Metallica's elaborate plan to infiltrate the pop music machine and infect it with metal is finally coming together. The sacrifices they've made - willing to be rejected and reviled by fans who were not privy to their plan for confidentiality's sake - are finally culminating in what will be ultimate victory. Rejoice!! The name Metallica will soon be exonerated throughout the land!
This brilliant strategy of theirs, known as Operation: 'Metal Militia', was carefully planned and has been in the works for years. Only a small, elite group of Metal Militia operatives, sworn to utmost secrecy, were allowed to know of Metallica's ultimate plan. The doors WILL open for other metal bands, now that their reconnaissance mission has payed off, it's time to bring in the reinforcements for the full-scale attack and final battle.
Metallica will use their position to manipulate the fascist 'pop machine' and subject it to total infiltration by metal bands. Metallica will also then return to making the great music they once did, once the operation is successfully completed.
Much like a host organism, the pop machine will become infected with diseased cells (metal bands) until the point it is completely overtaken and ceases to be.
At that point, the record industry execs will have no choice but to give the people what they really want, but have denied them for so long; METAL!
In the end, Metallica will sit atop the smouldering heap of musical mediocrity's ruin, with all their metal cronies, and laugh hysterically as they smoke their cigars and relish the ripe smell of pop's death. The few who survive the onslaught will be cast off the billboard charts and into darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Have strength, oh Faithful Ones, our years of suffering were NOT in vain! The sweet taste of victory will soon be ours!
Listen well, my children of Metal...
I AM the Leper Messiah, and this is my prophecy. \m/
*this theory is for purposes of ridiculous amusement only - do not take too seriously! :Spin:
but on the other hand...who knows?
This brilliant strategy of theirs, known as Operation: 'Metal Militia', was carefully planned and has been in the works for years. Only a small, elite group of Metal Militia operatives, sworn to utmost secrecy, were allowed to know of Metallica's ultimate plan. The doors WILL open for other metal bands, now that their reconnaissance mission has payed off, it's time to bring in the reinforcements for the full-scale attack and final battle.
Metallica will use their position to manipulate the fascist 'pop machine' and subject it to total infiltration by metal bands. Metallica will also then return to making the great music they once did, once the operation is successfully completed.
Much like a host organism, the pop machine will become infected with diseased cells (metal bands) until the point it is completely overtaken and ceases to be.
At that point, the record industry execs will have no choice but to give the people what they really want, but have denied them for so long; METAL!
In the end, Metallica will sit atop the smouldering heap of musical mediocrity's ruin, with all their metal cronies, and laugh hysterically as they smoke their cigars and relish the ripe smell of pop's death. The few who survive the onslaught will be cast off the billboard charts and into darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Have strength, oh Faithful Ones, our years of suffering were NOT in vain! The sweet taste of victory will soon be ours!
Listen well, my children of Metal...
I AM the Leper Messiah, and this is my prophecy. \m/
*this theory is for purposes of ridiculous amusement only - do not take too seriously! :Spin:
but on the other hand...who knows?
