Top comment, jenniebosas:
"You have good lyrics, granted that sometimes they get a bit choppy, but for the most part there good. although, I'd say your most issued problem is you need a better mic. your singing voice will sound better in a quality mic"
And then the next one:
"His lyrics are not bad, they're rather good actually. Also 90% of artists use the computer to make their voice sound better so once he uses a better method to alter his voice he will be better than most singers because he had some pretty good lyrics. Props to you Danny!"
Tells you a lot about what people understand about music and producing it, doesn't it