why?

[flying_whale]

Why don't blind people like to skydive? It scares the shit out of their dogs.

 

[Sanctums]

stfu fag

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

*sigh*

 

[The Reverend Joint Smoker]

I have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and Simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her who was about to lose it listening.
Horrified, she asked why I ended up in the hospital, "Was I poisoned by the dog food"?. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

Hahahahaha!!!

 

[Will Bozarth]

 

[neal]

if that's a true story you are extremely awesome.

 

[Anvil]

Agreed. You earn the respect of everyone here who matters... So me.

 

[EricT]

That was a glorious story.

 

[azal]

anecdote of the decade.

 

[El Stormo]

Next time, lick your balls somewhere else than in front of the bumper of my car, jackass!