SOMETHING THAT PISSED ME OFF/MADE ME LAUGH

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Attention all bastards:
Stop breeding!
 
ct_thrash said:
pissed you off AND made you laugh?
A CHICK TALLER THAN ME WITH DOUBLE-D BOOBS TRYING TO BUY ME BEER WITH A FAKE ID AND BECAUSE OF THESE FUCKING HORMONES/STEROIDS IN LOCAL FOOD (THE FOOD THAT'S TOO CRAPPY TO GET SHIPED ACROSS STATE LINES) SHE TURNS OUT TO BE 11 AND ALMOST NO ONE ON ROYAL CARNAGE NEW THIS OR EVEN STOPPED TO REALIZE/ACKNOWLEGE THAT WHATS "ON PAPER" NEVER EVER ACTUALLY MATCHES REALITY
 
ct_thrash said:
so you showed her your dick because she tried to buy you beer? or was that before...just curious
SHE NEVER ACTUALLY SAW MY DICK
SHE WAS PISSED THAT I WOULDN'T GO WITH HER TO BUY THE ALCHOHOL
THE WORDS I HEARD HER TELL THE COP

THAT I PULLED OFF HER CLOTHES, RAPED HER, THERE WASN'T ANY SEMEN ON HER BECAUSE IT LANDE3D ON MYSELF, AND THAT THE THING THAT MADE IT TAKE HER SO LONG TO RUN UP TO THE COP IS BECAUSE SHE PUT HER CLOTHES BACK ON, THAT ALL THIS SUPPOSEDLY HAPPENED IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERRY CROWDED MALL PARKING LOT, AND THAT SOMEHOW, MAGICALLY, THIS SUPPOSED VICTIM TRYING TO CONVINCE THE COP THAT SHE'S ALREADY SURE NO ONE SAW ANYTHING

WITH NO EVIDENCE, THEY COULDN'T HANDCUFF ME THAT FIRST DAY AND HAD TO ACTUALLY SEARCH MY HOUSE BEFORE THEY COULD ACTUALLY GET THE WARRANT TO ARREST ME
AND EVEN WHEN I FINNALLY GOT HANCUFFED THE CHARGE WAS A COMEPLETELY TOTALLY DIFFERENT CHARGE THAN WHAT I HEARD THE GIRL TELL THE COP WITH MY OWN FUCKING EARS
 
LORD_RED_DRAGON said:
YEAH
IT WAS WHEN THE MALL WAS CLOSING FOR THE DAY, SO EVERYONE WAS GETTING INTO THEIR CARS, AND IT WAS BEFORE SUNSET BECAUSE THE MALL CLOSES EARLY ON SUNDAY

I'm SHOCKED!