mosy unlikely tv show to make a reference to the lord of the rings
- Thread starter Baliset
- Start date
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
i can't say for sure but i was eating dinner and just didn't have the energy to change the station from Fox.
chupe666
You may enter up to 25 ch
deadair
Overly-Cryptic Jake
last night tv for me=ED...
don't know why, but i love that show. well, i know i don't mind looking at the blonde... mmmmmmmmmm
don't know why, but i love that show. well, i know i don't mind looking at the blonde... mmmmmmmmmm
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Why Blade II Sucked
1. Wrestling maneuvers. Vampires are killed using suplexes and flying elbow drops. I'm dead serious.
2. The fight direction was atrocious (which is especially bad in an action film like this). Take the big sewer-tunnel fight scene against the Reaper vampires. By the end, the swarming Reaper actors are just grouped around Blade and the other heroes, flailing their arms in the air, not even trying to bite or kill them, while Blade swings his gun-toting arms back and forth like a sugared-up four-year-old having a tantrum, and they're not quite able to do rapid enough cuts to mask the fact that no one is really dying, Blade's guns aren't shaking with kickback, nothing. They're filming a bunch of guys waving their arms in the air and calling it a fight scene.
3. The humanization of vampires to the extent they're not fucking vampires anymore. Blade uses silver bullets and knives, so the most glancing blow causes the vampires in Blade to disintegrate into a fiery mess. Part of the cool horror of vampires is how resistant they are to damage...why strip that from them and make them basically ugly humans? The TV series Kindred: the Embraced did this, too, by introducing fire bullets in its first episode (which everyone used), and saying ""Oh, vampires can walk around during the daytime!"". Great, so now a single shot kills a vampire and they don't have to sleep during the day. They transformed a neat world into the setting for a soap opera, throwing out all the intriguing conflicts a vampire would face (which could maybe be metaphors for our conflicts) and turning them into straightforward human conflicts.
4. The esteemed Ron Perlman shouting ""SUCK IT!"" and firing into a crowd of hopping, ineffectual vampires. Then again, he was in Alien4, so he's not immune to the evil force of Suck...
To Blade II's credit, the ""new vampires"" they introduced were immune to silver, so they (to an extremely small degree) reclaimed some of the good ol' ass-kicking vampire legend. Immediately after they discovered silver was useless, though, Blade invented 'sun grenades' which were even better. So, uh, fuck that.
Oh, but to Blade II's genuine credit, there was one cool shot that lasted about six seconds. They were in a vampire dance club with much gory debauchery going on, and two vampires were seen embracing, unwrapping double-edged razor blades (while still staring into each others' eyes) with exactly the same motions as a couple unwrapping a condom, placed the razor blades on their tongues, and then leaned in to kiss. The camera intelligently cuts away as their lips meet. Great shot, with implied gore, inhumanity, dark & bloody sex, etc. That's my eight bucks.
1. Wrestling maneuvers. Vampires are killed using suplexes and flying elbow drops. I'm dead serious.
2. The fight direction was atrocious (which is especially bad in an action film like this). Take the big sewer-tunnel fight scene against the Reaper vampires. By the end, the swarming Reaper actors are just grouped around Blade and the other heroes, flailing their arms in the air, not even trying to bite or kill them, while Blade swings his gun-toting arms back and forth like a sugared-up four-year-old having a tantrum, and they're not quite able to do rapid enough cuts to mask the fact that no one is really dying, Blade's guns aren't shaking with kickback, nothing. They're filming a bunch of guys waving their arms in the air and calling it a fight scene.
3. The humanization of vampires to the extent they're not fucking vampires anymore. Blade uses silver bullets and knives, so the most glancing blow causes the vampires in Blade to disintegrate into a fiery mess. Part of the cool horror of vampires is how resistant they are to damage...why strip that from them and make them basically ugly humans? The TV series Kindred: the Embraced did this, too, by introducing fire bullets in its first episode (which everyone used), and saying ""Oh, vampires can walk around during the daytime!"". Great, so now a single shot kills a vampire and they don't have to sleep during the day. They transformed a neat world into the setting for a soap opera, throwing out all the intriguing conflicts a vampire would face (which could maybe be metaphors for our conflicts) and turning them into straightforward human conflicts.
4. The esteemed Ron Perlman shouting ""SUCK IT!"" and firing into a crowd of hopping, ineffectual vampires. Then again, he was in Alien4, so he's not immune to the evil force of Suck...
To Blade II's credit, the ""new vampires"" they introduced were immune to silver, so they (to an extremely small degree) reclaimed some of the good ol' ass-kicking vampire legend. Immediately after they discovered silver was useless, though, Blade invented 'sun grenades' which were even better. So, uh, fuck that.
Oh, but to Blade II's genuine credit, there was one cool shot that lasted about six seconds. They were in a vampire dance club with much gory debauchery going on, and two vampires were seen embracing, unwrapping double-edged razor blades (while still staring into each others' eyes) with exactly the same motions as a couple unwrapping a condom, placed the razor blades on their tongues, and then leaned in to kiss. The camera intelligently cuts away as their lips meet. Great shot, with implied gore, inhumanity, dark & bloody sex, etc. That's my eight bucks.
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