Oh god, I hate that. That's exactly what I hate about the metal world as well. ...and I never really consider myself having 'metal lifestyle' anyways.
It's so funny that we discuss this now, I was just talking about this with a friend of mine who is a 'metal persona' himself and how just because someone likes metal so much, or play in a band, doesn't mean that's his/hers life or who they are...
Metal does not define me at all. I love it, but I treat it as a hobby.
I have so many more sides, layers and interests other than "omg-metal-666-yeah" bullshit that I completely understand you.
I treat metal or anything else I do as I treat being a 'flexitarian'. I enjoy it, have a taste of it, but it's not taking over my life.
Just because I happen to think that meat shouldn't be consumed daily doesn't mean I want to go all the way and be a vegetarian or vegan. Just because I love fine wine and gourmet food doesn't mean I am going to act all elitist and ban pizza or other simple foods all together from my life. Just because I love art, doesn't mean that from now on all my free time will be spent in museums, and just because I'm into metal doesn't mean I don't like other types of music or enjoy fashion that is not '100% black'
I hate to 'commit' and define myself accrding to one aspect of who I am.
I think you would agree with me Kevin
People define themselves all the time, placing their life or who they are in boxes, and as far as I'm concern, life's too short for any kind of box.
Heck, I want all boxes of life to be a part of my robust round world.
So yeah, in metal shows/ fests you happen to come across the type who would want to act all 'metal' and talk about music all day and be all stupid and shallow... but sometimes you find yourself hang out with good peeps, drinking good beers and having a good time.
I know how you feel Kev, I may not have worked in a big radio show, but I worked for Metal Hammer and record labels and did a lot of band promotions and went on tours and all the good stuff, that when I used to go to shows people would always talk to me about THAT and I got so sick of it.
I can't blame you; your situation is even bigger than mine. (MetalSHop that is) It's very understandable.
When I go to shows I just treat it as a fun night and nothing more. I hang out with the people I want to hang out with, I see people I enjoy seeing at shows, I enjoy seeing my bands, drinking my beer and act all-metal for one night
...and sometimes I just skip shows as well, because ..I dunno, I'm not in the mood.
and that is indeed awesome
This is your time to enjoy and explore!