Annoying Things in Metal Reviews

[cookiecutter]

What things annoy you in metal reviews?

For me the biggest thing is the word "slab". It seems every review says "This is a good slab of metal". It just sounds stupid.

I also dislike when all the reviewer does is compare the band to other obscure bands. A few comparisons are helpful, but it can get over the top fast.

 

[The Heartbreak Kid]

Trivum/Bullet for my Valentine the new Metallica? Errr NO!

 

[The Bringer]

I hate it when reviewers compare bands newer work with their past work. Most bands always start off the same way, either inexperienced musicians who don't know how to write real songs or completely play their instruments or a group of guys who are still finding their mesh together. This usually always ends with albums that are "raw, true and 'the best material' ". Of course later on when bands mature and the members become more developed with their instruments they find the groove they believe they were meant to be in. The music isn't as raw but it is much more developed. This is why I perfer stuff like new Amorphis over old Amorphis.

There are a lot of reviewers that have to understand that. And even as hard as a band tries they can never go back to writing those same types of riffs and songs because they know they can do better and those riffs are throw aways because they don't sound like the best they can do now.

 

[Zephyrus]

I don't like it when the reviewer says something like "I needn't take the time to dissect every song on the album." I'd prefer it if they gave short, 5-sentence synopses on each song. People often do that when writing customer reviews for albums on Amazon.com. These song synopses give me more insight into an unfamiliar album than other reviewing tactics. So it annoys me when the reviewer is too lazy to get to the details on each song.

 

[Wires & Waves]

an album is generally intended to be a cohesive work, not merely a collection of songs, so song-by-song analysis is retarded. individual songs should be mentioned, but their analysis shouldnt make up the entirety of the review

 

[Zephyrus]

an album is generally intended to be a cohesive work, not merely a collection of songs, so song-by-song analysis is retarded. individual songs should be mentioned, but their analysis shouldnt make up the entirety of the review

There's always room for both types of analyses in a comprehensive review.

 

[Wires & Waves]

theres no need for song-by-song analysis and i think interpreting albums in such a manner is missing the point and kills my enjoyment of the work as a whole. i have many albums i consider classics which have weak tracks on them, if itook your approach to listenign to an album that could never happen.

 

[Zephyrus]

Well most of the time I don't listen to albums as a whole, instead I have all the songs in my playlist shuffled on itunes and my ipod. I add to the playlist the songs from each album that I like the most.

I won't buy an album that, despite being flowing and cohesive, has only two songs worth listening two many times.

 

[Wires & Waves]

i think youre missing out on albums that work far better as a whole than as individual songs

 

[Zephyrus]

Well I'm not that kind of person. I listen for songs, and I don't feel I'm missing out on getting the big picture of albums.

 

[Dee Snarl]

I don't like it when the reviewer says something like "I needn't take the time to dissect every song on the album." I'd prefer it if they gave short, 5-sentence synopses on each song. People often do that when writing customer reviews for albums on Amazon.com. These song synopses give me more insight into an unfamiliar album than other reviewing tactics. So it annoys me when the reviewer is too lazy to get to the details on each song.

I hate song-by-song reviews.

Note that you usually only find those reviews on Amazon and forums and stuff....

 

[hibernal_dream]

What pisses me off about metal reviews? Everything. Yes, describing an album as "brutal", "melodic" or "tight" helps a lot, fucktard. And seriously, reviewers should be banned from labelling an album as death, black, power or numetal. They wouldn't know what to write.

 

[Zephyrus]

I hate song-by-song reviews.

Note that you usually only find those reviews on Amazon and forums and stuff....

Sometimes you want the consumers' opinions rather than the experts'.

 

[cookiecutter]

I don't like it when the reviewer says something like "I needn't take the time to dissect every song on the album." I'd prefer it if they gave short, 5-sentence synopses on each song. People often do that when writing customer reviews for albums on Amazon.com. These song synopses give me more insight into an unfamiliar album than other reviewing tactics. So it annoys me when the reviewer is too lazy to get to the details on each song.

I actually dislike song by song reviews. I find that it often gets to the point where they say things like "at 2:34 is a great melodic section." It gets too specific. Things like that don't help me. I'd rather find out what the album sounds like. Listing "standout tracks" or the like I feel is a better method for pointing out the good songs, than do a track by track review.

 

[R.I.P.2]

mainly stupid descriptions that make no sense like "face-ripping solos" orso

 

[The Bringer]

I dislike song by song reviews because almost 100% of the time nothing is ever concluded about the actual sound of the album and weither it is even any good in the first place. If I am told that Darkthrone's newest album is just as good as their last albums, that is no good for me at all because I haven't heard anything but Transilvanian Hunger. How will I actually know I like the music? Listen to it myself.

 

[Demilich]

an album is generally intended to be a cohesive work, not merely a collection of songs, so song-by-song analysis is retarded. individual songs should be mentioned, but their analysis shouldnt make up the entirety of the review

some bands use their albums as collections of songs, some bands craft cohesive listening experiences, and there is a lot of grey area in between. why are emo fans like you so typically, needlessly and predictably dualistic, Spectacular Views?

 

[The Bringer]

Wow, now that you mention it (and I look at her Last.FM), why does she come here? There isn't an ounce of metal in her blood.

 

[Hammer of Might]

"Opus"

 

[MasterOLightning]

Song by song reviews do generally suck, hence M-A's new stance on them. I also don't like the lack of context in a vast majority of amateur reviews. Often are they unfamiliar with the rest of the band's work, and they usually have no concept of what other bands of the sort are doing.

Reviews in major publications tend to score things too high, for obvious reasons, even though they are generally well written.