Is Satan super-evil... or something?

[a guy...]

When you die your soul goes into the backpack which houses part of my cd archive. I keep buying more and more cd's and someone has to make sure the backpack doesn't fall apart. Other souls will be stuck holding the stacks of cd's on their backs for all eternity. And then the ones that display good behavior must alphebitize them all and arrange them accordingly. Have a nice day.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

That's the same theory about Hell that I had, Guerilla. Good metalheads go to hell and enjoy all the vices that society put constraints on in life. Plus we get to enjoy the Dead Metal All-Star Band of Baloff, Schuldiner, Burton, and Samuelson...I need a second guitarist, but the only guy I can think of right away is Euronymous, and he deserves pain.

I try not to think about the ethical implications of religion very much, because if any of it is true, I am going to burn in hot nacho cheese for all eternity.

 

[Guerrilla]

I try not to think about the ethical implications of religion very much, because if any of it is true, I am going to burn in hot nacho cheese for all eternity.

What did you do... Don't tell me... You couldn't take it any longer and you raped and killed that Jewish girl you like! Man for that you'll go to the 7th circle.

 

[Captain Beard]

I AM the 7th circle, fool. Yeah, he'll be tortured for a few decades, then maybe he'll be let free for parole. No one gets tortured for eternity, except child molesters, racists, and religious people that were mean and rude to others but fucked up and ended up on my property. And yes, Doug Bradley DOES have a twin brother named Pinhead down here helping me out.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

FUCK!! How did you figure it out?

Oh well, at least nobody knows about what happened to her ex...

 

[Dusk]

From what i understand and have read - The reason that satan was cast into hell is like this.....jesus put up a plan for everyone to come back to heaven and so did satan, but satan wanted to take all the credt for himself rather than attributing it to god. God picked jesus plan, and cast satan to hell......satan got all pissed and wanted to wreck gods/jesus' plan so he tries to lure as many people to hell with tempting them into doing wicked deeds. why he does this i don't know maybe so he can laff and say NER TOLD U UR PLAN WAS CRAP!
Satan doesn't torture the people in hell. People in hell will have dominion over satan because satan hasn't got a body of flesh and blood.
People will be tourtured by themselves because they will see what their potential was and will be like wishing they where good and stuff ie they'll look at all the skanky hoes in hell and then see all the hot angels and be pissed off.

i might have made the skanky hoe / hot angel thing up but u get the idea i think.:zombie:

 

[Chuut-Riit]

Heh, some funny theories out there..especially Pyrus' is nice.
Yeah, I think Satan tortures souls cause he's damn pissed and needs to get free of his never ending anger.
But thats just hypothesis, never been to hell before

 

[Guerrilla]

satan got all pissed and wanted to wreck gods/jesus' plan so he tries to lure as many people to hell with tempting them into doing wicked deeds. why he does this i don't know maybe so he can laff and say NER TOLD U UR PLAN WAS CRAP!

I'm of the belief that satan's basically building an army to take over heaven. As time goes by and people forget about morals and values and all that crap, more and more of them will end up in hell. So when the time is right and when the armies of hell vastly outnumber those of heaven, satan and the demons and all the people of hell will take over heaven and cast god and his crybaby son into exile and rule over heaven and hell forever and ever and they'll have all the hot angels for themselves and give the skanky hoes of hell to the christians... And then the christians will get syphilis and gonorrhea and genital herpes and all sorts of STD's from the skanky hoes and finally satan will get the revenge he's always been after.

 

[Ihreil Junkenstein]

Amen to that!
Sounds like a good film....

 

[Captain Beard]

I actually planned to take over heaven in the event it was real, so Satan has my pledge of allegiance if things get hairy.

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

I Was Always Been Taught That The Bible Was A Cult

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

I'm with NoLordy...better Satan than Jeebus.

 

[LORD_RED_DRAGON]

Yea Me 2 ..... If This Shit Actualy Turns Out 2 Be Real ....

 

[Chuut-Riit]

Wah, seems like to be neither satanist, nor atheist/nihilist/what ever requires a very thick fur and lotsa courage :zombie:
Well, sorry dudes, but if hell has not a heavy metal heaven in it, I would be one of your "enemies". too bad