I am so sick of these guys. You know, the fake "labels" where you pay $100 to get on a compilation CD with other shitty myspace bands. You guys have probably gotten tons of these I'm sure...
I usually just tell these people to fuck off and die, but tonight I decided to show them exactly how they come off.
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I'll provide a few translations here:
1. 10 copies of “UNDERGROUND RISING Vol.1” for you and your band to keep, sell, throw, trade, destroy, burn. Whatever!
10 copies of "Underpants Rising Vol. 1" for you and your shitty myspace band to use as coasters to keep the condensation off your Crate amps.
2. 50 copies mailed to college & underground radio stations that play underground music regularly.
50 copies thrown into college and underground radio station dumpsters.
3. 50 copies mailed to major record labels. The labels you want to be heard by. And being associated with an indie label such as Dark Sky Records is an easy way to get your music in front of these guys.
50 copies mailed to record labels, only 3 of which are major anymore, and none of which accept unsolicited material. Being associated with a fake label such as Dark Sky Records is an easy way to get these guys to never, ever call you back, even if you're the next Fall Out Boy.
4. A minimum of 2 shows booked, promoted & produced by Dark Sky Records. (All events put on by Dark Sky Records will involve bands from the compilation cd)
We will contractually bind your shitty myspace band to drive 300 miles in a van to play a shitty club with other shitty myspace bands to no audience.
5. Your song played on Dark Sky Records web site.
Your song (maybe someday) streamed on a website whose domain is currently expired.
6. A picture of your band on the Dark Sky Records web site.
A picture of your band on a non-existent website.
7. A link directly to your web site.
A link to nothing from nowhere.
8. Compilation CD’s to be sold at all Dark Sky Records events.
Compilations CD's will be on display at all Dark Sky Records events.
9. Compilation CD’s to be sold at local music stores.
Compilation CD's will be sent straight to the dumpsters at local music stores after sitting in the consignment rack for 2 weeks.
10. A hug from yours truly!
Uhhh.... no.
You get all this to help push your music to the next level for only $100 bucks. Not much for a shot at getting closer to FAME. And I want to help you do it!
Thought balloon: If we sucker 100 bands into doing this we will make $10 grand after spending only a small fraction of that on duplication! Imagine the incredible ROI we can have by suckering impressionable bands we've spammed on MySpace into participating in our racket! We can keep starting new fake record labels and new compilations and repeat this process over and over and make MILLIONS!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
I usually just tell these people to fuck off and die, but tonight I decided to show them exactly how they come off.
-----
I'll provide a few translations here:
1. 10 copies of “UNDERGROUND RISING Vol.1” for you and your band to keep, sell, throw, trade, destroy, burn. Whatever!
10 copies of "Underpants Rising Vol. 1" for you and your shitty myspace band to use as coasters to keep the condensation off your Crate amps.
2. 50 copies mailed to college & underground radio stations that play underground music regularly.
50 copies thrown into college and underground radio station dumpsters.
3. 50 copies mailed to major record labels. The labels you want to be heard by. And being associated with an indie label such as Dark Sky Records is an easy way to get your music in front of these guys.
50 copies mailed to record labels, only 3 of which are major anymore, and none of which accept unsolicited material. Being associated with a fake label such as Dark Sky Records is an easy way to get these guys to never, ever call you back, even if you're the next Fall Out Boy.
4. A minimum of 2 shows booked, promoted & produced by Dark Sky Records. (All events put on by Dark Sky Records will involve bands from the compilation cd)
We will contractually bind your shitty myspace band to drive 300 miles in a van to play a shitty club with other shitty myspace bands to no audience.
5. Your song played on Dark Sky Records web site.
Your song (maybe someday) streamed on a website whose domain is currently expired.
6. A picture of your band on the Dark Sky Records web site.
A picture of your band on a non-existent website.
7. A link directly to your web site.
A link to nothing from nowhere.
8. Compilation CD’s to be sold at all Dark Sky Records events.
Compilations CD's will be on display at all Dark Sky Records events.
9. Compilation CD’s to be sold at local music stores.
Compilation CD's will be sent straight to the dumpsters at local music stores after sitting in the consignment rack for 2 weeks.
10. A hug from yours truly!
Uhhh.... no.
You get all this to help push your music to the next level for only $100 bucks. Not much for a shot at getting closer to FAME. And I want to help you do it!
Thought balloon: If we sucker 100 bands into doing this we will make $10 grand after spending only a small fraction of that on duplication! Imagine the incredible ROI we can have by suckering impressionable bands we've spammed on MySpace into participating in our racket! We can keep starting new fake record labels and new compilations and repeat this process over and over and make MILLIONS!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
