Story Thread

[Metalchemist]

The idea is that we take turns to contribute to an ongoing story. You can make it dramatic, tragic, funny... or just move the plot along, but keep it open-ended. I'll start:-

THE ADVENTURES OF JACK METALHEAD ​

Twenty year old Jack is at his sister's wedding reception party. Growing increasingly frustrated with the commercial music playing, he goes up to the DJ.

JACK: Allright mate. Got any Carpathian Forest?

 

[Eagle]

The idea is that we take turns to contribute to an ongoing story. You can make it dramatic, tragic, funny... or just move the plot along, but keep it open-ended. I'll start:-

THE ADVENTURES OF JACK METALHEAD ​

Twenty year old Jack is at his sister's wedding reception party. Growing increasingly frustrated with the commercial music playing, he goes up to the DJ.

JACK: Allright mate. Got any Carpathian Forest?

'NO' Replies the DJ

The End

 

[MentaLee]

A true story then

 

[divineslayer666]

"No replies the dj"
"The end is near" says jack
He then walks out the door and runs home to collect his Cannibal corpse collection!
Upon his return to the wedding he drives straight through the walls in a tank...
Runs over everyone and puts on his cd's...he stands there headbanging among all the blod and destruction until the cops finally show up!
.....................
........
.....
..
.

 

[Eagle]

"No replies the dj"
"The end is near" says jack
He then walks out the door and runs home to collect his Cannibal corpse collection!
Upon his return to the wedding he drives straight through the walls in a tank...
Runs over everyone and puts on his cd's...he stands there headbanging among all the blod and destruction until the cops finally show up!
.....................
........
.....
..
.

The cops surround our young hero and stare at him with menace in their eyes. Just as they're about to draw upon their mighty truncheons the Chief Constable suddenly lets loose a blood curdling cry and rips his mask off to reveal the grinning face of King Diamond!

 

[wroed]

Our young hero make's a break for it, escapes Diamond's clutches and disappears into a nearby doorway.

Meanwhile, outside on a winter's night the rain begins to fall. There's a chill in the air and the howl of the wolves and the rain beats at the door. The seven kings will ride on the wind up towards the mountain's high. And the only sound that will break the air is the warrior's bitter cry.

When the dawn of the a new sun will see the day and the strongest hearts grow old and the warrior stands on the top of the hill in the snow...

 

[Joe5now]

...and freezes to death.

 

[Jonoleth]

And passes over to the afterlife... to Valhalla!

 

[divineslayer666]

As the seven kings reach the hill they stand face to face with the warriors spirit he has passed into valhalla but his spirit still stands in the mortal realm to take part in one last fight.... They draw their swords and inform the might warrior Sigmar (future god of the race of man)of his imminent death...they claim he was spotted in secret council with the chief shamen of an Orc warband. Of course sigmar denies the accusations stating it was an image of himself created by the orc shamen to turn his allies against him and thus they would be rid of a most annoying menace!
The kings did not believe sigmar and so a battle raged atop the hillside! A quick side step to the left knocked the first attacker off balance and sigmars reflexes again gave him the opportunity to strike and lop off the head of one of the kings! Clearly is fighting ability was underestimated so the remaining six kings swarmed sigmar. In a mad frenzy too fast for the eye to see 2 bodies came out alive...one king and sigmar...staggering along, bleeding from many small cuts and one large gash down his arm sigmar fell to his knees. He asked for a warriors death and the weary king raised his sword and a swift stroke took sigmars head straight off. further down the hill battle cries were heard and it was clear that the orc warband were attacking a regiment of the empires imperial army...the king, too ashamed to admit to the killing of the humans greatest hero was about to kill himself...he then spotted jack who had come out of hiding..perfect he thought. I shall blame this metalhead...he is sooo pissed he will not deny it! The king told the troops of jacks crime and a few of them marched up the hill towards him. just before they reached the top 20 goblin wolf riders hurtled towards then and violently with no care for their own safety they slayed the king and the group of men. jack realising his danger ran as fast as he could...he knew he MUST escape and tell someone of the wars going on and the betrayal of the kings. Chaos was infecting the lands of men and it seemed he was the only man in the empire who knew of this treachary!
What would jack do next......

 

[divineslayer666]

Damn you said he died...nwo my whole post does not make sense...grrr
must edit!

 

[Joe5now]

In the style of your traditional metalhead, Jack thinks screw this, kicks back in his easy chair and cracks open a bottle of Hobgoblin. He watches some taped russian MTV and begins to thrash an air guitar to Vader and Kreator videos covering himself in the orange nectar.
Upon smelling the scent of hobgoblin mixed with true man essense, a passing viking wench leaps into his sitting room and begins to molest him. The make passionate metal love to a musical background of Helloween to drown out any offensive noise and then fall asleep after a couple of songs. Jack wakes up in the morning, still in his leather jacket and proceeds to...

 

[Eagle]

... put a denim cut off over his leather jacket. This denim cut off is lined with studs and has a huge patch of The Trooper on the back. Jack then picks up his trusted Sabre and heads to the east

 

[Jonoleth]

and somehow ends up in the wilds opf deepest Finland with only a battle axe and a cask of ale for company...

 

[Eagle]

Whereupon he is confronted by a maiden with hair as fair as the summer's corn ...

 

[dragonmaiden]

Jack was smitten! The maiden was very beautiful! She informed him that she had a quest for him should he wish to do it. She explained that her father's land was in the thrall of a fierce dragon and a mighty warrior was sought to set the land free from tyranny! If Jack would do this her father would grant him her hand or even better, if he preferred they could just have a 'good time' instead. Jack pondered her proposition for a moment.........

 

[Jonoleth]

As he pondered he came upon Finntroll wandering and playing their polka tunes to all the woodland creatures...

 

[Eagle]

Thinking that this might well be a sign from above. Jack declined the maiden's offer and rode south into the desolate plains of Lapland.

Without warning he was confronted by a Magical Moose with horns of the purest steel...

 

[divineslayer666]

the moose was feeling a bit too horny for jacks liking so after barely escaping getting his ass reamed by a demented moose he was once again on the run.......

His only suplies were a mini disc player with his power metal compilation in it, his sword and his rune engraved axe made by the dwarfs of old. he also had a few cans of purest ale, 78 condoms (you can never be too sure), a pen and of course an expired liqrish(dont know how to spell ) alsort covered in hairs at the bottom of his pocket...something everyone must have!
So with this and "Noose" by Ark blasting away in his ears he ran towards the south in search for hot women, more ale and some fina ass metal

 

[Jonoleth]

On his journey south he encountered many interesting mettallions, He travelled day and night walking south and sailing upon viking longships to get to germany, sleeping in his tent with his trusty 'nu-metaller' skull impalled on his tentpole... He reached the point to which he had been aiming... his mecca... the destination to which his metal pilgrimage led... Wacken! but then he realised the errors of his metal ways... He encountered bohse Onkelz playing on the mainstage and proclamed loudly! Bugger this! If you want metal, Derbys where its at! Bloodstock all the way! And so off he set wioth only his diminished Ale supply as company...

 

[Joe5now]

The struggle north was long and fearsome, but Jack finally sailed across the channel on a longboat he built from the sinyew of wild boar he had hunted in the bavarian mountains (he went on a bit of a detour) When he finally docked 'pon the white cliffs of dover, he found there Rob Halford standing amongst a lightning storm on the top of the cliffs. It appeared Halford was shouting to Rob that by not having a passport he was breaking the law, breaking the law. Jack responded by duelling Halford and finally defeated him after an epic battle. Halford declared Jack a true warrior, and let him continue on his epicus doomicus metallicus journey...