I'm still a free man so you must not be doing a good enough job.
Things I've eaten: Jellyfish, pigeon, turtle, lotus root, duck feet, squid, octopus, various organs of many animals, and corn wine (creamed corn in a glass). The crab costs $20 per crab and there small but apparently they're in season. Very expensive. College grad engineers make $500 a month and that's decent money.
There's also some weird ass street instrument that sounds like a flute but it's really a string instrument. Some street musician was playing it. I gave him 2 yaun (7 yaun (I think that's how it's spelled) to a dollar so I guess I'm still cheap).
Also, the women over here are all amazingly gorgeous (if you like asian women, which I do). There's no such thing as overweight. It must be the rice because they seem to eat more than I do.
If you are planning a trip oversees, screw Europe. Go to China. It's fucking amazing. Best experience of my life and my company is paying for it.