A question about gyms

I can't imagine wanting to go stand in a stall when there's a urinal there begging me to give it a golden shower. Waste of fucking time.
 
As I said, I've always been a stalls man but especially after being a bouncer for a while... I developed a paranoia about having some smartarse come up behind me and push me or something. Like I would say to people, "if some cunt is going to come up and smack me over the back of the head, it's NOT gonna be when I've got my cock out taking a piss"