To the coworker in the next cubicle

[FalseTodd]

Please for the love of our sweet saviour jesus christ breathe through your mouth or something. I feel like I've been getting a prank phone call for the past two weeks.

 

[FalseTodd]

OK she is seriously making me insane. Breathe normal, motherfucker.

 

[xfer]

i so wish i had your work phone number.

 

[FalseTodd]

i wonder if it would be audible?

 

[minxnim]

is it like a nose whistle noise? that drives me mad.

 

[FalseTodd]

No! It's just really heavy breathing. Which is kind of worse, cause there's no prospect of it going away with a simple snot dislodging or w/e.

 

[deadair]

bring a fan into work and put it on high. white noise is better than that.

 

[minxnim]

wow i've heard of heavy mouth breathers, but never heavy nose breathers (except with you're doing yoga!)

 

[FalseTodd]

That's a little suspicious when it's 2 degrees outside.

 

[FalseTodd]

I'm just assuming it's nose breathing. Cause how could you make so much noise drawing air through a cavity as large as your mouth?

 

[minxnim]

that's so crazy. and gross.

 

[FalseTodd]

and weird. I'm just going to go take a long time making tea now.

 

[TheNewChupe]

fight every breath with a loud sigh and/or fake sneeze.

 

[lizard]

in my old cube I had a fat woman on the other side of the wall who constantly was choking up platelets of phlegm.

 

[azal]

I don't think nose breathing can be that loud...it's probably mouth.

I hate that....I especially hate when my nose is stuffed and I have to breath on through my mouth and I have to be close to people..like in a line or something...I feel sorry for them for having to feel and hear my breath...it makes me very uncomfortable.

but for some reason, I rather enjoy farting in public and crowded places.

 

[FalseTodd]

oh dear god it's still happening it's been happening all day it'll happen all next week and the week after that...i...glug

 

[FalseTodd]

Seriously though it's constantly making me think about the act of breathing, so now my breathing is all labored. Glah.

 

[xfer]

you can't wear headphones at work, sam?

 

[FalseTodd]

err.....shut up alex.

 

[minxnim]

it's *still* going on? what the hell? i'd sneak a bunch of those nose strips that open up a person's nostrils for them, like football players wear. just leave them there with a note that says 'breathe normL plZ thnX'