I was whining and complaining to a friend last night about this uncalled for assault by my own guitar and he told me this funniest story that happened to him like three years ago while in college in the states.
There they are sipping, carefully on a keg while playing some videogame, my guess it was the Nintendo 64, ps-1 or what ever. They had invited som people over for a frat-party. As the party hasn't gotten off to the quick start they hoped for my buddy goes upstairs with some of the other frat guys to bring out the big guns (no no penises but tequila, vodka or *name of your favorite hard liquire here*). After a some modereratly sized drinks one of the guys decides it's time to look for some porn on the net (can't remember if the other guys had left allready or if they were about to, makes little difference but hey!) Some of the guys realize that it would be great to get the girlfriend of this guy upstairs as he is fraternizing with various porn on the net. Hold on we're getting to the point shortly. So apperantly there are but two guys left now giggeling and booze hounding. By the computer is a Korg keyboard seated on a stage-keyboard-holder-stand-with-legs-thingy as it isn't the correct kind for this specific keyboard it just rests ontop with no real attachment to it. So as drunk fucker #2 has poured his sevententh (slight exaggeration) drink his stupid ass decides to lean on this nice table by the computer to get a finer view of the pornographic material at hand. The keyboard will not, of course, support the weight of a big drunk numbnut leaning on it with one elbow! So as the keyboard is tips over the side, drunk fucker #2 realizes he is up kimchi alley. The keyboard sizes up drunk fucker#2 and bashes into the templar with some funky tweaking knobs used for..tweaking? Well on his way down to the floor #2 grabs the little table holding the last alcohol of now drunk fucker#1, it of course spills ontop him.
They complain to the keyboard owner (my friend) about the faulty and potentioally leathal construction on which the now killed keyboard was laying on. The keyboard owner promtly makes them pay for his now busted up keyboard, the stolen booze and for some emotional abuse. Here is where the problem comes in. Two waisted, now, broke guys realize in their drunken stupur that they now in fact are keyboard owners, none really play and as the synth is broken it really does'nt matter. So what to do with a broken keyboard, the answer becomes obvious to these two, as if the Heavens have opened up for them enlightenment fills their foggy minds.
KEYBOARD-SURFING As drunk fucker #2 still has freash memories of keyboardial violence he persuades his companion to "ride the lightning" down some stairs in the building. Drunk fucker#2 runs for some audience in the main room proclaiming somethin to do with "show of the year, Evil Canivel, showmanship" and other catchy-phrases and summons up quite an audience. None at this point know what is so great but most people don't care guess they all figure the odds for something violent is pretty high.
As drunk fucker#1 prepares for the show of a lifetime, the girlfirend arrives just in time to see her soon to be ex-boyfriend zoom down some stairs standing on what looks to be a keyboard. As the realization sets into DF#1 that he might go supersonic at somepoint before the stairs end, he lets out an adiquate scream of gutteral-fear. At the flack point located between the two "flights" of stairs the Korg surfboard apperantly has had enough of this ransacking and decides to send DF#1 down the second flight alone. DF#1 does not go supersonic though he brakes one leg and dislocates a sholder and heavily bruises the ego. As for the keyboard well I forgot to ask. Apperantly the girlfirend wasn't to impressed as she found a different mate.
What can we learn from all this? Korg isn't a good surfboard brand?
Granted it wasn't the Keyboards fault I still consider the story to be music-instrument-injury related
