Mothers...

[Caelestia]

I apologize in advance if this thread is considered spam and should offend anyone (that was not an invitation to flame me ). Mother's Day is coming up, and I need to write an ad for it. I'm thinking of different analogies for mothers.

For example:
Mothers are like nightmares. They make you sit up and realise how lucky you are.
Mothers are like omelettes. They help you start your day with caring and smell good. The real beauty is what’s inside.
Mothers are like toilets. They provide relief, a place to go in time of need and flush away all the bad stuff.

If anyone feels like contributing or talking about their mothers, this would be the thread for it. It's better if the analogies have a slight twist without being too farfetched, disgusting or cold. Don't be shy now, even if you've come up with something such as "Mothers are like cucumbers. Because they're like, so cool!"

Thanks

 

[KoichCPA]

Mothers are like Nazi's, always putting things in the oven.

 

[Caelestia]

You silly silly man...

 

[Lina]

I can't wait for rahvin's contribution to this thread.

 

[rahvin]

mothers are like the rolling stones, they were done giving the best of themselves at least 25 years ago

koich's was hilarious.

@lina: you give me too much credit as usual...

 

[Caelestia]

well, shite, i guess everyone else was brought by the stork ;p

 

[rahvin]

well, shite, i guess everyone else was brought by the stork ;p

i wish i was. unfortunately, i spent about nine months and a half in a stupid woman's womb, until the doctors informed her that i was trying to suffocate myself with the umbilical cord, and if she wanted to wait (...) or for them to operate and take me out even though i had no intention of doing so myself. apparently, my mommy dearest replied on the lines of "oh please just take this thing out of me, i can't take it anymore" and so i came to this world, on the 12th of may of almost 27 years ago. what an endearing story.

 

[Caelestia]

that's the most touching introduction to a life i've ever read :'(

why is she a stupid woman though?

 

[rahvin]

why is she a stupid woman though?

trust me, she is. the list of reasons would hijack this thread and take it for a round trip to pluto.

 

[Caelestia]

awwwww. she can't be stupid if she had you. must be her wisest decision then

 

[Rusty]

Hah, I was two weeks late as well. However the problem parent at my birth was my father, who decided to faint.

 

[KoichCPA]

My massive baby head got stuck in my mothers vagina and they had cut me out through her tummy and drag my feet through all sorts of body organs.

 

[rahvin]

My massive baby head got stuck in my mothers vagina and they had cut me out through her tummy and drag my feet through all sorts of body organs.

if only rotten.com had already been invented, you could have been a rich man.

 

[metal17]

haha...good one

 

[KoichCPA]

Mothers are like 2 minute noodles, always there when you have no money.
Mothers are like Mr T. Helpful to have around, but don't piss them off.
Mothers are like Barney the dinosaur, They like having kids around, but no one suspects a thing.

 

[rahvin]

Mothers are like 2 minute noodles, always there when you have no money.

honorary advertiser of the year! there's no competition, really.

 

[Caelestia]

Josh, have you tried stand up comedy?

 

[KoichCPA]

No, I limit my on stage activities to bad karaoke versions of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

 

[hyena]

there was a hilarious calvin and hobbes line saying

mothers are the necessity of all inventions

but i'm afraid it's copyrighted.

 

[Skald]

Mothers are like Microsoft - their desperate yearning to transfer their vision of life to you can be compared only to its uselessness