Rate my newb recording

Vocals sound great, not sure if they fit though.

Bass if very clicky, maybe try low passing it.
 
Diggin the song!!! but the mix needs abit of work.

The kick needs some low end, the snare i cant hear.
Id leave the vocals for now.
The guitars are abit harsh, maybe try scooping the mids or decreasing 2-5K region.
 
Just out of curiosity, are those the lyrics from dysfunctional hours of that Nuclear Blast colaboration album?
 
Yes the lyrics are from dysfunctional hours. Some of the chording is similar as well. Just a scratch track to practice tracking/mixing.