Worth a laugh

[mel_progson]

lol@ the progressive metal and doom ones.

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon,
drinks some beers and f*cks the princess

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable
for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and
f*cks her....... easy and quick

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions,
violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls
asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the
castle and burns the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f*.ks the princess and
kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it
in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks
her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the
deflowered princess

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in
the
front of the castle, f*cks the princess and kills her....then he
f*cks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts,
f*cks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f*cks it
for the last time

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that
he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the
dragon eats his body and the princess as well

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26
minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist
arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the
princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL"
protagonist

GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance
and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to
paint the castle in a beautiful pink color


INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene
gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by
security guards

 

[metal evilution]

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26
minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist
arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the
princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL"
protagonist

That's the best one imo!

 

[metal evilution]

Where's the one for Metalcore where during the upteenth breakdown the dragon punches himself to death.

 

[metal evilution]

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that
he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the
dragon eats his body and the princess as well


Maybe we should get that one printed on the back of the next batch of LYCANTHIA tshirts?

 

[metal evilution]

Bump to make Progson feel adequate round these parts.

 

[mel_progson]

Get Alberto to join up on here and I might drop in once in a while.

 

[metal evilution]

Sure, i'll let him know tomorrooooooooooow...