My first mix.

Yeah this forum is pretty dead for that. Good luck trying to get help with your music lol. But the mix doesn't sound bad for a first mix (I'm not a pro or anything). The guitars sound a bit weak. No bass? Or maybe just not a good amp sim. The mix is pretty good just the guitars sound weak.
 
Ok, so first of all I think that drums are waaay to compresed. They lack of space a bit too. Maybe you could try gating that bass hard and then compress the hell out of it in order to achieve that power you seem to be looking for. Be sure to eq each part so it has a place to stand out and be heard. Right now it's a bit to muddy and all over the place.

BUT! It's a really great first mix, you just picked a difficult song to start with.