Tony IS dead.
Tony basically knew the hit was coming, thats why he wanted to confirm that Paulie would be up to "doing something big", because after the hit, Paulie would be in charge of the family.
In the diner it switched to a first person view, from tony's perspective, as the family walked in one by one. Take note of Meadow successfully parallel parking. Previously she has failed. Twice to be exact. Both times coinciding with failed hits/death on/of Tony. Tony looks at the door for Meadow to come in, and then, right as she is walking in, it goes black. From the first person. He was shot in the back of the head, so his view became nothingness. He heard nothing. Death. Just blackness.
As for the cat. I dunno. I'm kinda thing Adriana, but not 100% sure. I'll have to watch it again, if I can get past its dullness.
Overall, really dull ending. A few good parts, but overall, not what I was expecting.