You knew I would reply to this one
There is no such thing as perfect parenting. We as parents have lived and learned through a few more generations than you've lived, and have picked up many good and bad habits along the way.
You, the kid, are still an individual. We, the parent, can't change that - at least a good parent should be able to realize that. My job as a parent is to guide my kids the best I can, then send them out into the world on the best path I know. What's good for me may not be good for them, but what else do I have to work with? I only have my knowledge to pass to them - not Einsteins, or anyone else's knowledge.
Also - I'm not there 24/7. I don't interact with my kids friends, and I'm not part of their social circle. So how can I decide what choices my kids should make when I'm not even living their life? I can't. I can only pass what I consider my best judgement down, and show them the importance of being a "good" person.
And I could never say I know my kids the best of anybody - my kids know themselves better. They don't tell me everything, thus, I am not 100% informed to make the absolute decisions for them.
I certainly don't think I'm the perfect parent - I look back and doubt things I've said and done all the time, but I don't let it hinder me. Kids make as many mistakes as we parents do, but are less inclined to admit it [IMO].
I parent my way, and only my way. We've only had my parents as baby sitters, and very rarely at that. My wife took a job at the school, so she could be home when the kids were growing up. That way, we wouldn't be spending money for someone else to bring up our kids. I don't believe in grades - I believe in effort. I've always asked my kids to ask themselves - if you feel you've put in 100% effort, than good for you (even if the grades aren't good). So I listen to Opeth and metal and act like a kid while most parents my age "seem" older. That's my way - it works for me. I never adjusted my style to suit anyone - I entered parenting blind (as ALL parents do), and learned along the way. Sometimes, people just learn when it's too late.
Of course everything I do at home, every way I act, everything I say, rubs off on my kids, and becomes part of them (in big and small ways). I could be accused of "spoiling" my kids, but I also teach them the value of hard work and the $ - so they see both sides.
So my answer to all of this is: I think my wife and I did a damn good job parenting. And it's a question only we need to answer - not our kids. I must of been close to 30 before I realized really how good my parents did at bringing us up. Most of you aren't there yet.
Read about the psychology of children and adults - it's interesting. The whole thing about kids hitting certain ages (16 or so), and the natural instinct is to break out on their own, become an individual, etc. I can't, and haven't tried to stop that. I've tried to work with it. I balance giving my kids space with teaching and protecting the best I can. I know the way it is - I don't expect a thank-you every day, nor do I deserve one. I made a choice to be a parent, and it's my duty to uphold my end of the bargain, and hope my kids do their part (whatever that may be).
