Need help in maintaing unruly bandmates

[zabrak]

Not that I have any unruly bandmates yet, but I'm looking for advice on how to avoid as much of that drama as I can, you know.

Basically looking to avoid a Dave Mustaine type of an episode:

You know, when a band member's problems continue to fester, and because they've gone unnoticed, they reach a boiling point which ends in his firing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Mustaine

plethora of other examples in bands, too.

At first I figured to create some sort of a strike system.

You know, if you were to repeatedly miss deadlines for certain things, you'd receive a strike. Perhaps 10 strikes and you'd be out, or even more/less, depending on the severity of it.


The problem with a system like that, is that passive-aggressive ways of doing things always ends up in creating more problem than it attempts to end. That, and the bandmates would feel like they're in grade school all over again.


It's just that I'm trying to come up with some sort of system that'll help bandmates quit repeating problems, if (when?) they were to arise. I know that simple 1:1 talks with them likely wouldn't end it.

Have any advice?

 

[executioner]

You probably already realize this and are trying to find a way around it....but here goes.

There really is no way to control your bandmates, they are going to do what thwy are going to do....unless there is a compeling internal reason for them not to do it. That reason has to come from within not from a system of checks and balances.

your example was megaDave. Even he admits that nothing they could have done then would probably have made a difference. No amount of strikes will help, about the only thing you can do is have a band meeting not one on one and say

hey, I don't want to be a band mom, but there are some thing we need to address. Behavior x is causing problems and if we are going to get anywhere it needs to stop, we don't do all this to have problems, and the problems are more common than the fun.

get everyone on the same page and let it be known that there os a zero tolerence policy for whatever the behavior is. Then hold everyone includimg yourself to the policy. If the band member(s) in question don't care enough to change what they are doing, they don't want to be where they are badly enough and they've made the decision themselves...it's time to man up or kove on. Music is fun....but also a responsibility. Those who aren't willing to to be responsible for taking care of not just themselves but everyone in the band aren't usually worth the pain and energy it takes to keep them.

You shouldn't be the only one who is willing to work at being in a band, and that means responsibility to each other, not causing pain and drama.

theres more to be said but I hope you get the idea, because I'm tired of typing now...lol

 

[joshinthesilence]

Hey Zabrak, Josh from In the Silence here facebook.com/intheislence.
Having been in bands for a long time, I can tell you, keeping a lineup together is the hardest thing. It takes a lot of patience. You have to be willing to overlook some flaws and differences and just accept people for who they are sometimes. I have friends who could be very successful right now, except they kept firing people every time some little drama came up. A band is like a family, and you're going to have differences, arguments, etc. Try to find people who you get along with well, and have good chemistry with, and that share you're level of excitement about the music. You never want some negative person who is always casting doubt or cynicism on you're goals and ambitions. it's not easy, and that's why so few bands make it. But patience is the key. And a good level of empathy and communication skills. My bandmates will tell you I'm not always great at this, but so far we're still together! Keeping band morale high takes a lot of work, setting realistic goals, and having rewards for your progress. And Executioner is right. You have to set the example, and if someone is really screwing up, it's best to pull them aside one one one first, rather than yell at them in front of the whole band. Anyway, those are my thoughts for now!

 

[executioner]

Josh there hit the opposite side of the coin there....I kinda took the hardline...but that is me assuming there is a serious issue (which I've gone through many). So honestly blend the 2 answers and I think you've got a genuine approach.