US flag to get face lift

[The Omnipotent Bob]

Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts
WASHINGTON, DC*

In a move designed to make the United
States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a
quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill
Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes
of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the
Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen.
James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the
Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished
silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to
a black background. A new national anthem is also in
the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and
tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."

 

[a guy...]

 

[LIZ METAL]

oh jeez! And the white house will be paint black with new editions of witch towers torture chambers, and air-force 1 will be sporting the Black album look with 'Don't Trend on Me' spray painted on the sides (minus the metallica logo, we don't want to get sued).

I'm moving to Sweden anyways...no one messes with Sweden. Who the hell wants to waste their time trying to conqure a cold ass fozen chunk of land? Now if only i could get the freakin' language down...

 

[TrueBeliever]

Meh, too lazy to learn a new language and culture. I'll probably just end up in Canada.

 

[Yetti]

thats it, im moving to finland

 

[Sadistik]

infernal combustion is the shit



'cept for those nasty shots they took at Testament in 99 (Scientists Confirm: Testaments career no longer visible to the naked eye"

 

[Valofvalhalla]

I'd like to see a version of "Hang Em High"

 

[Valofvalhalla]

The Government announced today that it is
changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed

 

[Zob Rombie]

i wanna see a a prototype on that black flag...that would be sw33t...

 

[LIZ METAL]

**laughs @ Val's post**

 

[Yetti]

Originally posted by Valofvalhalla
The Government announced today that it is
changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed

thats one of the funniest things ive ever read