things that seem normal until someone else sees / hears it

[minxnim]

- carrying a CVS bag with cockroach killer and sedatives in it. and a razor.

- being hugged by four lesbians in a row who randomly pass you on the street. they all touch your butt.

- your friend saying 'i was in my room, it wasn't like i was in the kitchen shooting up in front of my mom.'

- your sister says 'remember that time we ate cat food because we were starving?'

 

[lizard]

and in reverse, being in charge of the agency's laptops, and someone returns the case to you and its filled with feminine hygiene products.

 

[minxnim]

darn i added other stuff and it got lost :/ one was:

- mentioning in passing that you're glad you dont have to use an outhouse ANYMORE since it's so cold out.

 

[lizard]

these are some good ones, A.

how about: mentioning that you're so relieved to be having sex again now that your herpes simplex sores have receded.

 

[Baliset]

-mentioning to someone that your husband's cd collection consists of the complete catalogues of Britney Spears, Celine Dion, and Mariah Carey(including imports) and oh yeah a burn of the Metallica black album.

 

[minxnim]

not realizing it's messed up that my roommate grew up in appalachia.

 

[minxnim]

- when someone asks who will be at your house for christmas you mention your dad's employees mac, chip, and ray. then go on to list rico, dill, a guy named jigger, a guy named chopper, and someone named chickie.

- i have two long term girl friends named billy jo.

- i eat steamed mushrooms for breakfast

- i LIKE brussel sprouts immensely

 

[kleo706]

-I used to boil entire bags of frozen brussel sprouts for breakfast
-My cousin named her child "Thelonius"

 

[minxnim]

- my middle name is thies

 

[kleo706]

This is more when they SEE it but...
-my school bag contents: 3 literary analysis papers, 1 laptop, 1 leather strap, 1 laptop power supply, 1 tube of lube, 3 pens, 40 condoms, 1 textbook, 1 CD player, 1 cat o' nine tails, 1 NKOTB CD

 

[minxnim]

here's one i forgot before:
- me: 'my dad was a fur trapper and a logger before he started his own business, he used to hang dead beavers in our kitchen and the blood would be all in the cereal and shit' looking into a room of blank stunned faces.

 

[minxnim]

(people wonder why i'm a vegan)

 

[lizard]

my cousin was like that. she grew up with her dad raising pigs and she'd get attached to them and then her dad would be like hawling them up by their back feet onto a tree limb for gutting and such.

poor kid.

 

[minxnim]

not realizing it's messed up that my roommate grew up in appalachia.

i'm totally going to have to make more deliverance jokes now that i realize this is pretty serious material.

 

[avi]

singing dueling banjos is always a good start

 

[minxnim]

lizard, my dad tried to hide them but i mean... there's like 20 people running around. i couldn't miss it eventually. but slipping in deer guts and cracking my head on the wood chopping block: most white trash childhood even ever. other than the catfood incident.

 

[lizard]

man, you've GOT to tell us about "the catfood incident"

 

[minxnim]

read the last entry on my very first post.
my sister and i were hungry. there was no food. (our evil babysitter, if that's what you can call her, never fed us) the next day, we got desperate and ate the neighbor's cat food.

 

[azal]

the fact that it wasn't even your catfood makes it significantly more white thrashtastic.

 

[minxnim]

i don't need to be reminded.