Oh o.k.
Someones a hottie!
Anyways back to the stories:
I don't know if this stuff is allowed, but this is my attempt to write something random in script formation:
The characters are:
Me: Self-expanatory
Mom: My mother
Dad: geuss
priest: the drunken neghborhood Catholic Priest
Crackhead Chris: He's a crackhead. And he's pissed.
Bed Wetting Bill: Sometimes he drinks a little too much before bed
Asshole Andy: He's your local deausch (sp?). His sole goal in life is to piss everyone off.
Peter the Pedophile: The 60 year old man who has a thing for girls who are 10 times younger than he is. That would mean, he has a thing for 6 year olds. And t.v. dinners
Here we go:
I'm in my house online and my mom walks in on me.
Mom: I like tater tots.
Me: Uhhhhhh...I' not smoking weed mom, I promise.
Mom: I like beans with ketchup.
Me: Mom, I'm telling you the truth.
Mom: Say you got any of doe's biscuits and greavvay left?
Me: Mom, you know that I cannot live on my own!
Mom: *starts playing with a yo-yo*
Me: Fine, I hated living here anyways.
*opens the door and slams it behind him.*
Go to hell mom!
Mom: Good, now he's gone. Now I can get online and cheat on my husband!
*15 minutes later*
*dad walks in*
Dad: Whaaaa??? Hhhhhwhaaat in the hell are you doin'
Mom: *turns around in a frantic motion trying to cover up the monitor.*
I like tater tots.
Dad: What are you hiding behind that computer?
Mom: I want to go to haw-eye! Yaaaaayyyy!
Dad: Well, I can't be mad at your purdy face forever. I'm going to go grab a beer in the fridge.
*Dad walks downstairs to the fridge* *Mom breaths a sigh of relief and goes back to doing what she does best other than making the best Meat loaf you can find. And that is being a total whore.*
*She is online to who she thinks is a 18 year old male. Really, she is talking to our favorite felon; Peter the Pedophile!*
Mom: *starts typing in the following* Hey hot stuff! I missed you so much! ^____^lol! I've been so lonely these last couple of weeks. My boyfriend cheated on me and I've been needing someone to comfort me.
Peter: *Becomes all of a sudden alarmed. He types in the following.*May I ask how old you are?
Mom: *she flat out lies* I'm 16 years old; why how old are you? ^____^
Peter: *Lies as well* 17 here. *He really is a 300 pound 41 year old man who is going bald*
Mom: Oh yes! We already have something in common lolz! ^____^
Peter: Oh yes, yes we sure do! *turns away from the monitor; winks and laughs out loud*
Mom: So where do you live hot stuff?
Peter: Livonia, Michigan
Mom: Lolz!!!!! Really!?????????!!!!111!!?!?!?!?! ^_____^ That's where I live! No way!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!11111!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111
Peter: Bitch learn how to type.
Mom: Lolz, sorrrrryyyyy!
Peter: That's o.k.
Mom: So hot stuff, how about we get together sometime!? I'm dieing for someone to hold me in their arms!
Peter: *horny as all hell now*Wow, really? My dad might get pissed if I leave my house, because I am grounded. I was caught with weed the other day.
Mom: Oh really? That's just too bad! I love a bad boy!
Peter: You know what? I can sneak out of my house; who am I kidding, I never follow my father's rules!
Mom: So where do you want to meet up at?
Peter: You know that McDonald's over on the intersection of Grashed and Pontiac Trail? There's a tool shed and a woodland area right next to it. There's also a little alley way out behind it. Do you know which one I am talking about?
Mom: Yes!!!!! I do!!!!1!! How about we meet at 10:00 P.M. tomorrow night!?
Peter: *starts giggling* Oh you know I'll be there!
Mom: See you then...baby! ^____^
*The next night in Peter's toolshed at 9:15 P.M.*
Peter: Hmmmmm....now what chemicals do I mix to create Chlorine Gas again? Shit, I knew I should've learned this before hand. Shit!
*10:00 P.M. arrives. A black pick-up truck enters McDonalds parking lot. In it is Peter himself cloaked in complete black.*
Peter: Now the time is ticking down for you girly girl. Oh god, this is going to feel so good!
*Mom arrives at McDonalds in her SUV*
Peter: *thinks to himself* Damn, I bet I can make a fortune off this girl!
Mom: *get's out of her SUV and walks up to Peter's car.*
Peter: Wait....what the fuck, she looks like she is my age! Oh what the fuck, this can't be her. She's got a nice rack though.
Mom: Hey, hot stuff, let me in!
Peter: *opens the window and shoots a dart into Mom's neck. She instantly falls to the floor, and Peter get's out and drags her into the back of his truck.*
To be continued: It's just too much typing for me.