Oedipus: The greatest essay you'll ever read... ever.
- Thread starter Kronikle66
- Start date
Also the fact that the "teacher" makes grammar mistakes ("Page is to big") kinda suggests that it wasn't really marked by a teacher 
Unless even the teachers in america are dumb fucks
Only pulling ur legs guys
Unless even the teachers in america are dumb fucks
Only pulling ur legs guys
-Gavin-
Gavornator
Missiles
Confusing avatar! :O
Hey, I'm Spanish and I didn't get offended, and I laughed a lot.
Anyway, stereotypes are shit, we are not bullfighters.
Anyway, stereotypes are shit, we are not bullfighters.
ABQShredHead
©1970
urinalcakemix
man who plays drum
handwriting clearly too underdeveloped and childlike to be actual grades, plus who takes off -1 for swears? LAst kid who swore in an essay got 3 nights detention and 0 on the assignment =/. Well he DID swear like 15 times, twas a beautiful essay
Well off course he dislikes Spanish speakers, look at his location, he is from Portugal, his people only got Brazil speaking their language while Spain got Colombia, Mexico, Peru, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Argentina, Venezuela, Ecuador, Chile, Etc Hell they even got some colony in Africa where they too speak spanish....DarkMare said:
And there is no need to flame me back cuz I just couldn't help to keep my mouth shut.
weenur
Loving gloomy Phoenix
That writer is either a genious or needs to seek help in a serious way. I'm leaning towards the latter.
-Gavin-
Gavornator
Dieblo said:Well off course he dislikes Spanish speakers, look at his location, he is from Portugal, his people only got Brazil speaking their language while Spain got Colombia, Mexico, Peru, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Argentina, Venezuela, Ecuador, Chile, Etc Hell they even got some colony in Africa where they too speak spanish....
And there is no need to flame me back cuz I just couldn't help to keep my mouth shut.
Dude, he was joking...
Rose Immortal
Spirit of Hope
- Jun 19, 2004
- 1,425
- 10
- 38
My favorite lines are from the lightning essay:
"There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the tree and kill your soul."
"There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the tree and kill your soul."
MagSec4
.:..::.: :.::..:.
solefald
Vheissu
soundgarden
I know how to be cool !
Here are some analogies used on essays (i found this on another forum)
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across thegrassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other
from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.
22. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a
college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame - Maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something.
24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.
26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
28. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
29. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to the wall. (Accidentally?.... Never mind.)
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across thegrassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other
from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for a while.
22. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a
college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame - Maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something.
24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with power tools.
26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
28. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
29. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to the wall. (Accidentally?.... Never mind.)
TotenMitMacht
JESUSCHRISTONACRUTCH
- Jan 31, 2004
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- 0
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Rose Immortal
Spirit of Hope
- Jun 19, 2004
- 1,425
- 10
- 38
Some of those are actually pretty good and belong in a book. Some don't.
But I can see why teachers would flip.
Speaking of #30...I HAVE accidentally stapled my finger trying to fire staples at somebody back when I was in high school. The teacher didn't send me to the office, figuring I'd punished myself enough.
But I can see why teachers would flip.
Speaking of #30...I HAVE accidentally stapled my finger trying to fire staples at somebody back when I was in high school. The teacher didn't send me to the office, figuring I'd punished myself enough.
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