Rate My Poo!
- Thread starter ThraxMan
- Start date
I had a buddy in high school, well actually he is still my buddy, but anyway, he had some "problem" where he could only shit once a week or so. I think he shit himself alot in elementary. Well, when he did shit, it was a weeks worth, so these were logs. He had one huge log that another guy spotted (our school had no stalls, to keep people from smoking) and that guy ( Bipolar Tom, a mutual buddy) insisted Diehldo (the shitter) keep that turd, 'cause it may come in handy. So, he picked it up and put it in a grocery bag, and threw it in his trunk. He named that turd "Matilda" A few weeks later, Bipolar Tom's ex g/f stabbed him in the ear with a pencil!!!! To this day his eq. is whacked!! So Diehldo got Matilda out of his trunk after school and put it in the girls locker. Good times, good times.
Tatman, that is one of the most fucked up stories I've ever heard. Seriously. I'm sitting here trying to eat mets and they all look like big turds....
j
j
I aim to please!!!
One day I'll tell you about the time Scary Larry and Fat Tony had a contest to see who could shit themselves
The loser had to keep the winners soiled briefs in thier bedroom!One time, me and my buddy Jon were going to Daytona, and we knew we were going to be drinking on the way down, and we wanted to make good time, so we didn't want to have to stop for bathroom breaks. One of us (I honestly can't remember which) had the bright idea of buying Depend undergarments so we wouldn't have to stop to piss. You should have seen the look on the face of the checkout girl when we got to the counter with ten cases of beer and a pack of Depends. The only problem was, after years of condititoning, it's not that easy to make yourself piss your pants. Jon:"Just go, man!" Me:"I can't!" We were somewhere North of Tennessee when we pulled off to the side of the interstate, jumped out of the car, ripped off the diapers and relieved ourselves on the side of the road. As TD would say, Good times. Good times....
j
(What do old peoples' butts smell like?
I dunno, depends.)
j
(What do old peoples' butts smell like?
I dunno, depends.)
Beautiful story man, beautiful!! For one of our road trips we cut open the top of an old milk gallon jug to piss in, but it was hard to piss inside the car. Like you said, years of conditioning. We pulled off in Kentucky or Tennessee, can't remember which though. ANd after that initiall piss, you are screwed, because "once you break the seal............."
At one of my buddie's (Chewie) parties, I pissed in his refridgerator. Everyone said I just walkes in the kitchen, opened the door and just let go. I don't remember any of it. Man, was he pissed. I had to scrub out his fridge and replace the groceries....
j
j
vomit
Hosebag wannabe
You guys crack me up.
TD, I reiterate, are you sure we were not seperated at birth? I'm telling you man if I get down your way, we are gonna drink some beers, and see if we lurched out of the same gene pool...
Anyhow, I had a buddy who worked in a grocery store for many years. They see a lot in the grocery stores, I am here to tell--being a veteran myself.
Well anyway my buddy is working, when he spies this old dude ("a year older than dirt", was his way of putting it). This guy was lurching feebly around the store. When he stopped---in the middle of the aisle---unaware he is being observed.
Words escape me, as I try to relate this story.
The guy stopped, and started shaking his leg a little. And a large brown trout from his nether regions rolled out of his pants. He tried kicking it under the shelf, but alas he only succeeded in smearing it around a bit. My buddy was aghast. (I had no idea what aghast was until this story was told to me---I sure do now). The elderly gentleman than proceeded on his way--presumably a bit older & wiser from his experience. One has to assume seeing something like this makes a person a raging drunk, a druggie or a plaything for therapists. My buddy has always opted for the first.
As a sidenote I saw Maiden in 2000. And I was drinking heavily. So naturally I was hearing the call of nature quite frequently & urgently. As Maiden had just started, I didn't want to miss a thing, so I did what any semi-normal, drunk, stoned person would do. I pissed in my empty beer cup. Not an easy task, in the midst of 7,000 Maiden fans. We had seats, so it wasn't impossible, merely unwieldy! My buddy saw, but I think the rest of the crowd was oblivious----especially the guy who passed the bomber to me. He was drooling rather nicely at this time, with his eyes shuttered to the world.
As TD says, "Good times, good times"!
uke: uke: uke: uke:
TD, I reiterate, are you sure we were not seperated at birth? I'm telling you man if I get down your way, we are gonna drink some beers, and see if we lurched out of the same gene pool...
Anyhow, I had a buddy who worked in a grocery store for many years. They see a lot in the grocery stores, I am here to tell--being a veteran myself.
Well anyway my buddy is working, when he spies this old dude ("a year older than dirt", was his way of putting it). This guy was lurching feebly around the store. When he stopped---in the middle of the aisle---unaware he is being observed.
Words escape me, as I try to relate this story.
The guy stopped, and started shaking his leg a little. And a large brown trout from his nether regions rolled out of his pants. He tried kicking it under the shelf, but alas he only succeeded in smearing it around a bit. My buddy was aghast. (I had no idea what aghast was until this story was told to me---I sure do now). The elderly gentleman than proceeded on his way--presumably a bit older & wiser from his experience. One has to assume seeing something like this makes a person a raging drunk, a druggie or a plaything for therapists. My buddy has always opted for the first.
As a sidenote I saw Maiden in 2000. And I was drinking heavily. So naturally I was hearing the call of nature quite frequently & urgently. As Maiden had just started, I didn't want to miss a thing, so I did what any semi-normal, drunk, stoned person would do. I pissed in my empty beer cup. Not an easy task, in the midst of 7,000 Maiden fans. We had seats, so it wasn't impossible, merely unwieldy! My buddy saw, but I think the rest of the crowd was oblivious----especially the guy who passed the bomber to me. He was drooling rather nicely at this time, with his eyes shuttered to the world.
As TD says, "Good times, good times"!
uke: uke: uke: uke:
johnnieCzech
Your favourite Czech
I remember some plastered guy pissing into a empty beer glass and then he went with it and offered some hippies sitting next to us a "glass of wine". They didn´t drink it, so he poured it all over them.
johnnieCzech
Your favourite Czech
SlaughterofSoul
Forever Underground
Originally posted by vomit
You guys crack me up.
TD, I reiterate, are you sure we were not seperated at birth? I'm telling you man if I get down your way, we are gonna drink some beers, and see if we lurched out of the same gene pool...
Anyhow, I had a buddy who worked in a grocery store for many years. They see a lot in the grocery stores, I am here to tell--being a veteran myself.
Well anyway my buddy is working, when he spies this old dude ("a year older than dirt", was his way of putting it). This guy was lurching feebly around the store. When he stopped---in the middle of the aisle---unaware he is being observed.
Words escape me, as I try to relate this story.
The guy stopped, and started shaking his leg a little. And a large brown trout from his nether regions rolled out of his pants. He tried kicking it under the shelf, but alas he only succeeded in smearing it around a bit. My buddy was aghast. (I had no idea what aghast was until this story was told to me---I sure do now). The elderly gentleman than proceeded on his way--presumably a bit older & wiser from his experience. One has to assume seeing something like this makes a person a raging drunk, a druggie or a plaything for therapists. My buddy has always opted for the first.
As a sidenote I saw Maiden in 2000. And I was drinking heavily. So naturally I was hearing the call of nature quite frequently & urgently. As Maiden had just started, I didn't want to miss a thing, so I did what any semi-normal, drunk, stoned person would do. I pissed in my empty beer cup. Not an easy task, in the midst of 7,000 Maiden fans. We had seats, so it wasn't impossible, merely unwieldy! My buddy saw, but I think the rest of the crowd was oblivious----especially the guy who passed the bomber to me. He was drooling rather nicely at this time, with his eyes shuttered to the world.
As TD says, "Good times, good times"!
GREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! I work at a grocery store. Can't wait to see the shit fly! </sarcasm>
nafnikufesin
N.F.F.
It was sick the first time someone posted a link to it. I can't believe that of all the crap that's been posted (pun intended), this link has been repeated.
