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[NAD]

All this thread makes me want to say is "TOGETHER WE POWER," "the link is fixed," and "hey, check out Primal Fear."

 

[lizard]

Ive always thought I was a shit poster, generally - can't seem to rival anyone on here for wit, offensiveness, underground tr00ness or general weirdness, I just hang around and post rubbish. Ah well, haven't been chased out with pitchforks yet.

untrue, you're quite amusing and witty. for instance, dorian and I didn't know what V-plates were until you arrived.

We like new posters just fine, it's probably just not wise to start your first day here being an asshole. For instance, when you first step into someone else's house, do you shit on the carpet? no.

 

[Furious B]

The swearing I mean. Not the poster. Profanity the poster is fairly witless.

"Interesting thread."

lol

 

[dill_the_devil]

LOL - if nothing else, I can be proud that I introduced V-Plates and the Trivium 'Boat! Rudder!' video to the forum.

V-Plates isn't the weirdest thing I've heard virginity called here in Blighty, by the way - I had a friend who would never say that someone was a virgin - they'd say that they were a German instead. Confused the fuck out of me first time she asked me that (yep, my 20-year dry spell was quite the talking point for some reason).

"Are you still a German?"
"What?"
"You know... A German!"
"I've never been German!"

 

[dill_the_devil]

i like to wait at least a week

Do you make sure that you haven't shit elsewhere for that entire week, though?

 

[NAD]

First time I bought a Brand New Vehicle (Toyota pickup in 2001) I was doing the typical American thing of driving around showing it to all my friends. One dude took a seat, looked around for a second, and laid a fucking massive fart. Asshole.

 

[dill_the_devil]

I accidentally smashed an expensive wine glass Jenni's mom got as a wedding present while hammered on cheap wine. Then smashed the second in the pair two weeks later under the same circumstances.

 

[NAD]

Well at least you finished the job.

Got loaded one night, was throwing a football around outside. Chucked it at a friend who wasn't paying attention and didn't even see the ball, missed him by about 15 feet, landed right into a nice commemorative wine glass that shattered everywhere. What did I do? Blamed him for not catching it.

 

[dill_the_devil]

I never do things by halves.

 

[Thanatopsis123]

Ive always thought I was a shit poster, generally - can't seem to rival anyone on here for wit, offensiveness, underground tr00ness or general weirdness, I just hang around and post rubbish. Ah well, haven't been chased out with pitchforks yet.

Same here.

 

[lizard]

i like to wait at least a week

I knew someone would say something like this but I was in the file room doing fedex pkgs and couldn't edit my post

I accidentally smashed an expensive wine glass Jenni's mom got as a wedding present while hammered on cheap wine. Then smashed the second in the pair two weeks later under the same circumstances.

anyone who says you're a shit poster now is going to be in for some Lizard whupass.

 

[lizard]

First time I bought a Brand New Vehicle (Toyota pickup in 2001) I was doing the typical American thing of driving around showing it to all my friends. One dude took a seat, looked around for a second, and laid a fucking massive fart. Asshole.

DUDE
our office is in the process of buying new chairs and so we have some samples in my cube.

The contractor came over and sez, "hey, these are nice mesh seats...I'll bet that helps them diffuse odor, huh."

me: "yeah, I guess..."

*Contractor starts a string of rapid fire farting*

................

all I'm waiting for now is when our perv sysadmin comes by on monday, saying to him, "hey dude...Christy (this really hot chick) was sitting in that seat on friday...take a sniff of that seat!"

 

[NAD]

DUDE
our office is in the process of buying new chairs and so we have some samples in my cube.

The contractor came over and sez, "hey, these are nice mesh seats...I'll bet that helps them diffuse odor, huh."

me: "yeah, I guess..."

*Contractor starts a string of rapid fire farting*

Wakeup conversation at 5:30am a few days ago:
me: *FAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRT*
woman: "you fart a lot."
me: "THE FUCKING JEWS ARE THE REASON FOR ALL THE FARTS IN THE WORLD, ARE YOU A FUCKING JEW?!?!"
both: *pass out again*

 

[lizard]

check my edit

 

[NAD]

CHAIRSNIFFER.

 

[dill_the_devil]

TOILETSEATLICKER

 

[lizard]

LEATHER LOVING SHITKICKER

 

[dill_the_devil]

UPHOLSTERY SNORTING SISTER FINGER BANGING CAT SHIT EATING DONKEY RAPER

 

[lizard]

Where's that Surbiton - the Posh Bit Lee B....I never even got the "one in the pink, one in the stink" thing until someone explained it

 

[Guthrum]

That reminds me of a story my mom told me. She was in some ladies office and they were talking and the lady sneezes. The lady not only sneezed, but shit in her chair. So she asked my mom to cover for her while she left and went home to change. On the way out though, her friend had to comment on what a "shitty" day it was.