Dimmu Borgir - Stormblåst 2005
Nuclear Blast Records
Attention: This review comes from the prospective of a fan of the 1996 Dimmu Borgir album "Stormblåst". This is an interactive, stream of conciousness review, so this review has been written as the album was playing in the background. I feel this most accurately is able to reflect my reaction to this <strikethrough>album</strikethrough> piece of shit
Attention #2: This review is in no way associated or produced by the reviews conglomerate known as "Royal Carnage". This review is independently user posted because Royal Carnage is now defunct, and this forum seems so lonely, and needs some hate, and stuff.
OH GOD THE DRUM TRIGGERS MAKE THEM STOP!!!!
Where's the piano intro? what the fuck? OMG THESE TRIGGERS ARE SO FREAKIN ANNOYING!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!?!?! A HARMONIC+DIVEBOMB??? THOSE DON'T EXIST ON THE ORIGINAL!!! ok the atmosphere on this album was effectively ruined by the remake, plus they didn't even use real drums. What the fuck? Sorgens Kammer was a beautiful atmospheric piano piece and now it's a fucking shit fuck distortion laden piece of crap. Da Den Kristne Sattle Livet Til is fucking ruined as well. WHAT THE FUCK??? The dreamlike guitar riffs of the original have been gutted with this terrible Mesa Boogie rectumfryer tone, the soul of the keyboards is GONE, AND THESE GODDAMN TRIGGERED DRUMS ARE STILL PISSING ME OFF. There are a few rare instances where it approaches the old glory (very the end of Dodsferd is probably the closest approximation of the old album to the new one), but for the most part it misses the mark ENTIRELY AND SOUNDS LIKE ASS. The bass riffs are less prominent on the remake, most of the time you're hearing rectumfryer guitar and THESE FUCKING DRUM TRIGGERS, once again the keyboards are almost non-existent for the most part. Ultimately the overuse of such makes some songs, such as Vinder Fra Ensom Grav, barely recognizable from the original song at times. The quality of this re-recording really makes me weep, not for the fact that the songs were all re-done TERRIBLY but for the fact that the future generation will grow up hearing this instead of the original Cacophonus records version. A true testament to the Nuclear Blast generation. The bonus track is interesting, but exhibits the same worthless characteristics of the rest of the album. All the remade songs on this album are still, essentially good songs. The fact that Stormblåst 1996 is so good is proof of this. THIS... This however, this happens to be the worst remake ever.
/ 10
-MajestikMøøse
Nuclear Blast Records
Attention: This review comes from the prospective of a fan of the 1996 Dimmu Borgir album "Stormblåst". This is an interactive, stream of conciousness review, so this review has been written as the album was playing in the background. I feel this most accurately is able to reflect my reaction to this <strikethrough>album</strikethrough> piece of shit
Attention #2: This review is in no way associated or produced by the reviews conglomerate known as "Royal Carnage". This review is independently user posted because Royal Carnage is now defunct, and this forum seems so lonely, and needs some hate, and stuff.
OH GOD THE DRUM TRIGGERS MAKE THEM STOP!!!!
Where's the piano intro? what the fuck? OMG THESE TRIGGERS ARE SO FREAKIN ANNOYING!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!?!?! A HARMONIC+DIVEBOMB??? THOSE DON'T EXIST ON THE ORIGINAL!!! ok the atmosphere on this album was effectively ruined by the remake, plus they didn't even use real drums. What the fuck? Sorgens Kammer was a beautiful atmospheric piano piece and now it's a fucking shit fuck distortion laden piece of crap. Da Den Kristne Sattle Livet Til is fucking ruined as well. WHAT THE FUCK??? The dreamlike guitar riffs of the original have been gutted with this terrible Mesa Boogie rectumfryer tone, the soul of the keyboards is GONE, AND THESE GODDAMN TRIGGERED DRUMS ARE STILL PISSING ME OFF. There are a few rare instances where it approaches the old glory (very the end of Dodsferd is probably the closest approximation of the old album to the new one), but for the most part it misses the mark ENTIRELY AND SOUNDS LIKE ASS. The bass riffs are less prominent on the remake, most of the time you're hearing rectumfryer guitar and THESE FUCKING DRUM TRIGGERS, once again the keyboards are almost non-existent for the most part. Ultimately the overuse of such makes some songs, such as Vinder Fra Ensom Grav, barely recognizable from the original song at times. The quality of this re-recording really makes me weep, not for the fact that the songs were all re-done TERRIBLY but for the fact that the future generation will grow up hearing this instead of the original Cacophonus records version. A true testament to the Nuclear Blast generation. The bonus track is interesting, but exhibits the same worthless characteristics of the rest of the album. All the remade songs on this album are still, essentially good songs. The fact that Stormblåst 1996 is so good is proof of this. THIS... This however, this happens to be the worst remake ever.
/ 10-MajestikMøøse
