when you're out sick you get elected WEB PAGE LIASON

[minxnim]

somehow. so i had to send my boss this email after finding out i have this new added fancy title:


RE: Am I missing something?

Deb,
Is our part of the website really just like, 1 paragraph? Or are they planning on adding more? Or am I totally missing something? This is lame i mean. Lame as in a person with a limp not getting up the stairs lame. how do i liason for a mediocre paragraph?
Me = clueless. This is the third time I’ve ever looked at our site! Lame!

xoxo Amanda-san

 

[minxnim]

also, i just got reprimanded because my skirt is too short!!!! that's it! seriously! WTF! holy shit!!!!!

it's not like i'm wearing fishnets or something holy hell i'm wearing thick all cotton girl's tights WTB WTG WTF

 

[minxnim]

alex can you please talk to these people thx.

 

[lizard]

please furnish photo of you in said short skirt so we can judge for ourselves. (I keed)

xoxoxoxo

 

[minxnim]

i guess it's more because it's pleated and the director saw it flying up in the air outside before when it was windy wtf is wrong with that bitch?

 

[lizard]

I am not high enough in the Dept of Defense to have "contacts" but perhaps the office of Homeland Security should be notified.

 

[minxnim]

i'd appreciate any help i can get thx.

 

[xfer]

you should have sent the e-mail to me, first, and after i vetted it with my keen agent's eye, i would have forwarded it to your director. remember: you're untouchable! distant! aloof!

the "lame" section was good, though.

 

[minxnim]

see i sent it to my direct supervisor who is actually cool. i havent talked to the director yet.

should i edit the email in some way to mention the highness of my skirt. like LAME AS IN NOT BEING ABLE TO WEAR PLAID MINI SKIRTS WITHOUT PERSECUTION

 

[lizard]

prepz, I know how to send fictitious emails from any address I care to dream up. see if this would go:



Dear _____________:

It has come to the attention of this office that a key informant on the war against terror, Ms. Amanda ____________, has been reprimanded by you for an allegedly short skirt.

Be advised that the rights of American women to chose their attire without regards to religious opinion is a sacred privilege of all our citizenry. Further, the sight of shapely female legs inflames the rage of islamic fundamentalists, and causes them to become agitated, and therefore easier to detect and apprehend.

Your reprimand to Ms. ___________ is therefore a hindrance to the war on terror.

Should you persist in this sort of un-American behavior, research into your personal habits may have to be undertaken.

Sincerely

Tom Ridge

Director

Office of Homeland Security.

 

[xfer]

just say that the policy is anti-catholic.

 

[minxnim]

omg i never thought of that alex i am totally saying it's anti-italian catholic school girls

 

[xfer]

"where in the bible does it say you're supposed to dress like a ho??"

 

[xfer]

"CATHOLICS DON'T READ THE BIBLE! dumbass."

 

[minxnim]

i'm fucking pissed you know she actually asked me if i wanted to walk to old navy (of all places) and get a pair of pants for this meeting. i was like 'i don't wear old navy'. seriously it's not that short and it's not like there's a heavy wind in the meeting room.



my direct boss (the cool one) just keeps laughing. she could give a shit.

 

[goatschool]

hi

 

[minxnim]

hi nick everyone is hating on my skirt and i hate this new job on this webpage it's lame.

 

[xfer]

just don't be surprised if everyone in the meeting starts referring to you as "Legs".

 

[goatschool]

hi.

give me the names of those disrespecting you.

i was going to suggest "webpage (word of the day) triage" rather that "liason"; liason sounds so thai.

 

[minxnim]

i dislike liason stuff...