Best Fortune Cookie Quotes

[AngraRULES]

I don't know about you guys, but for some reason I'm always getting the weirdest/funniest quotes in fortune cookies.

This is what came to me at lunch (Chinese delivery on a snowy day truly rules):

"You will read this and say 'Geez! I could come up with better fortunes than that!"

Other ones I've gotten were "Eat more Chinese food. It's healthy and delicious!", "You will want another fortune cookie in 2 hours", and the best of them...

" "


Anyone else got something similar?

 

[OrbWeaver]

A friend of mine got one that said "You like Chinese food." He carries it around in his wallet as proof that he really did get a fortune that said that.

 

[cslebn]

coworker of mine got:

" Hard work break no bones,
fine words butter no parsnips "

 

[jaimek]

From the Chinese place by the venue at Powermad 2000: "Someone is watching you."

 

[BenMech]

my dad once got a fortune cookie which said "You Will Go To The Desert".

This was back in 1985 or 6.

Still hasn't happened.

 

[Pellaz]

A friend of mine swears he once got "You have no future" in a Chinese fortune cookie. No way to know for sure, since he committed suicide shortly thereafter........




....Okay, that last part ISN'T true, but he DOES swear he got that fortune once.


The niftiest fortune I've ever gotten was at a party at the 1989 Boston WorldCon (World SF Convention), where they commissioned their own fortune cookies and fortunes. Mine was "You will adapt 'The Wizard of Oz' to the Star Trek universe." (I haven't progressed past Page 4 of the screenplay.)


There are always rumors of someone getting a handwritten "Help! I'm being held captive in a Chinese fortune-cookie factory!" but I don't think it's ever been proven.

 

[Jibrille]

Never smell the inside of a hat.

 

[Diamond45]

I've always wanted to see the following:

"Help! I've been held captive in a Chinese bakery!"

 

[modernwizardry]

"It could be better, but it's good enough"

 

[thedelicateflower]

'is sleeping. even a fortune cookie needs a day off'

 

[Metal_Camden]

"Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity..."

 

[nailz]

"Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity..."

Goth Fortune Cookies are black.

 

[OrbWeaver]

I keep waiting for the day when I get a fortune that just says "...in bed."

 

[Chrisf]

"Wise man says: 'It takes many screws to build a crib, but only one to fill it.'"

 

[Pellaz]

I keep waiting for the day when I get a fortune that just says "...in bed."

But then the usual rule won't apply! Horrors!

"Wise man says: 'It takes many screws to build a crib, but only one to fill it.'"

LOL!

 

[No-Mercy]

Put the cookie down

 

[AngraRULES]

Another one for the ages:

"Deliciously prepared by Wonton Food Inc."