The world's funniest joke

[XzanderX]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


from CNN

 

[Stultus]

Ah, yes, the http://www.laughlab.co.uk/ thing. I must say that the second place one is infinitely better.
And according to the jokes-by-countries page, Belgium and Canada are the only remotely humerous places (of the ones surveyed).

Of course this survey completely ignores the Mecca of jokes that is Israel, but apparently they weren't going for anything that might offend anyone.

It appears that the world recession has also hurt the world's collective sense of humor.

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

I liked the "surreal" example the best...

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

 

[xfer]

Sharon and Arafat sit down at a negotiating table for the first time. Sharon opens with a story:

"Moses was bathing in the Jordan River one day when he emerged to find that a Palestinian had stolen his clothes from the riverbank. Moses--"

Arafat cut him off furiously. "But there were no Palestinians during the time of Moses!"

Sharon nodded smugly. "All right, now that we've got that settled, let's start the negotiations!"

 

[avi]

I think the surreal one is pretty darn funny, too.

 

[Stultus]

Originally posted by xfer
Arafat cut him off furiously. "But there were no Palestinians during the time of Moses!"
[/B]

Nor were there Jews. That Sharon sure is an idiot*.

*true

 

[xfer]

What were there, then?

Although yes, Sharon is sure an idiot.

 

[Stultus]

There were Hebrews/Israelites, and only in Egypt*.

*according to the bible, that is...

 

[avi]

not that I really want to go into this too much, but there is archaelogical evidence of Jews/Israelites is Israel during that time, but not in Egypt. Outside of the Bible, there isn't anything that suggests the Jews were in Egypt or that the Exodus actually happened. However- there is physical evidence that they were in Palestine/Israel/what-have-you.

 

[Stultus]

Yes, I refrained form using the word "supposedly" on purpose, but of course the whole idea of the Exodus is god's way of guilt-tripping the Jews into worshipping him.

(closest I got to a Polish mother pic - view properties)

 

[xfer]

Well, the Exodus is necessary in a metaphysical sense, too--to bring this into more Maudlinofthewell-esque territory, the qabbalah is based around the principle that in order to create the world, God (being ominpresent) had to withdraw his presence from a portion of reality and build our universe there. But cracks and veins of divine essence seeped back into the world, and these are the sefira. So the plight of the Jews/Israelites (why's there a difference, anyway? it's my understanding that there's a unified cultural line of descent there, unlike, say, the Canaanites and the Palestinians) is a microcosm of the plight of our world, set aside from and "outside" divinity.

See, the rabbis thought all this shit out really well!

 

[avi]

I could talk about this stuff for hours, but unfortunately it's really difficult to do on ye' standard message board. Anyways, that (Jewish studies) was what I was studying in college before I dropped out, along with sound engineering.

a small clarification: sefira is singular, sefirot is plural.