The three blondes

[Col_ossus]

Three blondes are stuck on an island, when they discover a lamp. One of them gives it a rub, and a genie pops out giving each of them a wish.

The first blonde says "I wish I was 15% smarter so I could figure out how to get off this island." There's a poof, and a cloud of smoke and she turns into a red-head, and swims off to safety.

The second blonde says "I wish I was 25% smarter so I could figure out how to get off this island." There's another poof and a cloud of smoke, and she turns into a brunnette, makes a raft out of trees and sails off to safety.

The third blonde says "I wish I was 50% smarter so I could figure out how to get off this island." There's a third poof and she turns into a man, and walks across the bridge.

Sorry.

 

[KY_Fried442]

and the fourth blonde says "Blonde jokes are lame"

 

[Bass Fellow]

Down in the Everglades at a local pub during the tourist season a hunter walks in with a gator. Everyone spreads out until the hunter and his gator are in the center of the pub gathering everyone's attention.

The hunter loudly proclaims:"I will stick my balls in this mean summabitch's mouth for $100. AND, I'll bet I can do for a whole five minutes without any physical harm coming to me!"

So the patrons quickly come up with the money and the hunter begins with his act.

Five minutes go by and the hunter firmly slams a beer bottle of the gator's noggin and it let's go.

The hunter steps back to reveal his package and proclaims: "Now see here. There are no scratches, no divots, no puncture wounds of any kind".

The crowd applauses but he hushes them after a bit

"If there is anyone here in this pub who can do the same thing I will pay them not $100 but $500!"

Nobody says a word until finally a blonde woman in back speaks up proclaiming: "I could do it but you don't have to hit me with that beer bottle afterwards!"

 

[MikeyBong]

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

 

[R2dee2]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing - you already told her twice...

 

[thraxton hicks]

Two sewing machines in a bar, one asks are you a singer? "janome??!!"

 

[MyHatred]

Why is the Polish suicide rate so low?

Have you ever tried jumping out of a basement window?

 

[Col_ossus]

Thats the spirit Thraxgirlie. Nice one.

 

[MikeyBong]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing - you already told her twice...

I feel sooo bad laughing at that one!

 

[Inside Out]

lol blonde, mind if i borrow that

 

[Spidey138]

What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?
Last year's hide-and-seek champion.