woman with a spoon, repeating over and over, "My burrito needs lard. My burrito needs lard." The woman could do nothing but allow the man to continue the spooning, saying that it turned her on.
Walking further through the facility, they came upon what is now believed to be one of Michael Jackson's former pet chimpanzees, in a corner shooting up heroin while furiously masturbating to a photograph of Jackson hanging on the wall in front of him. When the 3 officers walked towards the ape he blew his load on their faces, then collapsed into a lethargic state of euphoria from the herion. At that time the chimp involuntarily defacated and was left to writhe in his own feces. At that point the investigating officers decided it was time to leave, and to return later that evening with a SWAT team.
Upon arrival back at the police station, the officers were horribly mocked and scoffed at for the chimpanzee semen dried onto their faces and uniforms. A moment later Michael Jackson was hauled into the station for shoplifting from the fake nose store, and immediately recognized the scent of the semen on the officers. He then began shouting, demanding that they take him to the chimpanzee.
After being bribed with 15 million dollars and Jackson's slightly used edible underwear, the police department decided to allow Jackson to accompany the SWAT team as they invaded the playhouse. Upon entrance into the playhouse, Jackson began running trying to find his beloved chimp, whom he then said was named "Pillow." After what seemed to be ages of slipping around in the jellied sepsis of the facility's floor while shouting "Pillow! Pillow! I need you Pillow!," Jackson came upon Pillow, who was again shooting up, but masturbating to a photo of Danny Glover instead.
Jackson saw his own photo laying on the floor, obviously not being used for Pillow's pleasure any longer. Jackson became very angered by this and instead of embracing his long lost chimpanzee, he proceeded to shoot up and masturbate to his photograph himself. A few moments later Jackson collapsed, also defacating involuntarily while a pair of alcoholic siamese twin boars watched in glee. The sound of their fleas applauding could even be heard.
During this time the invading SWAT team had become mesmerized by a mummy of a female gypsy, a woman believed to have died in the playhouse 8 years ago from reversed fetal tampon disease. The members of the team began taking part in necrophilia with the old corpse and have not been heard from since. We only know this because of the constant video surveillance that is available for viewing in our employee break room.
When asked if he knows anything of the shenanigans taking place in his former place of employment, ex Peewee portrayer Paul Rubens had this comment, "I should have never eaten the sausage."
Authorities invaded the popular t.v. set turned homeless shelter last night, only to find a plethora of various atrocities. When first walking in they encountered a hispanic man poking a woman with a spoon, repeating over and over, "My burrito needs lard. My burrito needs lard." The woman could do nothing but allow the man to continue the spooning, saying that it turned her on.
Walking further through the facility, they came upon what is now believed to be one of Michael Jackson's former pet chimpanzees, in a corner shooting up heroin while furiously masturbating to a photograph of Jackson hanging on the wall in front of him. When the 3 officers walked towards the ape he blew his load on their faces, then collapsed into a lethargic state of euphoria from the herion. At that time the chimp involuntarily defacated and was left to writhe in his own feces. At that point the investigating officers decided it was time to leave, and to return later that evening with a SWAT team.
Upon arrival back at the police station, the officers were horribly mocked and scoffed at for the chimpanzee semen dried onto their faces and uniforms. A moment later Michael Jackson was hauled into the station for shoplifting from the fake nose store, and immediately recognized the scent of the semen on the officers. He then began shouting, demanding that they take him to the chimpanzee.
After being bribed with 15 million dollars and Jackson's slightly used edible underwear, the police department decided to allow Jackson to accompany the SWAT team as they invaded the playhouse. Upon entrance into the playhouse, Jackson began running trying to find his beloved chimp, whom he then said was named "Pillow." After what seemed to be ages of slipping around in the jellied sepsis of the facility's floor while shouting "Pillow! Pillow! I need you Pillow!," Jackson came upon Pillow, who was again shooting up, but masturbating to a photo of Danny Glover instead.
Jackson saw his own photo laying on the floor, obviously not being used for Pillow's pleasure any longer. Jackson became very angered by this and instead of embracing his long lost chimpanzee, he proceeded to shoot up and masturbate to his photograph himself. A few moments later Jackson collapsed, also defacating involuntarily while a pair of alcoholic siamese twin boars watched in glee. The sound of their fleas applauding could even be heard.
During this time the invading SWAT team had become mesmerized by a mummy of a female gypsy, a woman believed to have died in the playhouse 8 years ago from reversed fetal tampon disease. The members of the team began taking part in necrophilia with the old corpse and have not been heard from since. We only know this because of the constant video surveillance that is available for viewing in our employee break room.
When asked if he knows anything of the shenanigans taking place in his former place of employment, ex Peewee portrayer Paul Rubens had this comment, "I should have never eaten the sausage."
