Thing would totally be used for masturbation if I was an Addams.
If the thing was used for masturbation, as it's a separate entity, it's not masturbation. That's sex of some degree.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that hand you got off the black market from the morgue? It's not thing. Ergo, it's not masturbation, you necro.
The hand + a gun would be epic! Best assassin and no one could trace him
Dismembered hands still have finger prints.
Guns and gloves, THAT'S how you get away with stuff. But you'll never find my hiding place!