COB Interviews

Just so you know, I started Translations thread some days ago... for the same purpose. Maybe you missed it since there isn't any interviews yet...
 
 
I think there is not more absent-minded and stupid girl than me in the world!!! It is definitely true , maybe it's because of my GREAT excitement!!!! When I met Henkka (Henkka's voice is really attractive, and also Janne and Alexi's) and Janne ,I took their picture, but not with me!! It would be such a beautiful memory. And after I had talked to Alexi, I forgot to take his picture!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really need someone to kill me, indeed!!!!!
 
Here's one interview with Alexi and Janne in finnish. God, it's pervert.:D http://www.tuhma.fi/1.0/download/lehdet/tuhma022004.pdf
Since it's in finnish I also translated it, or tried to, to english. Some of the words are not good but neither is my english. Enjoy if you dare...:D

"Drink half a bottle of whisky first before you read this interview", Alexi Laiho and Janne Warman of Children of Bodom advice the readers of Tuhma magazine. TUHMA argees with this recommendation, because pretty decently began interview turned out to be complete debauchery.

AMBASSADORS OF PORN TURISM

April 2004. Four days before the interview the Bodom-related arrest has been on the news. Normal population wonders about the solving of the 44-year-old massacre on general level. The first thought of the rock population was "I wonder what the Bodom guys think about this?"
- At first, of course, we were like "what the fuck". Then we got interested about who did it, who did they get him, what was the motive and so on, men told.
- And then later we wondered if this wrecked our whole thing. I mean our name and a few songs. But in the end it doesn't have anything to do with what we do, Alexi summs up.
It still has been 44 years since the murders took place and they still are part of the finnish history. Do you remember how you heard about the story in the first place?
- I used to camp at the lake Bodom often when I was in junior high, also at the famous murder place, what is quite a coincidense. In related to that I think I heard about the murders, Janne says remembering the beer drinking and telling ghost stories.
Now it seems like the murderer is the only survivor, did you use to have other theories of your own?
- We used to have many kinds of theories. Some local landowner didn't like the youngsters camping there and he abviously had threatned people earlier. He then had confessed the murders to his friend and drowned himself afterwards. This theory is in one of the books about Bodom and it stayed in our minds as one possibility. But I never came to think that it could have been the fourth person. He had been stabbed too, Alexi thinks.
- In the end it could be pretty logical. If the other guy fought back so much that it was hard to tell who eventually dies, Janne thinks.
In COB's website the Bodom conversation gets at times and the story has been told there many times as well. The fans actually solved the mystery already few weeks before the police did.
- In our messageboard the murder was solved before the police. A few weeks ago some newer fan was asking about the Bodom thing. In the end of the conversation a theory was presented, that the survivor had killed the three other people.

OUR NISSE
Children of Bodom are still not completely confident about the police having the right man behind bars. The men are especially wondering about the suspects memoryloss and ability to live a normal life with a murder on his conscience.
- I was just today speculating with my brother that doesn't he really remember what happened in there or could he have been faking for 44 years, Janne is amazed.
- On the other hand it could be possible that he doesn't remember . And that could be why he has been able to act so normally, Alexi thinks and Janne agrees.
- An interesting guy, that Nils, Alexi adds.
- Nisse for us, Janne grins.
If the solving of the murders will take a bit of the mystery from Bodom, will you still keep the bands name the same?
- We are changing our name to Stratovarius. It is much more stabbing related these days, Janne jokes.
Alexi supports the idea, since the person who stabbed Timo Tolkki is still free, another unsolved stabbing adventure is available. Alexi then adds, getting serious for a while, that the name remains the same. Maybe the bands reaper mascot could be named Nisse but otherwise the bands actions aren't affected. Even though some kind of co-working has been humorously thought of.
- We were thinking today at the record label about how much should we have to pay for Nisse to have him go to the trial with our shirt on. On the back of one of our old shirts says "I survived lake Bodom". If Nisse could promote us a little and do that, Janne tells and laughs out loud.
The vision of the live broadcast of the Bodom trial where the suspect would be wearing this shirt is so crazy that we are ending the conversation on this subject.

SIBELIUS MOTHERFUCKING MONUMENT
Children of Bodom publiches a Trashed, Lost & Strungout - EP in the summer, together with a dvd. The dvd could be described as some kind of "The five in trouble"-styled adventure movie that also has a meaning to be a tour guide for the tourists travelling to the capital. I doubt that this travelling video will have the approval of th travel developmet center, but propably will cause good laughter in any dvd-player. What is it about?
- It wasn't our idea at all. Our management told us that it would be great if you did some Helsinki sightseeing thing. We thought that how embarrasing would that be. And the whole thing got totally out of hand, Janne tells shaking his head.
- We then said that ok, we'll do it, but we will do it in our way, Alexi adds.
- We deliberatelly overdid the whole thing.. We were totally drunk, as we are supposed to, Janne reveals.
- We fucked around with some snow sculptures and messed around our rehearsal place. At the joking store we spent over a hundred euros and we stopped at the liquor store several times, men tell the few things they remember about the filming session.
The results are still satisfying. Anyway, you can only praise the upcoming dvd. The Bodom guys will visit the lake Bodom for some winter sports, Ruttopuisto for some wrestling and as an addition the sight named "Sibelius Motherfucking Monument" and Tavastia, of course. It will be the kind of level of messing around, that even the Eläkeläiset will have to increase their pace to keep up with the Bodom guys.

CAMPING AT FESTIVALS? FUCK NO!
COB will only play one finnish festival gig this summer, at Sauna Open Air in Tampere in June. Why so?
- We had a kind of awakening about that even though we sell gold in Finland, we still get paid lousy. We did this tactic move of only playing one festival gig in Finland. We priced it in advance and informed a few festivals that Bodom will cost you this and this much. We thought that the price was astonomical but Sauna Open Air took it, Janne opens up.
Alexi gives us another reason for this one-gig-policy.
- There's also the fact that we haven't published a new album in a while. Finland in that small country that in here you can't ride the same horse forever.
What's the best thing about the festivals?
- You can drink and see other bands in addition to playing gigs, Alexi boasts.
- Summer, sun, alcohol, Janne adds.
The guys tell that they have visited festivals mostly to play and the visits among the audience have been fewer. Have you ever even camped at the festivals as the populace?
- No way, Janne cries out and keeps on preaching
- I'm not going to fucking tents! People take a piss on you and the tent falls down...no fucking way. Won't go.
- I have never been camping at the festivals, Alexi confesses.
- It's cool to play at there but I would never get in to the things that happen in the camping areas. I have been wathcing when my brother has been camping at the festivals where we have played at, for example Nummirock. Their tent was burned, the things stolen and they got into a fight with the people in the neighbour tent. I don't need that, Janne ends up the conversation about the festivals.

UNAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR IN PORN STORE
Porn is what keeps a man going. If COB was an item in the porn store, what would it be?
- A kind of buzzing and wondering dildo, Alexi defines without much thinking.
- Yeah, but it has to be a little dark model, not too fancy or bright colored. A little poor, Janne specifies and tells under the same breath how they were touring in London next to a big porn store. They thought it sucked and according to them there are much better stores for example in Greece. They tell that they spend their spare time at tours visiting the erotic shops.
- We were in Detroit and the other band on the tour had a tour bus where everyone had an own television-video-set in their beds. We went to a porn store together and while the other band was buying videos we were browsing through some magazines. The other guys asked us that what the fuck are you doing with magazines and we explained to them that we don't everybody have a television set of our own. The vendor behind the counter was almost dying of laughter, Janne laughs.
- And the lady at the store started to feed me some whipped cream sold in some jars, so you could pour it on some lady and then lick it there, Alexi explains.
- But we usually visit a porn store every time we find one, Janne confesses.
- And we also visit the jerkoff-booths, Alexi reveals the secrets of the bands porn tourism.
- Once we had just visited somewhere with very good jerkoff-booths. Then we went to some really fancy place with the video-booths, and they really weren't jerkoff-booths, but we thought they were. We went there and..kind of..well, "to see it". Then there immediately came someone to knock on the door that "hey guys, could you get the fuck outta here", Janne confesses.
A few people are able to get thrown out even from a porn store because of "unappropriate behaviour" but these Finlands rock musical export hopes seem to be able to even do that.
 
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